5-7-5/365 y'all.
Haiku 1/1/08
Started off proper,
eating good at the potluck
and biking around.
Haiku 1/2
It's windy out. Worrrd.
Work was super-mad wack. Worrrd.
Worked on grad apps. Worrrd.
Haiku 1/3
Got my new glasses
the new prescription is strong
made me off-balance.
Haiku 1/4
Weird dog licks my feet
after eating a dead mouse.
Almitra housesits.
Haiku 1/5
I'll do whatever
Sharon's doing. Except for
like, being a girl.
Haiku 1/6
A healthy balance
of jogging and deep-fried food,
green tea and liquor.
Haiku 1/7
Hail hail laundromat
with your reality shows
Game Boys and fried rice.
Haiku 1/8
Pissed off at my boss
couldn't focus afterwards
ate Korean food.
Haiku 1/9
Grad applications
polishing up my writing
and hoping real hard.
Haiku 1/10
Sat inside writing
until I got cranky and
started deleting.
Haiku 1/11
Think I'm done writing
and not soon enough, my man
driving myself nuts.
Haiku 1/12
I feel like I'm young
and living in the city.
RIP TRAVIS.
Haiku 1/13
Lil' celebration
because I sent off my first
grad application.
Haiku 1/14
Toughest thing ever:
Lifting weights in boxers while
listening to Queen.
Haiku 1/15
Bed at 9:30.
What am I? Geriatric?
Dreamed about coffee.
Haiku 1/16
The heat is broken.
Rum and spaghetti warm me
five blankets in bed.
Haiku 1/17
Life's a lot better
when you're at work for less than
half your waking hours.
Haiku 1/18
Stuck at work again
open bar compensation
makes no sense at all.
Haiku 1/19
Spent four whole hours
writing about how much I
love the Wu-Tang Clan.
Haiku 1/20
Feels like winter out
went to see Kareem and Myles
ate a meatball sub.
Haiku 1/21
Did more grad school stuff.
Prob'ly won't get in at all.
Waste a few haikus.
Haiku 1/22
Writer's group meeting!
Glad to be at it again.
Ideas already.
Haiku 1/23
Stayed home cooking up
tilapia tacos and
QT with Sharon.
Haiku 1/24
Work release party
questionable buffet food
deflicted tuna.
Haiku 1/25
There were a lot of
serial killer looking dudes
at the metal show.
Haiku 1/26
Cigarette party.
Our parents will never know
just what we're up to.
Haiku 1/27
Two longboard missions
plus a walk to the movies.
Still felt chill all day.
Haiku 1/28
Nine hours at work.
Caught attitude for leaving.
Come on grad school. Please?
Haiku 1/29
Extra hungry and
I don't know why. King fishwich,
donuts, potatoes.
Haiku 1/30
So much I can say.
Describe a scene, make jokes, or
knock out opponents.
Haiku 2/1
Stuck at work 'til 8.
Got tipsy and ordered a
Proclaimers CD.
Haiku 2/2
Caught up on reading
and started a new story.
Hardly put on pants.
Haiku 2/3
Eighth grade me's jealous;
Watching graffiti, skating,
"The Low End Theory."
Haiku 2/4
Walking to the train
full of coffee in flurries
and Mexican jazz.
Haiku 2/5
Full of leftovers
hyped up and manic all day
threatening to rain.
Haiku 2/6
Why are birds singing
with a month of winter left?
It is sixty out...
Haiku 2/7
Went to an art play
and thoroughly enjoyed it,
cos I'm cultural.
Haiku 2/8
Super lazy day
VHS tapes of stand-up
beer on the futon.
Haiku 2/9
Two gin sips away
from starting the dance party.
Three from throwing up.
Haiku 2/10
Oh, consequences.
Machiavellian payback
for Catholic juice.
Haiku 2/11
Fifteen degrees out
and the boiler is broken.
Hard times in NY.
Haiku 2/12
The heat's still broken
at least I can't see my breath
slept in a knit cap.
Haiku 2/13
Slush city nonstop
jacked up on cafe negro
fastest jog ever.
Haiku 2/14
Happy Valentine's!
Cooked like crazy for Sharon
and the heat's back on.
Haiku 2/15
Half day on the job
Chinatown bus to Boston
to walk in the wind.
Haiku 2/16
Walked around all day.
Got drunk with some knucklehead
friends from junior high.
Haiku 2/17
Dreary bus ride home
questionable buffet food
hangover sleep-off.
Haiku 2/18
If the bank is closed
then I shouldn't have to work.
Got Popeye's instead.
Haiku 2/19
It's a full moon out
I can't focus or relax.
Should be out howling.
Haiku 2/20
A lunar eclipse
seen from a windy rooftop
by the rape castle.
Haiku 2/21
Got vegan tapas
and then some beer at an old
Village speakeasy.
Haiku 2/22
Barber school haircuts
dickhead move and penishead hair
what you're paying for.
Haiku 2/23
Got the cabbie lost
with my drunk backseat driving.
My cat scratched my face.
Haiku 2/24
Walked around a lot.
Had drinks with a high school friend.
Tipsy DiGiorno.
Haiku 2/25
Life, laundry, lentils
looped the park, landed some work
lauded for rocking.
Haiku 2/26
Baked some yam biscuits
then went out for a drink.
