Haiku 1/1
What a perfect day.
Horror movie, Mexican food,
and not too sunny.
Haiku 1/2
Japanese bootleg
video games. "Galaga"
is now "Galaza."
Haiku 1/3
Job interview time.
Bust out the ol' Gap sweater,
and tune your guitar.
Haiku 1/4
Dreamt my Dad had a
Bo Diddley guitar with a
bible stuck in it.
Haiku 1/5
Found a part-time job.
Heaven knows I'm mis'rable,
Morrissey was right!
Haiku 1/6
For veggie dumplings,
gamble on sharing tables
at New Green Bo, dude.
Haiku 1/7
This winter's alright.
I haven't worn longjohns once.
Guess I just jinxed it.
Haiku 1/8
Weekends don't mean much
when you only work ten hours
leading up to them.
Haiku 1/9
When you lie awake,
I don't suggest lingering
on past betrayals.
Haiku 1/10
I'm so productive.
I wish that this part time job
could pay the damn rent!
Haiku 1/11
Am I a slackass?
No shower, thanks to Tetris
and an ab workout.
Haiku 1/12
I'm like Sisyphus.
Spent half the day putting back
what I pulled before.
Haiku 1/13
This bar looks like if
a goth teen decorated
her parents' whole house.
Haiku 1/14
Richmond called at 10,
when I was baking cookies,
not sure what to do.
Haiku 1/15
This weekend was great.
I cooked a shitload of food
and bought a guitar.
Haiku 1/16
Sharon, you rule, girl.
Please take me to see Wu-Tang
on Valentine's Day.
Haiku 1/17
Stayed in from the show
to cook and watch "Jason X."
Hell, it was raining.
Haiku 1/18
Got a second job,
an existential nightmare
with a red pencil.
Haiku 1/19
Couldn't sleep last night.
Finished what I was reading,
and lay there, blinking.
Haiku 1/20
Both jobs, ragtime band,
my friends' punk band, bar-hopping,
all on five hours sleep.
Haiku 1/21
My band recorded,
then I went to a party.
Some girl dropped my weed.
Haiku 1/22
I spent the whole day
tripping on magic mushrooms.
I need to slow down.
Haiku 1/23
Try cooking curry
when you've got a bunch of old
veggies in your fridge.
Haiku 1/24
Hit an open mic.
Didn't talk to anyone
but the bartender.
Haiku 1/25
New downstairs neighbor
lets her smoke alarm go off
all the live long day.
Haiku 1/27
People doing coke
look like giant anteaters.
Fun party, lame drugs.
Haiku 1/28
It was so nice out,
but I was in the basement,
recording demos.
Haiku 1/29
It started to rain
when we were leaving the house.
We left anyway.
Haiku 1/30
Only had one drink,
ran three miles, had no fried food,
and feel really good.
Haiku 1/31
Played that open mic
that I talked about last week.
Biked home in the rain.
Haiku 2/1
Peach quesadillas
sure put me in a good mood.
Here's to you, black beans!
Haiku 2/2
Finish up your work,
the plane to Puerto Rico
leaves just before dawn.
Haiku 2/3
On the plane at 5
"Walk the Line" was the in-flight
Already sunburned.
Haiku 2/4
Gallos, platanos
tele en el hotele,
y ron sabroso.
Haiku 2/5
The beach in the rain
is still pretty fucking sweet.
Kinda miss veggies.
Haiku 2/6
Sacamos fotos
en un cementerio,
en un gran playa.
Haiku 2/7
Boring plane ride home,
unpacked, rocked Cody Chesnutt,
destroyed the bathroom.
Haiku 2/8
Work computer's down,
other job wants more hours,
friends in town backed out.
Haiku 2/9
Great head-butt, Jamie.
It looks like a herpes sore
on my lower lip.
Haiku 2/10
Going to Philly
to see Wu-Tang tomorrow.
36 Chambers!
Haiku 2/11
Wu-Tang in Philly,
then "Bride of Chucky" was on.
Happy birthday, Dad!
Haiku 2/12
Big fucking snowstorm!
Bus drivers still won't slow down,
but we're home on time.
Haiku 2/13
All these things to do
fill my head and keep me from
doing anything.
Haiku 2/14
V-Day was a bust.
I tried to paint the bedroom,
and Sharon was sick.
Haiku 2/15
I called in to work
so I could finish painting.
Don't tell anyone!
Haiku 2/16
I hung up some shelves.
We moved in eight months ago,
so it was high time.
