2006 Haiku Diary

Haiku 1/1

What a perfect day.
Horror movie, Mexican food,
and not too sunny.

Haiku 1/2

Japanese bootleg
video games. "Galaga"
is now "Galaza."

Haiku 1/3

Job interview time.
Bust out the ol' Gap sweater,
and tune your guitar.


Haiku 1/4

Dreamt my Dad had a
Bo Diddley guitar with a
bible stuck in it.

Haiku 1/5

Found a part-time job.
Heaven knows I'm mis'rable,
Morrissey was right!

Haiku 1/6

For veggie dumplings,
gamble on sharing tables
at New Green Bo, dude.

Haiku 1/7

This winter's alright.
I haven't worn longjohns once.
Guess I just jinxed it.

Haiku 1/8

Weekends don't mean much
when you only work ten hours
leading up to them.

Haiku 1/9

When you lie awake,
I don't suggest lingering
on past betrayals.

Haiku 1/10

I'm so productive.
I wish that this part time job
could pay the damn rent!

Haiku 1/11

Am I a slackass?
No shower, thanks to Tetris
and an ab workout.

Haiku 1/12

I'm like Sisyphus.
Spent half the day putting back
what I pulled before.

Haiku 1/13

This bar looks like if
a goth teen decorated
her parents' whole house.

Haiku 1/14

Richmond called at 10,
when I was baking cookies,
not sure what to do.

Haiku 1/15

This weekend was great.
I cooked a shitload of food
and bought a guitar.

Haiku 1/16

Sharon, you rule, girl.
Please take me to see Wu-Tang
on Valentine's Day.

Haiku 1/17

Stayed in from the show
to cook and watch "Jason X."
Hell, it was raining.

Haiku 1/18

Got a second job,
an existential nightmare
with a red pencil.

Haiku 1/19

Couldn't sleep last night.
Finished what I was reading,
and lay there, blinking.

Haiku 1/20

Both jobs, ragtime band,
my friends' punk band, bar-hopping,
all on five hours sleep.

Haiku 1/21

My band recorded,
then I went to a party.
Some girl dropped my weed.

Haiku 1/22

I spent the whole day
tripping on magic mushrooms.
I need to slow down.

Haiku 1/23

Try cooking curry
when you've got a bunch of old
veggies in your fridge.

Haiku 1/24

Hit an open mic.
Didn't talk to anyone
but the bartender.

Haiku 1/25

New downstairs neighbor
lets her smoke alarm go off
all the live long day.

Haiku 1/27

People doing coke
look like giant anteaters.
Fun party, lame drugs.

Haiku 1/28

It was so nice out,
but I was in the basement,
recording demos.

Haiku 1/29

It started to rain
when we were leaving the house.
We left anyway.

Haiku 1/30

Only had one drink,
ran three miles, had no fried food,
and feel really good.

Haiku 1/31

Played that open mic
that I talked about last week.
Biked home in the rain.


Haiku 2/1

Peach quesadillas
sure put me in a good mood.
Here's to you, black beans!

Haiku 2/2

Finish up your work,
the plane to Puerto Rico
leaves just before dawn.

Haiku 2/3

On the plane at 5
"Walk the Line" was the in-flight
Already sunburned.

Haiku 2/4

Gallos, platanos
tele en el hotele,
y ron sabroso.

Haiku 2/5

The beach in the rain
is still pretty fucking sweet.
Kinda miss veggies.

Haiku 2/6

Sacamos fotos
en un cementerio,
en un gran playa.

Haiku 2/7

Boring plane ride home,
unpacked, rocked Cody Chesnutt,
destroyed the bathroom.

Haiku 2/8

Work computer's down,
other job wants more hours,
friends in town backed out.

Haiku 2/9

Great head-butt, Jamie.
It looks like a herpes sore
on my lower lip.

Haiku 2/10

Going to Philly
to see Wu-Tang tomorrow.
36 Chambers!

Haiku 2/11

Wu-Tang in Philly,
then "Bride of Chucky" was on.
Happy birthday, Dad!

Haiku 2/12

Big fucking snowstorm!
Bus drivers still won't slow down,
but we're home on time.

Haiku 2/13

All these things to do
fill my head and keep me from
doing anything.

Haiku 2/14

V-Day was a bust.
I tried to paint the bedroom,
and Sharon was sick.

Haiku 2/15

I called in to work
so I could finish painting.
Don't tell anyone!

Haiku 2/16

I hung up some shelves.
We moved in eight months ago,
so it was high time.