Starting to like gin.
Haiku 2/27
Bolting for the bus
with a stomach full of food.
Belching Mexican.
Haiku 2/28
Work stacked on my desk
couldn't do street meat Thursday
settled for salad.
Haiku 2/29
Late Friday at work
compensated by drinking
with Neil and Jess.
Haiku 3/1
Got pilled the fuck up
and stood outside a nightclub
freezing my ass off.
Haiku 3/2
B65 bus.
We could have walked home and back
for all we waited.
Haiku 3/3
Guess what? It's nice out!
Guess what? I'm in an office!
I'm climate controlled!
Haiku 3/4
Psyched out about school
should be hearing back any day
scared I won't get in.
Haiku 3/5
Ran myself ragged
over the last week or so.
Premium good times.
Haiku 3/6
Wrote all day at work.
Hey, what the hell, I got paid
to be creative.
Haiku 3/7
It's Streetmeat Friday!
The hot sauce was no joke, son.
Our meat's the streetest.
Haiku 3/8
Saw an awning fall
when I was high in the rain.
City Island date.
Haiku 3/9
The Red Hook sunset
supermarket parking lot
big thing of T.P.
Haiku 3/10
Skipped a free rock show
to go and do my laundry.
What happened to me?
Haiku 3/11
Don't slack on your mack.
If you're not down with chilling
then we can't hang out.
Haiku 3/12
Cranking out this zine,
watching it come together,
eating chorizo.
Haiku 3/13
Got some freelance work
editing some filth-flarn-filth
with "sex" in the name.
Haiku 3/14
Got into grad school!
One thing - It’s in Chicago.
Tough decisions soon.
Haiku 3/15
Serious dude date
weed, cheeseburgers, daylight beer
the roof, Prospect Park.
Haiku 3/16
Dicked around the house
thinking about Chicago.
it was dreary out.
Haiku 3/17
Anti St. Patrick’s.
Cooked some Korean food and
didn’t touch a drop.
Haiku 3/18
Got a sweet tattoo
of an angler fish from Myles.
Ill shit from the depths.
Haiku 3/19
Went out with work folks
while coming down with a cold
nodding on the train.
Haiku 3/20
Went to a punk show
saw some old friends, drank whiskey
and secondhand smoked.
Haiku 3/21
Fuckin’ Equinox!
Wind just about crashed my bike
damn winter headcold.
Haiku 3/22
Stupid move alert:
Getting drunk at 5pm
to fight a headcold.
Haiku 3/23
A good tax return
biking around bugging out
nervous energy.
Haiku 3/24
Ill Italian meal
and then walked over the bridge.
New "CSI"s on!
Haiku 3/25
I’m the only March
at the office birthday bash.
They all sang to me.
Haiku 3/26
Made lots of copies
just stacking up my zines like
Lil Wayne stacks paper.
Haiku 3/27
Went to a reading
by an old family friend
for his book release.
Haiku 3/28
I left work early
because I lead a wild life
you don’t understand.
Haiku 3/29
I turned 29
had a fish fry at my place
then saw some burlesque.
Haiku 3/30
Post birthday clean-up.
Guess I’ll wipe the collard greens
off the kitchen wall.
Haiku 3/31
Hank Junior was right
about hangovers hurting
more than they used to.
Haiku 4/1
Writing Group meeting
hoping for some May flowers
soaked to the damn bone.
Haiku 4/2
Busting ass at work.
I’m going to Florida
gotta get ahead.
Haiku 4/3
Stone cold rejected
by my number one school choice.
Chicago’s looming.
Haiku 4/4
Up super early
walking dead in Florida
shuffling with the greys.
Haiku 4/5
Did some old folks stuff
and saw giraffes and cougars
in a tourist trap.
Haiku 4/6
In St. Augustine
running into an old friend
and getting rained on.
Haiku 4/7
A delayed flight home
sugary margaritas
doing freelance work.
Haiku 4/8
Tired. Recovering.
Gonna have no life this week
thanks to freelance work.
Haiku 4/9
Finally well-rested
annoyed at work, feeling my oats
gets me through the day.
Haiku 4/10
Did no work at work,
then got my tattoo shaded.
Ouch! Delirious.
Haiku 4/11
Went out to Newark
to see Sharon's video.
Ate lots of hot wings.
Haiku 4/12
A fancy party
only guy in a t-shirt
full of Manhattans.
Haiku 4/13
Topped off that freelance
and chilled for the afternoon,
relaxing my mind.
Haiku 4/14
So, uh, did laundry
and ate leftover black beans
then died in my sleep.
Haiku 4/15
Anniversary.
Four years with Sharon so far.
We got a pizza.
Haiku 4/16
Worked on some writing.
Proud of those five syllables
want to use them more.
Haiku 4/17
Beers with an old friend.
Sharon and I stayed up late
finishing "The Wire."
Haiku 4/18
Big margarita
tapping my foot on the train
sugared up my night.
Haiku 4/19
Mashed sweet potatoes
stuffed into whole wheat biscuits
served with some salmon.
Haiku 4/20
Played reggae all day
mediocre Tex-Mex food
grape Dutchmaster wrap.
Haiku 4/21
Dry cleaner is late
pushing onto the subway
meeting is canceled.