Haiku 2/17
Ever just stay in
'cos you think you're getting sick,
then just get hyper?
Haiku 2/18
Ate a lot of beans
and hung with Shauna and Matt.
It was cold as fuck!
Haiku 2/19
When you cook a bunch,
try to make the bath towels
smell like fried chicken.
Haiku 2/20
Got a bad night's sleep,
treated my stomach bad, and
saw bad comedy.
Haiku 2/21
I got drunk on wine.
All Strangers played a great show
at a good potluck.
Haiku 2/22
I work from home, and
my neighbor likes reggaeton.
Callate, cono!
Haiku 2/23
In the studio
until one, working on the
All Strangers demo.
Haiku 2/24
Tacos for dinner,
hilarious bus driver,
scary cab driver.
Haiku 2/25
Tacos for breakfast,
and hung out with my parents.
Also saw Liza!
Haiku 2/26
No tacos today,
just band practice and oatmeal.
Watched "Pink Panther," too.
Haiku 2/27
Some days just go by.
Nothing funny or crappy,
just work, eat, and sleep.
Haiku 2/28
Put in my notice!
ROCK 'N' ROLL WILL NEVER DIE!
Take that, shitty job!
Haiku 3/1
Drunk guy by the store
is singing Luther Vandross
while we're walking home.
Haiku 3/2
Right after dinner,
I organized my closet
while I was all high.
Haiku 3/3
When Sharon's not home,
I cook meat and listen to
music that she hates.
Haiku 3/4
Saw The Smoking Popes,
and the Curious George flick.
Hear that? Best day ever.
Haiku 3/5
Slept in like crazy,
and got nothing done all day.
Couldn't even sleep.
Haiku 3/6
Man was I tired,
on autopilot all day.
Finished my book, though.
Haiku 3/7
Red wine marinade,
garlic mayo sauce, and a
book by Chester Himes.
Haiku 3/8
Took the day off work
because it's Sharon's spring break.
Rode our bikes around.
Haiku 3/9
Found a light up cross
by a church on Washington.
Brought it home. Creepy!
Haiku 3/10
Some nice-ass weather!
Nothing to do but drink beer!
Springtime in New York!
Haiku 3/11
Ate Veggie Castle,
walked home, biked to a soul night
at a soulless bar.
Haiku 3/12
Bad day, thanks to a
fucking allergy attack.
I hardly went out.
Haiku 3/13
I quit my dumb job
and stayed up 'til 3 mixing
the All Strangers stuff.
Haiku 3/14
My new rule of thumb:
Only go to restaurants
that fat people like.
Haiku 3/15
My temp job is doomed,
but my "Beavis and Butthead"
DVDs did come.
Haiku 3/16
Read. Push-ups. Coffee.
Work. Jog. Lunch. Laundry. More work.
DVD. Punk show.
Haiku 3/17
Finally checked out
the liquor store with the huge
rum pirate out front.
Haiku 3/18
Had to drown a mouse.
Got a tracksuit from Caitlin.
What a weird/cool day.
Haiku 3/19
Next year, my parents
are moving back to Boston.
Get outta the south!
Haiku 3/20
The post office line
was so long, my MP3
battery ran out.
Haiku 3/21
Did some temp work for
the folks I work from home for.
Then I worked at home.
Haiku 3/22
Working lots this week,
saving for when I don't work,
and I just worry.
Haiku 3/23
I worked ten hours
on one website. I think my
eyes are gonna cross.
Haiku 3/24
Whatchoo know about
a nineteen hundred dollar
tax return, sucka?
Haiku 3/25
I paced myself well.
Drank a lot of shitty beer
and secondhand smoke.
Haiku 3/26
I worked a lot, but
still had a lazy Sunday.
It's a crime not to.
Haiku 3/27
I should have changed pants.
My "work jeans" got all smoky
over the weekend.
Haiku 3/28
Yo! Thank you, Ghostface,
for dropping a fly album
right by my birthday.
Haiku 3/29
I'm twenty-seven!
Started my year clear-headed;
worked hard, exercised.
Haiku 3/30
Walked through the city,
and then I rode my longboard
through my neighborhood.
Haiku 3/31
The Westside Highway
bike path shoots up Manhattan
like spice through your tongue.
Haiku 4/1
Two trays of nachos!
This includes three bags of chips,
and four bags of cheese.
Haiku 4/2
Nachos, two new songs,
skateboarding, nice-ass weather,
Jamaican shower.
