Saturday, February 3, 2007

On Touring Comfortably - Razorcake No. 36

I wrote an article for Razorcake called "On Touring Comfortably." It's a guide to not going too nuts on a punk rock van tour, and I tried to make it humorous and informative.

I've included an excerpt below. The actual article is about 4,000 words long. Damn!

If you like what you see, and would like to read an entire issue of what I consider to be the Don Diva of punk rock, check out for ordering info on issue number 36.

Here's the excerpt:

"Always help load the van. Don’t just carry your equipment, and don’t expect other people to carry your stuff. You’re not the only person who’s drunk, or tired, or sweaty. Your band mates will notice how you make yourself scarce when it’s load-out time, and one night you will look up from hitting on the promoter’s girlfriend, and see your equipment sitting alone on the stage, half an hour after your band stopped playing.

On a long ride, never do two things at once. Let’s say you have a book, an mp3 player, and a sandwich, and you get in the van for the day. If you spend an hour listening to music while reading and eating, you won’t be nearly where you want to be before you’re sick of your book, and your mp3 batteries have died. If you spend an hour reading, put down the book and put on your headphones for an hour, then turn off your jams and eat some lunch, you will have passed nearly three hours. It’s all about killing time, kinda like jail without the push-ups.

Speaking of getting buff in confined areas, get a handgrip. Those are things that have two small handles, and are loaded on a huge spring, so you squeeze the handles together, buffing up your forearms, and blowing off how you’re mad at your band mate for the way that they wear their earphones on the wrong ear (I promise, after a few days in the van, the fact that someone is alive will infuriate you).

Keep some flip-flops with you. Sandals do look goofy, but if you have some flip flops in the van, you can spend all day airing out your feet, then have something to throw on when you pull into a gas station, and want to maximize your snack-stealing time. Besides, Outkast rap about wearing flip flops, and everything that Outkast does is cool."

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