Haiku 4/22
Leftover lentils
and up late on a school night,
the week crawling by.
Haiku 4/23
Antsy at my job
leftover lentils again
what the fuck ever.
Haiku 4/24
Chilled hard all night long
fighting off my allergies
full of cheddar sauce.
Haiku 4/25
I hope those cops fry-
getting a way with murder.
Sean Bell RIP.
Haiku 4/26
Astoria train.
Spent more time on the subway
then I did hanging.
Haiku 4/27
Epic housecleaning
then went to my friend Reid's and
biked down to Coney.
Haiku 4/28
Catfish dinner jam.
A full-on nerd convention
talking about books.
Haiku 4/29
This one flew right by
full of writing and cooking
and all the big hits.
Haiku 4/30
Wicked tired, dude.
Started nodding at like ten,
couldn't hardly write.
Haiku 5/1
On a work field trip.
Rooms where they test perfume and
a vat of lipstick.
Haiku 5/2
Evening time jogging
when there's less pollen falling
makes breathing better.
Haiku 5/3
Brainworms from Richmond
played two shows in NYC.
Both were bananas.
Haiku 5/4
I got a massage
but with no funny business!
Still feel like jelly.
Haiku 5/5
It's the fifth of May.
Drank tequila before bed,
and woke up sweating.
Haiku 5/6
Ritzy beer garden
a not-ritzy area
abundant douche chills.
Haiku 5/7
It's been a fast year
sad can feel like yesterday.
Rest in peace, Z-Man.
Haiku 5/8
My tattoo's finished
It's almost in my armpit.
That shit fucking hurt!
Haiku 5/9
Ate lots of cookies
while slacking off on the job
then got high at home.
Haiku 5/10
Sharon's video
coffee'd up in the dark
watching bad ones too.
Haiku 5/11
Copied some more zines
went to "Harold and Kumar"
and cooked yam biscuits.
Haiku 5/12
Ran out of work to
go to a daylight punk show.
We need more of these.
Haiku 5/13
Sharon's out of town
so I got real macho and
saw a musical.
Haiku 5/14
Cleaning out my desk
at home knee-deep in papers
pairing down to move.
Haiku 5/15
So bored at my job
I almost want to work to do
tired of internet.
Haiku 5/16
It's a rainy night
walking to bars stumbling home
dreaming damp and slow.
Haiku 5/17
A bachelor party.
Went to bed when it was light out
closed down a strip club.
Haiku 5/18
Still pretty banged up
and just dragging ass all day.
Took some zines to stores.
Haiku 5/19
Think I got pinkeye
sure I'm sick of my job and
happy for Sharon.
Haiku 5/20
Sharon got me cake.
If you're not down wiith chilling,
then we can't hang out.
Haiku 5/21
Burned some fried chicken
made the whole apartment smell
but made my night rule.
Haiku 5/22
Possible layoffs.
If I'm fired before I quit
I'll be furious.
Haiku 5/23
Baton Rouge guest house
antebellum cinderblocks
no ancestor's screams.
Haiku 5/24
Sweating while i eat
in a barn dancing to soul
watching friends get hitched.
Haiku 5/25
Scooby Doo mansion
full of beignets and whiskey
waiting for the ghosts.
Haiku 5/26
Past Mississippi
kindly Jesus freak sculptures
by a small bayou.
Haiku 5/27
Something must be wrong.
Didn't want to leave the south,
wake from the liquor.
Haiku 5/28
Ten hours at work.
Only catching up because
they pay me hourly.
Haiku 5/29
Packing for Richmond
feel like I just left the south.
Well, eh, whatever.
Haiku 5/30
Perfect Richmond night
running my mouth, filling it
holding down the porch.
Haiku 5/31
Out seeing friends
in the heat, under storm clouds.
Get better, Nathan.
Haiku 6/1
Drove back to Brooklyn
getting passenger sunburn
sleeping through Jersey.
Haiku 6/2
Put in my notice
IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER
STABBED WITH A FREELANCE.
Haiku 6/3
Work kinda blew by.
Went out to eat with Kareem
drank beer and shot dice.
Haiku 6/4
Slept through my alarm
for a solid half hour.
Sleepy, compounded.
Haiku 6/5
Skillet mac 'n' cheese
sitting on the floor eating
getting mad primal.
Haiku 6/6
Won't focus at work
got my mind going elsewhere
psyched on the future.
Haiku 6/7
Homemade spaghetti
made a terrific mattress
for booze to sleep on.
Haiku 6/8
Sharon's last day here
chilling outside in the heat
just shocked or something.
Haiku 6/9
Getting rid of my
late '90s coffee maker.
My youth is leaving.
Haiku 6/10
Left my job early
took the train straight to the beach
and was there by two.
Haiku 6/11
I miss my Sharon.
Interviewed my replacement
the tables have turned.
Haiku 6/12
Three hour delay
on my flight to Chicago
to apartment hunt.
Haiku 6/13
Got credit info
then played wth Annie's three dogs
and crashed out early.
Haiku 6/14
I keep comparing
Chicago, Brooklyn, Boston.
It gets confusing.
Haiku 6/15
Flight delayed a bit
endless buses and trains home
my own bed felt good.
Haiku 6/16
Packing some boxes
watching a Chevy Chase flick
hanging with the cat.