Haiku 4/3
Sat up late, reading.
And I saw Bobcat Goldthwaite
walking down Broadway.
Haiku 4/4
I crave free time, but
when I get it, why do I
just piss it away?
Haiku 4/5
There's no telling if
I'll want to be creative
when I have the time.
Haiku 4/6
Young bar folks get all
nostalgic for alt-rock songs
I'm too old to like.
Haiku 4/7
Saw The Hold Steady!
Sharon said I was the most
ethnic person there.
Haiku 4/8
Had a hangover.
I gave myself a tattoo
and had some houseguests.
Haiku 4/9
It's between winter
and the allergy season.
A grace period.
Haiku 4/10
Did you ever drink
bourbon from hollow chocolate
Easter Bunny heads?
Haiku 4/11
There's a bottle of
Remy in the food photos
at the Chinese spot.
Haiku 4/12
Celebrated our
anniversary, watching
"Reno 911."
Haiku 4/13
My sister's moving
in a neighborhood over.
I made stuffed peppers.
Haiku 4/14
Sat in traffic for
four hours and I had an
allergy attack.
Haiku 4/15
My old band played a
reunion show in Richmond.
It was really fun.
Haiku 4/16
Lost my voice last night,
and spent the afternoon in
my parents' crawlspace.
Haiku 4/17
Went to a high school,
spoke to a class about zines.
Still freaked out by jocks.
Haiku 4/18
Pervert's holding up
nudie photos from his car.
I'm on the Greyhound.
Haiku 4/19
Left my phone at work,
then returned Matt's Metrocard.
Made two trips back.
Haiku 4/20
Dude, it's four-twenty!
I cleared the bong twice before
heading off to work.
Haiku 4/21
Pulled a skater punk
up through Bed-Stuy on my bike
on my way back home.
Haiku 4/22
Felt sick and sneezy.
Got Tigerbalm in my eye,
and watched "ATL."
Haiku 4/23
When the rain let up,
we rode bikes into Crown Heights
for some ital food.
Haiku 4/24
A little-known fact:
An hour of air hockey
is really tiring.
Haiku 4/25
Lew, Drew and me jumped
the Coney Island gun. Cheap
beer's back in my life.
Haiku 4/26
I dreamed I pissed blood.
That'll sure fuck up your day.
I blame the pollen.
Haiku 4/27
Know what I'm sick of?
Sneezing! Fucking sneezing! Ugh!
I'll run out of snot!
Haiku 4/28
Bar's got weak drinks, a
four dollar photo booth, and
dress shirts. I'm leaving.
Haiku 4/29
I played music with
Kareem, Myles and Marc today.
Good times, loud guitars.
Haiku 4/30
Blugh. Sat on my ass
doing extra freelance work.
Not much to report.
Haiku 5/1
Lord, please help me stop
listening to Hall & Oates
over and over.
Haiku 5/2
Working at home is
kinda lonesome, but better
than dealing with jerks.
Haiku 5/3
Why'd it start to rain
when I was gonna go skate?
Meh, guess I'll just bike.
Haiku 5/4
Well-fed pink men say
"Fuckentwelvepackgoateeman"
in ol' Virginia.
(*for Meeo)*
Haiku 5/5
I'm a grizzly bear.
I just eat a lot of fish
and hang out alone.
Haiku 5/6
Harlem walking tour.
Saw where my grandma hung out.
It's an IHOP now.
Haiku 5/7
When you work at home,
the city is yours, but you
share on the weekend.
Haiku 5/8
Got a bunch of zines
and fell asleep reading them
on the couch at nine.
Haiku 5/9
Sharon woke me up
so there'd be a new haiku
when she got to work.
Haiku 5/10
Yes! Stuffed pepper date!
"Grandma's Boy" on DVD,
and Table Talk pies!
Haiku 5/11
Why did the cops tail
me when I was out riding
my bike in the park?
Haiku 5/12
Got gay married
to get some health insurance.
Shit's cruising along.
Haiku 5/13
Had some friends in town.
Goddamn did I eat a lot.
By "eat" I mean "drink."
Haiku 5/14
Glad I'm not used to
the hangovers anymore,
but damn do they hurt.
Haiku 5/15
With all this free time,
you'd think I'd write more than just
a haiku a day.
Haiku 5/16
Emergency room
was too busy, so we left
and bought Jack Daniel's.
Haiku 5/17
Wow, what a fun night!
Art, slider burgers, and a
German beer garden.