Haiku 2/17

Ever just stay in
'cos you think you're getting sick,
then just get hyper?

Haiku 2/18

Ate a lot of beans
and hung with Shauna and Matt.
It was cold as fuck!

Haiku 2/19

When you cook a bunch,
try to make the bath towels
smell like fried chicken.

Haiku 2/20

Got a bad night's sleep,
treated my stomach bad, and
saw bad comedy.

Haiku 2/21

I got drunk on wine.
All Strangers played a great show
at a good potluck.

Haiku 2/22

I work from home, and
my neighbor likes reggaeton.
Callate, cono!

Haiku 2/23

In the studio
until one, working on the
All Strangers demo.

Haiku 2/24

Tacos for dinner,
hilarious bus driver,
scary cab driver.

Haiku 2/25

Tacos for breakfast,
and hung out with my parents.
Also saw Liza!

Haiku 2/26

No tacos today,
just band practice and oatmeal.
Watched "Pink Panther," too.

Haiku 2/27

Some days just go by.
Nothing funny or crappy,
just work, eat, and sleep.


Haiku 2/28

Put in my notice!
ROCK 'N' ROLL WILL NEVER DIE!
Take that, shitty job!

Haiku 3/1

Drunk guy by the store
is singing Luther Vandross
while we're walking home.

Haiku 3/2

Right after dinner,
I organized my closet
while I was all high.

Haiku 3/3

When Sharon's not home,
I cook meat and listen to
music that she hates.

Haiku 3/4

Saw The Smoking Popes,
and the Curious George flick.
Hear that? Best day ever.

Haiku 3/5

Slept in like crazy,
and got nothing done all day.
Couldn't even sleep.

Haiku 3/6

Man was I tired,
on autopilot all day.
Finished my book, though.

Haiku 3/7

Red wine marinade,
garlic mayo sauce, and a
book by Chester Himes.

Haiku 3/8

Took the day off work
because it's Sharon's spring break.
Rode our bikes around.

Haiku 3/9

Found a light up cross
by a church on Washington.
Brought it home. Creepy!

Haiku 3/10

Some nice-ass weather!
Nothing to do but drink beer!
Springtime in New York!

Haiku 3/11

Ate Veggie Castle,
walked home, biked to a soul night
at a soulless bar.

Haiku 3/12

Bad day, thanks to a
fucking allergy attack.
I hardly went out.

Haiku 3/13

I quit my dumb job
and stayed up 'til 3 mixing
the All Strangers stuff.

Haiku 3/14

My new rule of thumb:
Only go to restaurants
that fat people like.

Haiku 3/15

My temp job is doomed,
but my "Beavis and Butthead"
DVDs did come.

Haiku 3/16

Read. Push-ups. Coffee.
Work. Jog. Lunch. Laundry. More work.
DVD. Punk show.

Haiku 3/17

Finally checked out
the liquor store with the huge
rum pirate out front.

Haiku 3/18

Had to drown a mouse.
Got a tracksuit from Caitlin.
What a weird/cool day.

Haiku 3/19

Next year, my parents
are moving back to Boston.
Get outta the south!

Haiku 3/20

The post office line
was so long, my MP3
battery ran out.

Haiku 3/21

Did some temp work for
the folks I work from home for.
Then I worked at home.

Haiku 3/22

Working lots this week,
saving for when I don't work,
and I just worry.

Haiku 3/23

I worked ten hours
on one website. I think my
eyes are gonna cross.

Haiku 3/24

Whatchoo know about
a nineteen hundred dollar
tax return, sucka?

Haiku 3/25

I paced myself well.
Drank a lot of shitty beer
and secondhand smoke.

Haiku 3/26

I worked a lot, but
still had a lazy Sunday.
It's a crime not to.


Haiku 3/27

I should have changed pants.
My "work jeans" got all smoky
over the weekend.

Haiku 3/28

Yo! Thank you, Ghostface,
for dropping a fly album
right by my birthday.

Haiku 3/29

I'm twenty-seven!
Started my year clear-headed;
worked hard, exercised.

Haiku 3/30

Walked through the city,
and then I rode my longboard
through my neighborhood.

Haiku 3/31

The Westside Highway
bike path shoots up Manhattan
like spice through your tongue.

Haiku 4/1

Two trays of nachos!
This includes three bags of chips,
and four bags of cheese.

Haiku 4/2

Nachos, two new songs,
skateboarding, nice-ass weather,
Jamaican shower.