Haiku 6/17
Packed all my CDs
then my iPod got erased.
No Wu 'til July.
Haiku 6/18
Pizza and beer session
catching buses to and from
tuned out loud neighbors.
Haiku 6/19
Successor training.
I keep saying "Whatever,"
"It doesn't matter."
Haiku 6/20
Last day at my job.
Skipped dinner, drank until one
didn't get misty.
Haiku 6/21
Wake 'n' bake beach trip
Manhattan enchiladas
nap plus ten hours.
Haiku 6/22
Packed up some more stuff
rained like crazy for a bit
made homemade pizza.
Haiku 6/23
Packed boxes all day.
Tacos with TN and Kat
drowned in tequila.
Haiku 6/24
Put things in boxes.
Put rain on my new sneakers.
Put beer in my mouth.
Haiku 6/25
Sold a ton of books
and then, guess what I did?
I packed some boxes!
Haiku 6/26
Almost done packing.
Wish I had two big boxes
for the random shit.
Haiku 6/27
Ate lots of chicken
and got the itis real bad.
Cured it with coffee.
Haiku 6/28
Sharon's back in town!
Guess what we did? Packed a lot!
And plotted ill shit.
Haiku 6/29
Last day in Brooklyn.
Got rained on at the beach and
went to bed early.
Haiku 6/30
Loaded up the truck
full of boxes and dressers.
Another gray hair.
Haiku 7/1
Got apartment keys,
spent obscene amounts of cash
on food and housewares.
Haiku 7/2
Caught up on some dumps
then jogged down to the lakefront.
Went to bed at 10.
Haiku 7/3
Beer, nachos for lunch.
Sorting out bills and bullshit
weird time difference.
Haiku 7/4
Caved on hot dogs and
biked during fireworks, ducking
stray bottlerockets.
Haiku 7/5
Redpath is in town.
Ate way too much vegan food
my ass paid the price.
Haiku 7/6
Last night for sleeping
on a big pile of blankets.
Moving tomorrow.
Haiku 7/7
Drove the moving truck.
Packed the fucking moving truck.
Filled the apartment.
Haiku 7/8
Unpacked a whole bunch.
And freeballed the whole day long-
even while jogging!
Haiku 7/9
Missed New York a bit
after some temp interviews,
pouting on the train.
Haiku 7/10
Decent interview
toaster oven iron chef
took a reggae jog.
Haiku 7/11
Met some new classmates.
"Married...With Children" fountain
across from my school.
Haiku 7/12
Slip 'n' slide party.
Backyard with a cheeseburger
trying barrel rolls.
Haiku 7/13
Just rested my dogs.
Getting back into biking
is rad but painful.
Haiku 7/14
Got the stove turned on
worked on a little writing
saw a metal show.
Haiku 7/15
Queasy hangover
interview with a midget
losing my damn mind.
Haiku 7/16
Did lots of writing
then winged and made dinner.
It came out awesome.
Haiku 7/17
Fruitful interview.
Got trial days...in August.
Then went to the lake.
Haiku 7/18
Got called in to work
made my first Chicago bucks.
Stayed in broke at night.
Haiku 7/19
Middle aged white dudes
are driving convertibles
all through Chicago.
Haiku 7/20
Caught a chill last night
biking home in the downpour.
Rested up and read.
Haiku 7/21
Hardly left the house.
Dicked around online, half-dressed
and read a whole lot.
Haiku 7/22
Oh the irony.
Reading on insomnia
when sleep's not coming.
Haiku 7/23
Dropped off resumes
at some coffee shops as if
I was still nineteen.
Haiku 7/24
Hung stuff on my walls,
ate five dollar burgers and
played guitars with Seth.
Haiku 7/25
Suburban cookout.
Got drunk, then Neil came to town-
got me drunk again!
Haiku 7/26
Walked with friends in town.
Sweating out the hangover,
full of Elvis toast.
Haiku 7/27
Assorted household
responsiblities and
fun obligations.
Haiku 7/28
Temp job moving files.
It's about as exciting
as you'd imagine.
Haiku 7/29
Moving files again.
Like "American Splendor"
without cool drawings.
Haiku 7/30
Finished my temp job
microwave exploded breakfast
paper cut, sharted.
Haiku 7/31
Feel sick and run down.
Bullshitting around the house
resting up and stuff.
Haiku 8/1
One month in The Chi.
Realized while walking to work.
Things are looking up.
Haiku 8/2
Biked down to the lake
and expected salt water.
Didn't get sticky.
Haiku 8/3
Went to a cookout.
It had an above-ground pool
and pepper poppers.
Haiku 8/4
Siobhan came to town
during the worst thunderstorm.
Sharon's windshield cracked.
Haiku 8/5
Woke up with pinkeye
got lost on my way downtown
they closed the lake beach.
Haiku 8/6
After housecleaning
I went up to the suburbs
to drink sangria.
Haiku 8/7
Actually worked
a full eight hour work day.
I'd do that again.
Haiku 8/8
Recruiter meeting.
Just like the eight other ones.
Papers, promises.
Haiku 8/9
Went to a punk fest
hung like sweat in a basement,
beer in an alley
Haiku 8/10
Made food, took a nap
saw the Meat Puppets outside
and This Is My Fist.