Haiku 5/18
I cooked four courses
and not one of them was fried!
I'm losing my touch.
Haiku 5/19
Went drinking again.
Wow, what will I think of next?
Hangovers rock ass!
Haiku 5/20
The dance party ruled!
I made the floor electric
to Miami bass.
Haiku 5/21
Slept 'til noon cos I
went to a dance party and
spilled beer on my Clark's.
Haiku 5/22
I worked, read, and cooked.
Hugel came by for a bit,
we watched "CSI."
Haiku 5/23
The glare of the sun
was so strong that I hardly
got home from the park.
Haiku 5/24
Yesterday's was "emo."
I meant that the weather's sweet,
and Prospect Park rules.
Haiku 5/25
Went to a weird show.
Made me glad I don't still tour.
My ears are ringing.
Haiku 5/26
I made a collage
of porn and religious tracts,
then drew a skater.
Haiku 5/27
Helped my sister move,
then got four drinks spilled on me
at a "dance" party.
Haiku 5/28
At a cookout, got
two sets of balls on my head
at the same damn time.
Haiku 5/29
Got hot overnight.
I cut the sleeves off some shirts,
and ditched out on socks.
Haiku 5/30
A new way to say
"Worked, took a bike ride, cooked, chilled"
would be most welcome.
Haiku 5/31
Went to see Team Dresch.
Brought back punk house memories
while they owned the stage.
Haiku 6/1
I stayed in to rest.
It was a long week of fun,
and I'm partied out.
Haiku 6/2
The sky opened up
down by Empire Boulevard.
Soaked and far from home.
Haiku 6/3
It was all rainy.
I got full of cheezburgerz,
and did some writing.
Haiku 6/4
It's good to go out
on Sunday nights. Keeps Fox shows
from taking over.
Haiku 6/5
Neighborhood kids say
"Hey mister, do a kickflip!"
when I'm out skating.
Haiku 6/6
It's 6/6/06!
Went out looking for LARPers.
Not much going on.
Haiku 6/7
I appreciate
a big dinner, a bongload,
and a few whiskeys.
Haiku 6/8
Popping pills to sleep,
fucking neighbors all outside,
radio still plays.
Haiku 6/9
This Green Day CD
is so old that the songs don't
come up on iTunes.
Haiku 6/10
I got a fever
and couldn't go see Dungen.
How shitty is that?
Haiku 6/11
I dreamt my old job
was in a high school classroom.
It made perfect sense.
Haiku 6/12
With no appetite,
I'm a shadow of myself.
I hate being sick.
Haiku 6/13
Raymond Chandler makes
me wish for a past era
I'd never live in.
Haiku 6/14
My Grandma's dying,
my job's cutting my hours,
and my new band rules.
Haiku 6/15
Slept bad, worked too much,
then saw Maceo Parker,
and all was aces.
Haiku 6/16
Extra work, the park,
a book, a margarita,
a sugar headache.
Haiku 6/17
It was overcast
and the water was freezing,
but the beach still ruled.
Haiku 6/18
It was hot as nuts
and I had the worst beershits.
Got some writing done.
Haiku 6/19
Worried about work,
'cos they're cutting back hours.
Otherwise, just chilled.
Haiku 6/20
Went to an art show.
I stood on the balcony
and watched the city.
Haiku 6/21
Fucked up resume,
still got the interview call.
This job should rule... NOT!
Haiku 6/22
A creepy dude bar,
and then to a gay punk show.
I ran the gamut.
Haiku 6/23
New England traffic,
and leaving New York traffic.
A bizarre beach town.
Haiku 6/24
Ate a Maine lobster
then panicked at the pitch-black
small town seaside night.
Haiku 6/25
Drank the hangover,
ate the leftovers, hit a
Russian barbecue.
Haiku 6/26
When it's late and drunk,
"No Parking Monday" looks like
"No Parking Sunday."
Haiku 6/27
I often miss home
when I'm on a trip. It's hard
to miss loud neighbors.
Haiku 6/28
Is it a good thing
when Wednesdays feel like Sundays?
I need some more work.
Haiku 6/29
Found a pair of shades
almost just like the sweet ones
I broke last summer.
Haiku 6/30
Ate vegan all day
and ran around the whole park.
...then I got shitfaced.
Haiku 7/1
I thought that the fruit
from the empty sangria
was fruit salad. Eww.
Haiku 7/2
At the beach I saw
Corky from "Life Goes On," and
got a sunburned chest.