Haiku 4/3

Sat up late, reading.
And I saw Bobcat Goldthwaite
walking down Broadway.

Haiku 4/4

I crave free time, but
when I get it, why do I
just piss it away?

Haiku 4/5

There's no telling if
I'll want to be creative
when I have the time.

Haiku 4/6

Young bar folks get all
nostalgic for alt-rock songs
I'm too old to like.

Haiku 4/7

Saw The Hold Steady!
Sharon said I was the most
ethnic person there.

Haiku 4/8

Had a hangover.
I gave myself a tattoo
and had some houseguests.

Haiku 4/9

It's between winter
and the allergy season.
A grace period.

Haiku 4/10

Did you ever drink
bourbon from hollow chocolate
Easter Bunny heads?

Haiku 4/11

There's a bottle of
Remy in the food photos
at the Chinese spot.

Haiku 4/12

Celebrated our
anniversary, watching
"Reno 911."

Haiku 4/13

My sister's moving
in a neighborhood over.
I made stuffed peppers.

Haiku 4/14

Sat in traffic for
four hours and I had an
allergy attack.

Haiku 4/15

My old band played a
reunion show in Richmond.
It was really fun.

Haiku 4/16

Lost my voice last night,
and spent the afternoon in
my parents' crawlspace.

Haiku 4/17

Went to a high school,
spoke to a class about zines.
Still freaked out by jocks.

Haiku 4/18

Pervert's holding up
nudie photos from his car.
I'm on the Greyhound.

Haiku 4/19

Left my phone at work,
then returned Matt's Metrocard.
Made two trips back.

Haiku 4/20

Dude, it's four-twenty!
I cleared the bong twice before
heading off to work.

Haiku 4/21

Pulled a skater punk
up through Bed-Stuy on my bike
on my way back home.

Haiku 4/22

Felt sick and sneezy.
Got Tigerbalm in my eye,
and watched "ATL."


Haiku 4/23

When the rain let up,
we rode bikes into Crown Heights
for some ital food.

Haiku 4/24

A little-known fact:
An hour of air hockey
is really tiring.

Haiku 4/25

Lew, Drew and me jumped
the Coney Island gun. Cheap
beer's back in my life.

Haiku 4/26

I dreamed I pissed blood.
That'll sure fuck up your day.
I blame the pollen.

Haiku 4/27

Know what I'm sick of?
Sneezing! Fucking sneezing! Ugh!
I'll run out of snot!

Haiku 4/28

Bar's got weak drinks, a
four dollar photo booth, and
dress shirts. I'm leaving.

Haiku 4/29

I played music with
Kareem, Myles and Marc today.
Good times, loud guitars.

Haiku 4/30

Blugh. Sat on my ass
doing extra freelance work.
Not much to report.

Haiku 5/1

Lord, please help me stop
listening to Hall & Oates
over and over.

Haiku 5/2

Working at home is
kinda lonesome, but better
than dealing with jerks.

Haiku 5/3

Why'd it start to rain
when I was gonna go skate?
Meh, guess I'll just bike.

Haiku 5/4

Well-fed pink men say
"Fuckentwelvepackgoateeman"
in ol' Virginia.

(*for Meeo)*

Haiku 5/5

I'm a grizzly bear.
I just eat a lot of fish
and hang out alone.


Haiku 5/6

Harlem walking tour.
Saw where my grandma hung out.
It's an IHOP now.

Haiku 5/7

When you work at home,
the city is yours, but you
share on the weekend.

Haiku 5/8

Got a bunch of zines
and fell asleep reading them
on the couch at nine.

Haiku 5/9

Sharon woke me up
so there'd be a new haiku
when she got to work.

Haiku 5/10

Yes! Stuffed pepper date!
"Grandma's Boy" on DVD,
and Table Talk pies!

Haiku 5/11

Why did the cops tail
me when I was out riding
my bike in the park?

Haiku 5/12

Got gay married
to get some health insurance.
Shit's cruising along.

Haiku 5/13

Had some friends in town.
Goddamn did I eat a lot.
By "eat" I mean "drink."

Haiku 5/14

Glad I'm not used to
the hangovers anymore,
but damn do they hurt.

Haiku 5/15

With all this free time,
you'd think I'd write more than just
a haiku a day.

Haiku 5/16

Emergency room
was too busy, so we left
and bought Jack Daniel's.

Haiku 5/17

Wow, what a fun night!
Art, slider burgers, and a
German beer garden.