Haiku 8/11
Did some dog walking
lazy through the river park
with a bag of shit.
Haiku 8/12
Worked on some writing
then fucked off all afternoon
and into the night.
Haiku 8/13
The nice little things
my toothpaste was two-for-one
I'm an old man now.
Haiku 8/14
Worked nine-plus hours
walked to some crazy park and
saw some free free jazz.
Haiku 8/15
My sister is in
Hawaii, eloping and
turning twenty-six.
Haiku 8/16
Omelette with sausage
and cauliflower, collards,
fried chicken, taters.
Haiku 8/17
The lake, a punk show.
Crammed in lots of relaxing.
It totally worked.
Haiku 8/18
Worked all day and then
not on the schedule again
until September.
Haiku 8/19
Worked on my writing
until I couldn't see straight,
then read for a while.
Haiku 8/20
Took a long bike ride
to do touristy stuff
downtown in the day.
Haiku 8/21
Making the best of
all these empty afternoons.
Saw outsider art.
Haiku 8/22
Drank some tequila
and smelled a house burning down
then missed the bus home.
Haiku 8/23
Registered for school
pitbull on a trampoline
fire in the lawn.
Haiku 8/24
Ate some eggs and then
went to the lake for a sec.
Topped it off with shrimp.
Haiku 8/25
Sat around broke, bored
feeling sorry for myself,
then saw jazz for free.
Haiku 8/26
Temping for the day.
Supervisor left at three
and I chilled 'til five.
Haiku 8/27
Sold clothes and CDs
ate some leftover meatballs
worked on some writing.
Haiku 8/28
Twelve hour temp gig
helping Niketown swooshbags
go run a 10K.
Haiku 8/29
Overslept big time
and almost missed my flight to
my sister's wedding.
Haiku 8/30
A tasteful take on
a casual reception,
plus hot wing platter.
Haiku 8/31
Hit the Rockaways.
Real beaches have salt water
and loud reggaeton.
Haiku 9/1
No sweat on the flight.
Was greeted at home by a
huge student loan check.
Haiku 9/1
No sweat on the flight.
Was greeted at home by a
huge student loan check.
Haiku 9/2
Long live Nathan Joyce.
You had me convinced you were
gonna beat cancer.
Haiku 9/3
Second day of school.
I'm going wigger this year
so I wore JNCos.
Haiku 9/4
Back to school equals
reintroducing homework
into my schedule.
Haiku 9/5
Night of wandering
to a southside art opening
eating Chinese trays.
Haiku 9/6
Got a new kitten
and he likes our other cat
more than he's liked back.
Haiku 9/7
K-Mart wild goose chase
watching my afternoon fade
blow off coffee steam.
Haiku 9/8
The new kitten's sick
and shitting on both couches.
Not sure about this.
Haiku 9/9
Got woke up by a
screaming 5 a.m. kitten.
He's at the vet now.
Haiku 9/10
Burped eggs while running
then drank too much coffee and
ate Mexican food.
Haiku 9/11
Proofreading then school
didn't see Sharon awake
cat games on the floor.
Haiku 9/12
Got my bike fixed up.
Rain like a motherfucker
kept me from riding.
Haiku 9/13
Housewarming party
lots of beer and fried chicken
and rain seeping in.
Haiku 9/14
Pretty hungover.
Proud to say I can't drink like
I used to back when.
Haiku 9/15
Went to a reading
then worked on my own writing.
No arithmetic.
Haiku 9/16
Ran a few errands,
looking for excuses to
be out in the warmth.
Haiku 9/17
The kitten's farting
and it smells like death and worms
crawling at my feet.
Haiku 9/18
Made a shepherd's pie
and managed to stay awake
through my third night class.
Haiku 9/19
Saw Dillinger 4.
Felt like I was in high school
but in a good way.
Haiku 9/20
Relaxed in the cut
happy because my new zine
got a good review.
Haiku 9/21
Secondhand smoke coughs
singled out for comedy
in the cold A.C.
Haiku 9/22
Got cabin fever
felt strangely on edge all day
was unproductive.
Haiku 9/23
Freelance file's fucked.
On hold with AT+T
for forty minutes.
Haiku 9/24
Ate too much sugar
and woke up feeling my teeth
worn out from grinding.
Haiku 9/25
It's Sharon's birthday!
And I've got work and then class.
Some boyfriend I am.
Haiku 9/26
Slow freelance work day
doing homework at my desk
waiting for the night.
Haiku 9/27
Peanut butter pie
afternoon walking around
Sharon's birthday drinks.
Haiku 9/28
Just felt kinda off
like I wanted to sleep more
but get some shit done.
Haiku 9/29
Drunk couple dancing
knocks into me at Nick Cave.
Gum thrown in her purse.
Haiku 9/30
L'shanah tovah!
Sharon was off work so we
ate deep dish pizza.
Haiku 10/1
Still full from pizza
afternoon doing writing
registered to vote.
Haiku 10/2
Drank plenty root beer
while doing all my homework
and biking to class.
Haiku 10/3
Wrong side of the bed
waiting for late freelance work
getting bit by cats.
Haiku 10/4
Mike Birbiglia.
Neurotic younger brother
doing comedy.