Haiku 7/3
It was hot as nuts.
I went for a run, and then
played a decent show.
Haiku 7/4
People next to us
singing patriotic songs
in off harmony.
Haiku 7/5
Sent out resumes,
made stuffed peppers, wrote a bit.
Where did my day go?
Haiku 7/6
Two calls about jobs!
Fired up the slow cooker,
and stayed up too late.
Haiku 7/7
Manager asks me
to "describe your work ethnic."
I don't want the job.
Haiku 7/8
Ladies & gentlemen, people of the press, I ask you:
Which one of these two haikus should be the official Haiku of The Day for July 8th? Leave your vote as a comment...
1.
I don't see new bands,
just the reunions of bands
I liked in high school.
2.
Got doored on my bike
after hanging with Barker
at the Lifetime show.
Haiku 7/9
We biked up to Queens.
Went to an Olympic pool
and a Czech beer hall.
Haiku 7/10
I love the crockpot-
the whole apartment smells tight!
Ate a huge dinner.
Haiku 7/11
Slow cooker all day,
while I was at band practice,
and doing laundry.
Haiku 7/12
My modem's fucked up.
No "How To Tie A Tie" site
for my interview.
Haiku 7/13
Did courier work,
saw free music in the park,
and had nice houseguests.
Haiku 7/14
My friend Mike's in town.
Known him since 7th grade math,
but we get drunk now.
Haiku 7/15
Chicken and waffles,
outdoor food and Art Brut show,
Common on Fulton.
Haiku 7/16
Verrazanno toll
is like eating spicy food -
hurts more going out.
Haiku 7/17
I took three dumps, and
stepped on a little kid's hand.
He was on some stairs.
Haiku 7/18
Oppressively hot.
Stayed in doing freelance work,
took a walk at night.
Haiku 7/19
Had a band practice
in the middle of the day.
Working at home rules.
Haiku 7/20
Got a cameraphone.
The first photo that I took
was of Sharon's boobs.
Haiku 7/21
Woke up in Richmond.
It's real hot in the suburbs.
Went to Mike's wedding.
Haiku 7/22
It's hot in Richmond.
Drove from AC to AC,
even with the clouds.
Haiku 7/23
Man, fuck the Greyhound.
And the guy on his cellphone.
Fuck him too, big time.
Haiku 7/24
Did some freelance work,
signed with a temp agency,
drew a sweet wizard.
Haiku 7/25
Went for a good run -
the weather's been mercyful.
Ate some leftovers.
Haiku 7/26
I think this temp job
wants me to take a drug test.
What do I do now?
Haiku 7/27
Flight to Milwaukee.
Haven't seen Neil in three years.
Tax refund summer!
Haiku 7/28
Off the plane, to the
Black Holocaust Museum
then a Brew'ry tour.
Haiku 7/29
A creepy brownout,
foot blisters, deep-dish pizza,
Nice boobs, Chicago.
Haiku 7/30
Milwaukee sure eats.
A sunburn Sunday street fair.
Milwaukee sure drinks.
Haiku 7/31
On the plane first thing,
sore from the crooked futon.
Had a great visit.
Haiku 8/1
With the heat index,
it's as close to boiling as
it is to freezing.
Haiku 8/2
It was hot as nutz!
Had a dude date to the beach
with good ol' Joey.
Haiku 8/3
To get free healthcare,
I should have worked two hours less.
So damn frustrating.
Haiku 8/4
A triathalon!
Went running, biked to a show,
and walked to a bar.
Haiku 8/5
Going kinda broke,
then I got shortchanged five bucks.
Wound up drunk. The blues!
Haiku 8/6
Freckles on my lips
from all the sun this summer.
They look like ink stains.
Haiku 8/7
Rode to Big George's,
talked to a merchant marine
about Australia.
Haiku 8/8
It's so damn nice out,
even Wythe Ave. was pretty.
That's impossible!
Haiku 8/9
Did some freelance work,
and sent out some resumes.
Hung with Marc and Glenn.
Haiku 8/10
Donuts are hard drugs;
they seem like a fun idea,
but they just hurt you.
Haiku 8/11
I should be sleeping,
but instead I'm haikuing.
Tomorrow I'll hurt.
Haiku 8/12
Three meals of tacos.
Almost beat the hangover.
Sorta took a nap.
Haiku 8/13
I slept the hell in,
and then worked on some writing.
Get better, Sharon.
Haiku 8/14
A temp agency,
a sweet new tattoo design,
awesome comedy.