Haiku 5/18

I cooked four courses
and not one of them was fried!
I'm losing my touch.

Haiku 5/19

Went drinking again.
Wow, what will I think of next?
Hangovers rock ass!

Haiku 5/20

The dance party ruled!
I made the floor electric
to Miami bass.

Haiku 5/21

Slept 'til noon cos I
went to a dance party and
spilled beer on my Clark's.

Haiku 5/22

I worked, read, and cooked.
Hugel came by for a bit,
we watched "CSI."

Haiku 5/23

The glare of the sun
was so strong that I hardly
got home from the park.

Haiku 5/24

Yesterday's was "emo."
I meant that the weather's sweet,
and Prospect Park rules.

Haiku 5/25

Went to a weird show.
Made me glad I don't still tour.
My ears are ringing.

Haiku 5/26

I made a collage
of porn and religious tracts,
then drew a skater.

Haiku 5/27

Helped my sister move,
then got four drinks spilled on me
at a "dance" party.

Haiku 5/28

At a cookout, got
two sets of balls on my head
at the same damn time.

Haiku 5/29

Got hot overnight.
I cut the sleeves off some shirts,
and ditched out on socks.

Haiku 5/30

A new way to say
"Worked, took a bike ride, cooked, chilled"
would be most welcome.

Haiku 5/31

Went to see Team Dresch.
Brought back punk house memories
while they owned the stage.

Haiku 6/1

I stayed in to rest.
It was a long week of fun,
and I'm partied out.


Haiku 6/2

The sky opened up
down by Empire Boulevard.
Soaked and far from home.

Haiku 6/3

It was all rainy.
I got full of cheezburgerz,
and did some writing.

Haiku 6/4

It's good to go out
on Sunday nights. Keeps Fox shows
from taking over.

Haiku 6/5

Neighborhood kids say
"Hey mister, do a kickflip!"
when I'm out skating.

Haiku 6/6

It's 6/6/06!
Went out looking for LARPers.
Not much going on.

Haiku 6/7

I appreciate
a big dinner, a bongload,
and a few whiskeys.

Haiku 6/8

Popping pills to sleep,
fucking neighbors all outside,
radio still plays.

Haiku 6/9

This Green Day CD
is so old that the songs don't
come up on iTunes.

Haiku 6/10

I got a fever
and couldn't go see Dungen.
How shitty is that?

Haiku 6/11

I dreamt my old job
was in a high school classroom.
It made perfect sense.

Haiku 6/12

With no appetite,
I'm a shadow of myself.
I hate being sick.

Haiku 6/13

Raymond Chandler makes
me wish for a past era
I'd never live in.

Haiku 6/14

My Grandma's dying,
my job's cutting my hours,
and my new band rules.

Haiku 6/15

Slept bad, worked too much,
then saw Maceo Parker,
and all was aces.

Haiku 6/16

Extra work, the park,
a book, a margarita,
a sugar headache.

Haiku 6/17

It was overcast
and the water was freezing,
but the beach still ruled.

Haiku 6/18

It was hot as nuts
and I had the worst beershits.
Got some writing done.

Haiku 6/19

Worried about work,
'cos they're cutting back hours.
Otherwise, just chilled.

Haiku 6/20

Went to an art show.
I stood on the balcony
and watched the city.

Haiku 6/21

Fucked up resume,
still got the interview call.
This job should rule... NOT!

Haiku 6/22

A creepy dude bar,
and then to a gay punk show.
I ran the gamut.

Haiku 6/23

New England traffic,
and leaving New York traffic.
A bizarre beach town.

Haiku 6/24

Ate a Maine lobster
then panicked at the pitch-black
small town seaside night.

Haiku 6/25

Drank the hangover,
ate the leftovers, hit a
Russian barbecue.

Haiku 6/26

When it's late and drunk,
"No Parking Monday" looks like
"No Parking Sunday."

Haiku 6/27

I often miss home
when I'm on a trip. It's hard
to miss loud neighbors.

Haiku 6/28

Is it a good thing
when Wednesdays feel like Sundays?
I need some more work.


Haiku 6/29

Found a pair of shades
almost just like the sweet ones
I broke last summer.

Haiku 6/30

Ate vegan all day
and ran around the whole park.
...then I got shitfaced.

Haiku 7/1

I thought that the fruit
from the empty sangria
was fruit salad. Eww.

Haiku 7/2

At the beach I saw
Corky from "Life Goes On," and
got a sunburned chest.