Haiku 10/5
Firm stance against brunch,
but enjoyed that omelette
and extra coffee.
Haiku 10/6
Offered coffee work.
The hours would be shitty
but I can't say no.
Haiku 10/7
Caught in the downpour
soaking my shoes before class
and eating Wendy's.
Haiku 10/8
Doing some freelance
for the "Uncle Buck" high school
out in the suburbs.
Haiku 10/9
Feeling pretty burnt
packing for a weekend trip
involving hot tubs.
Haiku 10/10
Real friendly freelance
a hot tub that won't turn off
bourbon on the floor.
Haiku 10/11
Checked out Madison
ducking fratboys pre-gaming
swinging sledgehammers.
Haiku 10/12
Back to Chicago
could it be feeling like home?
Been here just three months.
Haiku 10/13
Back to the boring
biking out for groceries
cleaning off my desk.
Haiku 10/14
Epic bike flat tire
bumping people on the train
schlepping it back home.
Haiku 10/15
Fucked up Sharon's bike
while out to buy a new bag
cause my old one broke.
Haiku 10/16
More bike debacle
schlepping them both on the train
cyclist Calvary.
Haiku 10/17
Done with the bike shit
ate loads of Mexican food
home in a hail storm.
Haiku 10/18
Longboard flannel jam
root beer-fueled "Gleaming the Cube"
skating A to B.
Haiku 10/19
Spilling ginger ale
on my kitchen floor, eating
skillet mac and cheese.
Haiku 10/20
You can see your breath
on your first venture outside
in the afternoon.
Haiku 10/21
And the heat comes on
hissing and clanking, warning
of winter to come.
Haiku 10/22
Still acclimating
to the Chicago accent
and stifling chuckles.
Haiku 10/23
The first day from hell
would have been tolerable
if asleep by nine.
Haiku 10/24
Freelance day was sweet.
Got paid to see The Mekons
play at a high school.
Haiku 10/25
Went to two parties
fueling my engine with beer
pizza and cupcakes.
Haiku 10/26
Went to the punk shop
and got a Misfits shirt to
wear on Halloween.
Haiku 10/27
Coffeeshop training
I'm totally regressing
twenty one again.
Haiku 10/28
More coffeeshop time
forgot how the smell of grounds
lingers on clothing.
Haiku 10/29
Craving fried chicken
surfing the slow internet
instead of working.
Haiku 10/30
Just going non-stop
from work to homework to school
warehouse bike ride home.
Haiku 10/31
Seth really turned green
so we skipped the party and
ate heaps of fried shrimp.
Haiku 11/1
Drove to Milwaukee.
The sexiest outlet mall
is on the way home.
Haiku 11/2
Computer all day
procrastinating, clicking
going stir crazy.
Haiku 11/3
Finished this freelance
rid of my mental block had
a writing breakthrough.
Haiku 11/4
Up at dawn to vote.
Amazed this is happening
it feels like a dream.
Haiku 11/5
Obama eclipsed
by Jamie Ewing's passing.
Died young, living hard.
Haiku 11/6
Spent all day working
burying my nose in books
covering my thoughts.
Haiku 11/7
Proofread, marked, erased
drew shots, steamed milk, brewed coffee
swept, mopped, wiped...tacos.
Haiku 11/8
Showtime's car got hit
after we had girl's night out
in the wet, raw wind.
Haiku 11/9
Hungover hot mess
listless, useless, slow-going
craving some more sleep.
Haiku 11/10
Amy tattooed me.
The needle kept hitting nerves
making my leg jump.
Haiku 11/11
Once I left the house
it had already got dark
but the rain let up.
Haiku 11/12
Late to the party
and all my friends are wasted
sums up pop culture.
Haiku 11/13
Did lots of writing
that's what I go to school for
and that's what I love.
Haiku 11/14
Got through closing shift
with fried chicken and lotion.
Drank with my classmates.
Haiku 11/15
Saw Bill Cosby with
casino human wreckage.
Still really funny.
Haiku 11/16
Saw video art
on radical history
here in Chicago.
Haiku 11/17
Winter beard day two.
Already leaving slug trails
up in them pantiez.
Haiku 11/18
Drank lots of coffee
walked through my dark neighborhood
ready for winter?
Haiku 11/19
Wind-related names
like "Breezeburg" or "Gustytown"
would do this town well.
Haiku 11/20
Feeling burnt on school
can't focus on my homework
ready for Christmas.
Haiku 11/21
Stupid yuppies talk
about their trip to Ireland
and real estate, natch.
Haiku 11/22
The punk show was cold
security loved their job
the drinks were pricey.
Haiku 11/23
My mom is sixty
her and my Dad are jobless
and I'm worrying.
Haiku 11/24
Back-to-back wing nights.
What the hell was I thinking?
Green tar in the john.
Haiku 11/25
Feeling real restless
need to get some more work done
if I could focus.
Haiku 11/26
Thinking about school
trying too hard to relax
stressing myself out.
Haiku 11/27
Colossal dairy
legendary red jug wine
gigantic stomach.
Haiku 11/28
I wish there was an
military recruiter
at this punk rock bar.
Haiku 11/29
If you mess with me
I'll put clumps of cat litter
in your whiskey cup.
Haiku 11/30
Almost finished with
the Thanksgiving leftovers.