Haiku 8/15
Computer's fucked up,
what the hell else can go wrong?
It's Caitlin's birthday.
Haiku 8/16
Ravioli soup,
a couple new leads on jobs.
Not optimistic.
Haiku 8/17
Edited my zine.
I'm gonna lay it out soon.
This is exciting.
Haiku 8/18
Coffee, Hall and Oates,
run in the park, interview,
a rooftop party.
Haiku 8/19
Bootleg DVDs,
then a birthday kegger for
Caitlin and Joey.
Haiku 8/20
Damn "Snakes on a Plane"
bootleg stopped in the middle.
I just went to bed.
Haiku 8/21
Scared up a temp job,
dreamed that Manhattan was cool,
copped the new Outkast.
Haiku 8/22
Placing lots of calls,
asking questions about decks.
Temp it up, tempy!
Haiku 8/23
It's weird to be back
on work-run-cook-then sleep mode.
How will next week go?
Haiku 8/24
Phoning this one in
because yesterday was like
the day before it.
Haiku 8/25
Left work at two, to
try and get my head on straight.
So goddamn tired.
Haiku 8/26
Smoked a bunch of hash
then took pictures of my dick.
Yup, I suck at life.
Haiku 8/27
More shitty weather.
I did a ton of cooking,
then layed out my zine.
Haiku 8/28
Big Bank Brooklyn to
Money-makin' Manhattan -
Drinking the cheap stuff.
Haiku 8/29
Got soaked in the rain -
fuck this Noah's Ark bullshit.
Young Brothers first show.
Haiku 8/30
Biked up to Times Square.
When I got to my temp job,
I was sweaty as hell.
Haiku 8/31
I went out to dinner -
the seitan tasted like feet.
Walked home from Times Square.
Haiku 9/1
I fell on my face
while doing the Kid 'n' Play
in my living room.
Haiku 9/2
Slept in, drank coffee.
It's still raining, and so I
went out and got drunk.
Haiku 9/3
Finally sunny.
Biked around all day, drinking
and eating pizza.
Haiku 9/4
I wore myself out
on another long weekend.
Stay in to do work!
Haiku 9/5
Got a "manny" job,
taking care of a toddler.
Things are settling in.
Haiku 9/6
What's worse than waiting?
People fussing about the
line at the PO.
Haiku 9/7
We've come for art films,
learning, and satisfaction.
And we got art films.
Haiku 9/8
At my internship
we rocked Wu-Tang Clan all day,
then I bought some bourbon.
Haiku 9/9
A final beach trip.
A breezy rooftop party.
Summer's winding down.
Haiku 9/10
African drum sesh
on a backyard trampoline
on Atlantic Ave.
Haiku 9/11
If I mention it,
then all the terrorists win,
and The Post shuts up.
Haiku 9/12
Day one of sitting.
The little kid is awesome
and I'm exhausted.
Haiku 9/13
Played a real good show,
and busted out some new songs.
Joey on djembe.
Haiku 9/14
Babysat all day.
My new rap name: Han Dolo.
Got a new TV.
Haiku 9/15
Got parents in town
and bitemarks from then kid I
took care of all day.
Haiku 9/16
My parents came by,
then I went to band practice,
and ate some hot wings.
Haiku 9/17
The best bourbon is
always named after someone's
racist grandfather.
Haiku 9/18
Why does UPS
deliver at the same time
after you're not home?
Haiku 9/19
I'm more productive
when I'm busy as shit. Now
I'm REAL productive.
Haiku 9/20
Freelanced a whole bunch,
went to the grocery store,
then watched "Vacation."
Haiku 9/21
Where do mosquitos
come from when it's September?
They go TO my room...
Haiku 9/22
Does babysitting
and editing Moms make me
metrosexual?
Haiku 9/23
Went apple picking.
A van all the way upstate
rode with sixteen friends.
Haiku 9/24
The bourbon tasting
started at noon, then I got
a flat on my bike.
Haiku 9/25
It's Sharon's birthday.
Was the weird neighbor watching?
Sure as hell hope not.
Haiku 9/26
Pinkeye's almost gone.
Busted out the contacts and
got school-night loaded.
Haiku 9/27
A hangover walk
twice across the neighborhood
in the sweet fall sun.
Haiku 9/28
Had a good bike ride,
looked for the new Lemonheads,
did some voiceover.
Haiku 9/29
Pretty easy day
babysat, made some dinner,
ate lots of dessert.