Haiku 7/3

It was hot as nuts.
I went for a run, and then
played a decent show.

Haiku 7/4

People next to us
singing patriotic songs
in off harmony.

Haiku 7/5

Sent out resumes,
made stuffed peppers, wrote a bit.
Where did my day go?

Haiku 7/6

Two calls about jobs!
Fired up the slow cooker,
and stayed up too late.

Haiku 7/7

Manager asks me
to "describe your work ethnic."
I don't want the job.

Haiku 7/8

Ladies & gentlemen, people of the press, I ask you:
Which one of these two haikus should be the official Haiku of The Day for July 8th? Leave your vote as a comment...

1.
I don't see new bands,
just the reunions of bands
I liked in high school.

2.
Got doored on my bike
after hanging with Barker
at the Lifetime show.

Haiku 7/9

We biked up to Queens.
Went to an Olympic pool
and a Czech beer hall.

Haiku 7/10

I love the crockpot-
the whole apartment smells tight!
Ate a huge dinner.


Haiku 7/11

Slow cooker all day,
while I was at band practice,
and doing laundry.

Haiku 7/12

My modem's fucked up.
No "How To Tie A Tie" site
for my interview.

Haiku 7/13

Did courier work,
saw free music in the park,
and had nice houseguests.

Haiku 7/14

My friend Mike's in town.
Known him since 7th grade math,
but we get drunk now.

Haiku 7/15

Chicken and waffles,
outdoor food and Art Brut show,
Common on Fulton.

Haiku 7/16

Verrazanno toll
is like eating spicy food -
hurts more going out.

Haiku 7/17

I took three dumps, and
stepped on a little kid's hand.
He was on some stairs.

Haiku 7/18

Oppressively hot.
Stayed in doing freelance work,
took a walk at night.

Haiku 7/19

Had a band practice
in the middle of the day.
Working at home rules.

Haiku 7/20

Got a cameraphone.
The first photo that I took
was of Sharon's boobs.

Haiku 7/21

Woke up in Richmond.
It's real hot in the suburbs.
Went to Mike's wedding.

Haiku 7/22

It's hot in Richmond.
Drove from AC to AC,
even with the clouds.

Haiku 7/23

Man, fuck the Greyhound.
And the guy on his cellphone.
Fuck him too, big time.

Haiku 7/24

Did some freelance work,
signed with a temp agency,
drew a sweet wizard.

Haiku 7/25

Went for a good run -
the weather's been mercyful.
Ate some leftovers.

Haiku 7/26

I think this temp job
wants me to take a drug test.
What do I do now?

Haiku 7/27

Flight to Milwaukee.
Haven't seen Neil in three years.
Tax refund summer!

Haiku 7/28

Off the plane, to the
Black Holocaust Museum
then a Brew'ry tour.

Haiku 7/29

A creepy brownout,
foot blisters, deep-dish pizza,
Nice boobs, Chicago.

Haiku 7/30

Milwaukee sure eats.
A sunburn Sunday street fair.
Milwaukee sure drinks.

Haiku 7/31

On the plane first thing,
sore from the crooked futon.
Had a great visit.

Haiku 8/1

With the heat index,
it's as close to boiling as
it is to freezing.

Haiku 8/2

It was hot as nutz!
Had a dude date to the beach
with good ol' Joey.

Haiku 8/3

To get free healthcare,
I should have worked two hours less.
So damn frustrating.

Haiku 8/4

A triathalon!
Went running, biked to a show,
and walked to a bar.

Haiku 8/5

Going kinda broke,
then I got shortchanged five bucks.
Wound up drunk. The blues!

Haiku 8/6

Freckles on my lips
from all the sun this summer.
They look like ink stains.


Haiku 8/7

Rode to Big George's,
talked to a merchant marine
about Australia.

Haiku 8/8

It's so damn nice out,
even Wythe Ave. was pretty.
That's impossible!

Haiku 8/9

Did some freelance work,
and sent out some resumes.
Hung with Marc and Glenn.

Haiku 8/10

Donuts are hard drugs;
they seem like a fun idea,
but they just hurt you.

Haiku 8/11

I should be sleeping,
but instead I'm haikuing.
Tomorrow I'll hurt.

Haiku 8/12

Three meals of tacos.
Almost beat the hangover.
Sorta took a nap.

Haiku 8/13

I slept the hell in,
and then worked on some writing.
Get better, Sharon.

Haiku 8/14

A temp agency,
a sweet new tattoo design,
awesome comedy.