Getting sick of cheese.
Haiku 12/1
Spent the afternoon
watching the city freeze over,
icicles stopping.
Haiku 12/2
Thirteen years ago
my high school punk band played a
battle of the bands.
Haiku 12/3
What a kick-ass day!
Super inspired writing
and Sharon was home.
Haiku 12/4
Long proofreading test.
Grouchy because I'm used to
getting paid for that.
Haiku 12/5
Suburban trek for
Italian beef sandwiches,
freezing train platforms.
Haiku 12/6
Jogging in the snow
procrastinating finals
yuppie pizza jam.
Haiku 12/7
When I go running
it's like recess in grade school
but at double speed.
Haiku 12/8
Coffee job stressing
keep getting petty critiques
"Close like a rock star?!"
Haiku 12/9
Dive bar down by school.
And so much for not drinking on
weeknights after class.
Haiku 12/10
Boiled over shit.
That's how bad sleep makes you feel
after three straight days.
Haiku 12/11
Last day of classes
but I declare fuckery
'cos I still have work.
Haiku 12/12
Wanted to party
fell asleep before midnight
but it sure felt good.
Haiku 12/13
My Grandmother died
and my Dad called it the best
Christmas present yet.
Haiku 12/14
Too much relaxing
balanced out all the homework
and feel full of beer.
Haiku 12/15
Some more sleeping in
making lists of things to do
but not doing them.
Haiku 12/16
On-the-ball returns
productivity is up
checking my lists twice.
Haiku 12/17
Sharon’s gifts to me
are all Wu-Tang Clan approved.
Chess, pull-up bar, soul..
Haiku 12/18
Played guitar at home
forgetting the neighbors and
their shit house music.
Haiku 12/19
Sneaking suspicion
I won't have coffee shop shifts
starting in January.
Haiku 12/20
Rent-a-car fuckers
closed their branch at the airport,
cancelled our rental.
Haiku 12/21
Whole time in the car
on the year's dark, shortest day
the sun going down.
Haiku 12/22
Hanging in Richmond
seeing family and friends.
Had missed the East Coast.
Haiku 12/23
Played out acoustic
for the first time in two years
and had a great time.
Haiku 12/24
It's good to see you.
Yes, it's cold in Chicago
and I'm loving school.
Haiku 12/25
Making drunk snacks and
set off the smoke alarm at
two in the morning.
Haiku 12/26
In the car all day
without visibility
because of the fog.
Haiku 12/27
So fucking sleepy
I spent all day just waiting
to go back to bed.
Haiku 12/28
Crapped away the day
then worked at the coffee shop
where it was real slow.
Haiku 12/29
At two different jobs
jumping right back in after
going out of town.
Haiku 12/30
Made a huge dinner
fell asleep watching "Cosby"
dreamed about Rudy.
Haiku 12/31
When the night includes
bottle rockets, Jack Daniels
and a joint, it's great.
Showing posts with label haikus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label haikus. Show all posts
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Haiku Diary - June 2008
Haiku 6/1
Drove back to Brooklyn
getting passenger sunburn
sleeping through Jersey.
Haiku 6/2
Put in my notice
IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER
STABBED WITH A FREELANCE.
Haiku 6/3
Work kinda blew by.
Went out to eat with Kareem
drank beer and shot dice.
Haiku 6/4
Slept through my alarm
for a solid half hour.
Sleepy, compounded.
Haiku 6/5
Skillet mac 'n' cheese
sitting on the floor eating
getting mad primal.
Haiku 6/6
Won't focus at work
got my mind going elsewhere
psyched on the future.
Haiku 6/7
Homemade spaghetti
made a terrific mattress
for booze to sleep on.
Haiku 6/8
Sharon's last day here
chilling outside in the heat
just shocked or something.
Haiku 6/9
Getting rid of my
late '90s coffee maker.
My youth is leaving.
Haiku 6/10
Left my job early
took the train straight to the beach
and was there by two.
Haiku 6/11
I miss my Sharon.
Interviewed my replacement
the tables have turned.
Haiku 6/12
Three hour delay
on my flight to Chicago
to apartment hunt.
Haiku 6/13
Got credit info
then played wth Annie's three dogs
and crashed out early.
Haiku 6/14
I keep comparing
Chicago, Brooklyn, Boston.
It gets confusing.
Haiku 6/15
Flight delayed a bit
endless buses and trains home
my own bed felt good.
Haiku 6/16
Packing some boxes
watching a Chevy Chase flick
hanging with the cat.
Haiku 6/17
Packed all my CDs
then my iPod got erased.
No Wu 'til July.
Haiku 6/18
Pizza and beer session
catching buses to and from
tuned out loud neighbors.
Haiku 6/19
Successor training.
I keep saying "Whatever,"
"It doesn't matter."
Haiku 6/20
Last day at my job.
Skipped dinner, drank until one
didn't get misty.
Haiku 6/21
Wake 'n' bake beach trip
Manhattan enchiladas
nap plus ten hours.
Haiku 6/22
Packed up some more stuff
rained like crazy for a bit
made homemade pizza.
Haiku 6/23
Packed boxes all day.
Tacos with TN and Kat
drowned in tequila.
Haiku 6/24
Put things in boxes.
Put rain on my new sneakers.