Haiku 9/30
Biked up to Bushwick
got a fever, some guy tried
to steal my damn bike.
Haiku 10/1
Stayed in bed 'til one,
took a nap at seven, then
back to bed at ten.
Haiku 10/2
Ev'ry night I get
eaten up by mosquitoes.
What the fuck? It's fall!
Haiku 10/3
Got a tattoo of
an orangutan dressed up
as Dr. Watson.
Haiku 10/4
I'm stressed the hell out
working, cooking, and packing
to go see Byers.
Haiku 10/5
Some crockpot cooking,
and packing for my bus trip.
Not a lot happened.
Haiku 10/6
Up at 5 a.m.
and read a lot on the bus.
New England's killer.
Haiku 10/7
Took a nine-mile hike,
and then ate a cheeseburger.
Mancation kicks ass.
Haiku 10/8
We used to come here
in the '80s. Now I'm here
by coincidence.
Haiku 10/9
Took a final hike
to a little waterfall,
then got on the bus.
Haiku 10/10
Back babysitting,
still thinking about hiking.
This walk-up ain't shit.
Haiku 10/11
Stuck on a dark bus,
rain, at the end of the line.
Thanks for the heads up.
Haiku 10/12
The kid wouldn't nap
and I couldn't sleep last night.
What a damn headache.
Haiku 10/13
I was real sleepy
so I watched "Barbarella"
and had a big meal.
Haiku 10/14
Had some band practice,
homemade fried chicken, and then
my old friend, cheap booze.
Haiku 10/15
Oops, woke up early.
An aimless Manhattan walk,
and a huge dinner.
Haiku 10/16
Got rung up wrong and
got a free blazer that I
still couldn't afford.
Haiku 10/17
Saw some comedy.
Got singled out for some "laffs."
Women be shopping.
Haiku 10/18
When freelancing you're
rarely comfie, never bored,
and often worried.
Haiku 10/19
The day just went by,
and there's nothing wrong with that
every now and then.
Haiku 10/20
There's lots of wiggas
living in Cincinnati.
What's crackin', "8 Mile?"
Haiku 10/21
Driving through Cinci
and eating all of Cinci.
Good time, sprawl city.
Haiku 10/22
Well, drank like a champ
under the gray 'nati sky,
and conked out early.
Haiku 10/23
Dude! We got a cat!
He's gray, with blue eyes, like me.
We named his ass Carl.
Haiku 10/24
So fucking windy!
Had to pedal going down
the Manhattan Bridge.
Haiku 10/25
Peanut gallery
at the laundromat hates on
reality shows.
Haiku 10/26
It's gray and windy.
Rode my longboard to Park Slope
and did freelance work.
Haiku 10/27
After band practice
I got all wet biking home
and stayed the hell in.
Haiku 10/28
Sharon spilled her bike
and bled all on her costume.
"A dead Blues Brother."
Haiku 10/29
A perfect Sunday
with time in the park and a
ton of home cooking.
Haiku 10/30
Made a mix CD-
jams for embarrassing dads.
Don Henley, Dire Straits.
Haiku 10/31
Happy Halloween.
A night of staying up late
for no good reason.
Haiku 11/1
Rock cliche Mad Libs.
"We just came off this looooong tour!"
"Thanks for coming out!"
Haiku 11/2
Watched "East of Eden."
James Dean's way overrated.
What a crybaby.
Haiku 11/3
Saw a suit fall down
on the sidewalk in SoHo.
That shit made my day!
Haiku 11/4
Hungover as shit.
Walked to Union Square, made zines,
four-story punk show.
Haiku 11/5
Security guard
at the Jewish Museum
followed us around.
Haiku 11/6
Man, I ate a lot
of food for no good reason.
The Food Lion roars!
Haiku 11/7
Repubs lost the house.
I feel a bit less guilty
cos I didn't vote.
Haiku 11/8
Jalapeno hands
holding my contact lenses
and stinging my eyes.
Haiku 11/9
Seventy degrees?
Not wearing jackets because
global warming rocks!
Haiku 11/10
The cat hit my balls
and the kid I babysit
stepped on my tattoo.
Haiku 11/11
I, slug, ate some grease,
went to the movies, and then
stayed up late, drinking.
Haiku 11/12
Running in the rain
until my feet got soaked and
I wrung out my clothes.
Haiku 11/13
More rain and more sleep,
heating up some leftovers,
watching "CSI."