Haiku 8/15

Computer's fucked up,
what the hell else can go wrong?
It's Caitlin's birthday.

Haiku 8/16

Ravioli soup,
a couple new leads on jobs.
Not optimistic.

Haiku 8/17

Edited my zine.
I'm gonna lay it out soon.
This is exciting.

Haiku 8/18

Coffee, Hall and Oates,
run in the park, interview,
a rooftop party.

Haiku 8/19

Bootleg DVDs,
then a birthday kegger for
Caitlin and Joey.

Haiku 8/20

Damn "Snakes on a Plane"
bootleg stopped in the middle.
I just went to bed.

Haiku 8/21

Scared up a temp job,
dreamed that Manhattan was cool,
copped the new Outkast.

Haiku 8/22

Placing lots of calls,
asking questions about decks.
Temp it up, tempy!

Haiku 8/23

It's weird to be back
on work-run-cook-then sleep mode.
How will next week go?

Haiku 8/24

Phoning this one in
because yesterday was like
the day before it.

Haiku 8/25

Left work at two, to
try and get my head on straight.
So goddamn tired.

Haiku 8/26

Smoked a bunch of hash
then took pictures of my dick.
Yup, I suck at life.

Haiku 8/27

More shitty weather.
I did a ton of cooking,
then layed out my zine.

Haiku 8/28

Big Bank Brooklyn to
Money-makin' Manhattan -
Drinking the cheap stuff.

Haiku 8/29

Got soaked in the rain -
fuck this Noah's Ark bullshit.
Young Brothers first show.

Haiku 8/30

Biked up to Times Square.
When I got to my temp job,
I was sweaty as hell.

Haiku 8/31

I went out to dinner -
the seitan tasted like feet.
Walked home from Times Square.

Haiku 9/1

I fell on my face
while doing the Kid 'n' Play
in my living room.

Haiku 9/2

Slept in, drank coffee.
It's still raining, and so I
went out and got drunk.


Haiku 9/3

Finally sunny.
Biked around all day, drinking
and eating pizza.

Haiku 9/4

I wore myself out
on another long weekend.
Stay in to do work!

Haiku 9/5

Got a "manny" job,
taking care of a toddler.
Things are settling in.

Haiku 9/6

What's worse than waiting?
People fussing about the
line at the PO.

Haiku 9/7

We've come for art films,
learning, and satisfaction.
And we got art films.

Haiku 9/8

At my internship
we rocked Wu-Tang Clan all day,
then I bought some bourbon.

Haiku 9/9

A final beach trip.
A breezy rooftop party.
Summer's winding down.

Haiku 9/10

African drum sesh
on a backyard trampoline
on Atlantic Ave.

Haiku 9/11

If I mention it,
then all the terrorists win,
and The Post shuts up.

Haiku 9/12

Day one of sitting.
The little kid is awesome
and I'm exhausted.

Haiku 9/13

Played a real good show,
and busted out some new songs.
Joey on djembe.

Haiku 9/14

Babysat all day.
My new rap name: Han Dolo.
Got a new TV.

Haiku 9/15

Got parents in town
and bitemarks from then kid I
took care of all day.

Haiku 9/16

My parents came by,
then I went to band practice,
and ate some hot wings.

Haiku 9/17

The best bourbon is
always named after someone's
racist grandfather.

Haiku 9/18

Why does UPS
deliver at the same time
after you're not home?

Haiku 9/19

I'm more productive
when I'm busy as shit. Now
I'm REAL productive.

Haiku 9/20

Freelanced a whole bunch,
went to the grocery store,
then watched "Vacation."

Haiku 9/21

Where do mosquitos
come from when it's September?
They go TO my room...

Haiku 9/22

Does babysitting
and editing Moms make me
metrosexual?

Haiku 9/23

Went apple picking.
A van all the way upstate
rode with sixteen friends.

Haiku 9/24

The bourbon tasting
started at noon, then I got
a flat on my bike.

Haiku 9/25

It's Sharon's birthday.
Was the weird neighbor watching?
Sure as hell hope not.

Haiku 9/26

Pinkeye's almost gone.
Busted out the contacts and
got school-night loaded.

Haiku 9/27

A hangover walk
twice across the neighborhood
in the sweet fall sun.

Haiku 9/28

Had a good bike ride,
looked for the new Lemonheads,
did some voiceover.

Haiku 9/29

Pretty easy day
babysat, made some dinner,
ate lots of dessert.


Haiku 9/30

Biked up to Bushwick
got a fever, some guy tried
to steal my damn bike.

Haiku 10/1

Stayed in bed 'til one,
took a nap at seven, then
back to bed at ten.

Haiku 10/2

Ev'ry night I get
eaten up by mosquitoes.
What the fuck? It's fall!

Haiku 10/3

Got a tattoo of
an orangutan dressed up
as Dr. Watson.

Haiku 10/4

I'm stressed the hell out
working, cooking, and packing
to go see Byers.

Haiku 10/5

Some crockpot cooking,
and packing for my bus trip.
Not a lot happened.

Haiku 10/6

Up at 5 a.m.
and read a lot on the bus.
New England's killer.

Haiku 10/7

Took a nine-mile hike,
and then ate a cheeseburger.
Mancation kicks ass.

Haiku 10/8

We used to come here
in the '80s. Now I'm here
by coincidence.

Haiku 10/9

Took a final hike
to a little waterfall,
then got on the bus.

Haiku 10/10

Back babysitting,
still thinking about hiking.
This walk-up ain't shit.

Haiku 10/11

Stuck on a dark bus,
rain, at the end of the line.
Thanks for the heads up.

Haiku 10/12

The kid wouldn't nap
and I couldn't sleep last night.
What a damn headache.

Haiku 10/13

I was real sleepy
so I watched "Barbarella"
and had a big meal.

Haiku 10/14

Had some band practice,
homemade fried chicken, and then
my old friend, cheap booze.

Haiku 10/15

Oops, woke up early.
An aimless Manhattan walk,
and a huge dinner.

Haiku 10/16

Got rung up wrong and
got a free blazer that I
still couldn't afford.

Haiku 10/17

Saw some comedy.
Got singled out for some "laffs."
Women be shopping.

Haiku 10/18

When freelancing you're
rarely comfie, never bored,
and often worried.

Haiku 10/19

The day just went by,
and there's nothing wrong with that
every now and then.

Haiku 10/20

There's lots of wiggas
living in Cincinnati.
What's crackin', "8 Mile?"

Haiku 10/21

Driving through Cinci
and eating all of Cinci.
Good time, sprawl city.

Haiku 10/22

Well, drank like a champ
under the gray 'nati sky,
and conked out early.

Haiku 10/23

Dude! We got a cat!
He's gray, with blue eyes, like me.
We named his ass Carl.

Haiku 10/24

So fucking windy!
Had to pedal going down
the Manhattan Bridge.

Haiku 10/25

Peanut gallery
at the laundromat hates on
reality shows.

Haiku 10/26

It's gray and windy.
Rode my longboard to Park Slope
and did freelance work.


Haiku 10/27

After band practice
I got all wet biking home
and stayed the hell in.

Haiku 10/28

Sharon spilled her bike
and bled all on her costume.
"A dead Blues Brother."

Haiku 10/29

A perfect Sunday
with time in the park and a
ton of home cooking.

Haiku 10/30

Made a mix CD-
jams for embarrassing dads.
Don Henley, Dire Straits.

Haiku 10/31

Happy Halloween.
A night of staying up late
for no good reason.

Haiku 11/1

Rock cliche Mad Libs.
"We just came off this looooong tour!"
"Thanks for coming out!"

Haiku 11/2

Watched "East of Eden."
James Dean's way overrated.
What a crybaby.

Haiku 11/3

Saw a suit fall down
on the sidewalk in SoHo.
That shit made my day!

Haiku 11/4

Hungover as shit.
Walked to Union Square, made zines,
four-story punk show.

Haiku 11/5

Security guard
at the Jewish Museum
followed us around.

Haiku 11/6

Man, I ate a lot
of food for no good reason.
The Food Lion roars!

Haiku 11/7

Repubs lost the house.
I feel a bit less guilty
cos I didn't vote.

Haiku 11/8

Jalapeno hands
holding my contact lenses
and stinging my eyes.

Haiku 11/9

Seventy degrees?
Not wearing jackets because
global warming rocks!

Haiku 11/10

The cat hit my balls
and the kid I babysit
stepped on my tattoo.

Haiku 11/11

I, slug, ate some grease,
went to the movies, and then
stayed up late, drinking.

Haiku 11/12

Running in the rain
until my feet got soaked and
I wrung out my clothes.

Haiku 11/13

More rain and more sleep,
heating up some leftovers,
watching "CSI."

Haiku 11/14

The job you don't want
is always the first to call.
Misspelled resume.