Haiku 11/14
The job you don't want
is always the first to call.
Misspelled resume.
Haiku 11/15
Fuck Cablevision!
They can't fix my internet
because theirs broke too!
Haiku 11/16
Lots of shit to do
so I'm wasting lots of time
getting nothing done.
Haiku 11/17
Shitfaced in Red Hook,
singing some karaoke
for Evan's birthday.
Haiku 11/18
The cable guy came
while I was busy puking
up water and beer.
Haiku 11/19
The classic slow day
running errands, eating brunch,
and watching cartoons.
Haiku 11/20
What a long-ass day.
Babysitting a fever
that wouldn't go nap.
Haiku 11/21
Part time and short term,
the magic words on CraigsList
when weird job hunting.
Haiku 11/22
Plenty cheeseburgers
Wondering why cool kids all
dress like Garth Algar.
Haiku 11/23
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Woke up and started cooking
then walked in the rain.
Haiku 11/24
More babysitting
and then even more eating.
What a killer rut.
Haiku 11/25
A weekend workday
makes for a weakened chill day
and a night at home.
Haiku 11/26
Until it got dark,
in the park for three hours
walking in a "Q."
Haiku 11/27
Fifty Queens cop shots
Diallo for 2K6
Bet the pigs go free.
Haiku 11/28
Plenty of biking
and ital-vital eating,
plus it never rained.
Haiku 11/29
Nearly December
and it's sixty degrees out.
Al Gore is pissed off!
Haiku 11/30
No real exercise.
57th Street's too far
for a bike commute.
Haiku 12/1
Rabbit rabbit, y'all!
Happy birthday Jeremy,
sweet surprise party.
Haiku 12/2
Cruising along, tired.
Eighteen back-to-back work days.
This is number seven.
Haiku 12/3
When you get locked out,
take a walk in Central Park
while they get the key.
Haiku 12/4
It's finally cold,
giving me an excuse to
park it in a bar.
Haiku 12/5
Didn't do jack shit,
just rode my bike in the cold
and rocked some salmon.
Haiku 12/6
Did some freelance work,
ate Vietnamese seitan,
and that's about it.
Haiku 12/7
At the mattress store
guys talk aboout "Britney's snatch,"
and play Heavy D.
Haiku 12/8
Paper Sisyphus
while these stacks of editing
replenish themselves.
Haiku 12/9
What does "faux dive" mean?
Fratboys in a basement with
eight dollar call drinks.
Haiku 12/10
First night bartending
was exhausting - Second job
I went to that day.
Haiku 12/11
Shut my eyes on foot,
seeing if I can rest while
walking to the train.
Haiku 12/12
Finally slept in,
got to take a bike ride, and
cooked a huge dinner.
Haiku 12/13
Seventeenth day straight
at one job or another.
Making up lost time.
Haiku 12/14
Jogging in the fog
and playing like I'm Frodo
on an epic quest.
Haiku 12/15
Fifty-two minutes
to walk to Houston St. from
Columbus Circle.
Haiku 12/16
Carried a toddler
and a piss-covered kickball
across Canal St.
Haiku 12/17
Bartended again.
It was all cool except for
counting out the drawer.
Haiku 12/18
Anxiety dreams
about friends eating raw meat
geting hit by cars.
Haiku 12/19
My last day of work
until well after Christmas.
Finally rest up.
Haiku 12/20
First day off all month.
Fried chicken and Christmas gifts
with my lady love.
Haiku 12/21
Up at 4:30,
losing my contact lenses
before showering.
Haiku 12/22
Slept ten plus hours.
I love that secondhand smoke,
the rain, and the car.
Haiku 12/23
There's no such thing as
a considerate smoker,
with my lungs involved.
Haiku 12/24
Took a reggae run
Hung with the kegerator
Drew dicks on my face.
Haiku 12/25
Weird conspiracy:
James Brown dies the day before
Jesus's birthday.
Haiku 12/26
Had some Terrytime,
took Sharon to Mamma Zu's,
and then to The Byrd.
Haiku 12/27
Dreamt about mole,
bad talk radio car ride,
took off on my bike.
Haiku 12/28
Didn't do jack shit,
and it felt about perfect
to sit on my ass.
Haiku 12/29
Had a big morning
acting wicked cultural,
then I got some beer.
Haiku 12/30
Rode my bike around
exchanging those xmas gifts
that don't fit my life.
Haiku 12/31
10 9 8 7
6 5 4 3 2 1 and
chocolate fondue!