Haiku 11/15

Fuck Cablevision!
They can't fix my internet
because theirs broke too!

Haiku 11/16

Lots of shit to do
so I'm wasting lots of time
getting nothing done.

Haiku 11/17

Shitfaced in Red Hook,
singing some karaoke
for Evan's birthday.

Haiku 11/18

The cable guy came
while I was busy puking
up water and beer.

Haiku 11/19

The classic slow day
running errands, eating brunch,
and watching cartoons.

Haiku 11/20

What a long-ass day.
Babysitting a fever
that wouldn't go nap.

Haiku 11/21

Part time and short term,
the magic words on CraigsList
when weird job hunting.

Haiku 11/22

Plenty cheeseburgers
Wondering why cool kids all
dress like Garth Algar.


Haiku 11/23

Happy Birthday, Mom.
Woke up and started cooking
then walked in the rain.

Haiku 11/24

More babysitting
and then even more eating.
What a killer rut.

Haiku 11/25

A weekend workday
makes for a weakened chill day
and a night at home.

Haiku 11/26

Until it got dark,
in the park for three hours
walking in a "Q."

Haiku 11/27

Fifty Queens cop shots
Diallo for 2K6
Bet the pigs go free.

Haiku 11/28

Plenty of biking
and ital-vital eating,
plus it never rained.

Haiku 11/29

Nearly December
and it's sixty degrees out.
Al Gore is pissed off!

Haiku 11/30

No real exercise.
57th Street's too far
for a bike commute.

Haiku 12/1

Rabbit rabbit, y'all!
Happy birthday Jeremy,
sweet surprise party.

Haiku 12/2

Cruising along, tired.
Eighteen back-to-back work days.
This is number seven.

Haiku 12/3

When you get locked out,
take a walk in Central Park
while they get the key.

Haiku 12/4

It's finally cold,
giving me an excuse to
park it in a bar.

Haiku 12/5

Didn't do jack shit,
just rode my bike in the cold
and rocked some salmon.

Haiku 12/6

Did some freelance work,
ate Vietnamese seitan,
and that's about it.

Haiku 12/7

At the mattress store
guys talk aboout "Britney's snatch,"
and play Heavy D.

Haiku 12/8

Paper Sisyphus
while these stacks of editing
replenish themselves.

Haiku 12/9

What does "faux dive" mean?
Fratboys in a basement with
eight dollar call drinks.

Haiku 12/10

First night bartending
was exhausting - Second job
I went to that day.

Haiku 12/11

Shut my eyes on foot,
seeing if I can rest while
walking to the train.

Haiku 12/12

Finally slept in,
got to take a bike ride, and
cooked a huge dinner.

Haiku 12/13

Seventeenth day straight
at one job or another.
Making up lost time.

Haiku 12/14

Jogging in the fog
and playing like I'm Frodo
on an epic quest.

Haiku 12/15

Fifty-two minutes
to walk to Houston St. from
Columbus Circle.

Haiku 12/16

Carried a toddler
and a piss-covered kickball
across Canal St.

Haiku 12/17

Bartended again.
It was all cool except for
counting out the drawer.

Haiku 12/18

Anxiety dreams
about friends eating raw meat
geting hit by cars.

Haiku 12/19

My last day of work
until well after Christmas.
Finally rest up.


Haiku 12/20

First day off all month.
Fried chicken and Christmas gifts
with my lady love.

Haiku 12/21

Up at 4:30,
losing my contact lenses
before showering.

Haiku 12/22

Slept ten plus hours.
I love that secondhand smoke,
the rain, and the car.

Haiku 12/23

There's no such thing as
a considerate smoker,
with my lungs involved.

Haiku 12/24

Took a reggae run
Hung with the kegerator
Drew dicks on my face.

Haiku 12/25

Weird conspiracy:
James Brown dies the day before
Jesus's birthday.

Haiku 12/26

Had some Terrytime,
took Sharon to Mamma Zu's,
and then to The Byrd.

Haiku 12/27

Dreamt about mole,
bad talk radio car ride,
took off on my bike.

Haiku 12/28

Didn't do jack shit,
and it felt about perfect
to sit on my ass.

Haiku 12/29

Had a big morning
acting wicked cultural,
then I got some beer.

Haiku 12/30

Rode my bike around
exchanging those xmas gifts
that don't fit my life.

Haiku 12/31

10 9 8 7
6 5 4 3 2 1 and
chocolate fondue!