Put beer in my mouth.
Haiku 6/25
Sold a ton of books
and then, guess what I did?
I packed some boxes!
Haiku 6/26
Almost done packing.
Wish I had two big boxes
for the random shit.
Haiku 6/27
Ate lots of chicken
and got the itis real bad.
Cured it with coffee.
Haiku 6/28
Sharon's back in town!
Guess what we did? Packed a lot!
And plotted ill shit.
Haiku 6/29
Last day in Brooklyn.
Got rained on at the beach and
went to bed early.
Haiku 6/30
Loaded up the truck
full of boxes and dressers.
Another gray hair.
Drove back to Brooklyn
getting passenger sunburn
sleeping through Jersey.
Haiku 6/2
Put in my notice
IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER
STABBED WITH A FREELANCE.
Haiku 6/3
Work kinda blew by.
Went out to eat with Kareem
drank beer and shot dice.
Haiku 6/4
Slept through my alarm
for a solid half hour.
Sleepy, compounded.
Haiku 6/5
Skillet mac 'n' cheese
sitting on the floor eating
getting mad primal.
Haiku 6/6
Won't focus at work
got my mind going elsewhere
psyched on the future.
Haiku 6/7
Homemade spaghetti
made a terrific mattress
for booze to sleep on.
Haiku 6/8
Sharon's last day here
chilling outside in the heat
just shocked or something.
Haiku 6/9
Getting rid of my
late '90s coffee maker.
My youth is leaving.
Haiku 6/10
Left my job early
took the train straight to the beach
and was there by two.
Haiku 6/11
I miss my Sharon.
Interviewed my replacement
the tables have turned.
Haiku 6/12
Three hour delay
on my flight to Chicago
to apartment hunt.
Haiku 6/13
Got credit info
then played wth Annie's three dogs
and crashed out early.
Haiku 6/14
I keep comparing
Chicago, Brooklyn, Boston.
It gets confusing.
Haiku 6/15
Flight delayed a bit
endless buses and trains home
my own bed felt good.
Haiku 6/16
Packing some boxes
watching a Chevy Chase flick
hanging with the cat.
Haiku 6/17
Packed all my CDs
then my iPod got erased.
No Wu 'til July.
Haiku 6/18
Pizza and beer session
catching buses to and from
tuned out loud neighbors.
Haiku 6/19
Successor training.
I keep saying "Whatever,"
"It doesn't matter."
Haiku 6/20
Last day at my job.
Skipped dinner, drank until one
didn't get misty.
Haiku 6/21
Wake 'n' bake beach trip
Manhattan enchiladas
nap plus ten hours.
Haiku 6/22
Packed up some more stuff
rained like crazy for a bit
made homemade pizza.
Haiku 6/23
Packed boxes all day.
Tacos with TN and Kat
drowned in tequila.
Haiku 6/24
Put things in boxes.
Put rain on my new sneakers.
Put beer in my mouth.
Haiku 6/25
Sold a ton of books
and then, guess what I did?
I packed some boxes!
Haiku 6/26
Almost done packing.
Wish I had two big boxes
for the random shit.
Haiku 6/27
Ate lots of chicken
and got the itis real bad.
Cured it with coffee.
Haiku 6/28
Sharon's back in town!
Guess what we did? Packed a lot!
And plotted ill shit.
Haiku 6/29
Last day in Brooklyn.
Got rained on at the beach and
went to bed early.
Haiku 6/30
Loaded up the truck
full of boxes and dressers.
Another gray hair.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Haiku Diary - April 2008
You did a half-assed job, maaaaan...
Haiku 4/1
Writing Group meeting
hoping for some May flowers
soaked to the damn bone.
Haiku 4/2
Busting ass at work.
I’m going to Florida
gotta get ahead.
Haiku 4/3
Stone cold rejected
by my number one school choice.
Chicago’s looming.
Haiku 4/4
Up super early
walking dead in Florida
shuffling with the greys.
Haiku 4/5
Did some old folks stuff
and saw giraffes and cougars
in a tourist trap.
Haiku 4/6
In St. Augustine
running into an old friend
and getting rained on.
Haiku 4/7
A delayed flight home
sugary margaritas
doing freelance work.
Haiku 4/8
Tired. Recovering.
Gonna have no life this week
thanks to freelance work.
Haiku 4/9
Finally well-rested
annoyed at work, feeling my oats
gets me through the day.
Haiku 4/10
Did no work at work,
then got my tattoo shaded.
Ouch! Delirious.
Haiku 4/11
Went out to Newark
to see Sharon's video.
Ate lots of hot wings.
Haiku 4/12
A fancy party
only guy in a t-shirt
full of Manhattans.
Haiku 4/13
Topped off that freelance
and chilled for the afternoon,
relaxing my mind.
Haiku 4/14
So, uh, did laundry
and ate leftover black beans
then died in my sleep.
Haiku 4/15
Anniversary.
Four years with Sharon so far.
We got a pizza.
Haiku 4/16
Worked on some writing.
Proud of those five syllables
want to use them more.
Haiku 4/17
Beers with an old friend.
Sharon and I stayed up late
finishing "The Wire."
Haiku 4/18
Big margarita
tapping my foot on the train
sugared up my night.
Haiku 4/19
Mashed sweet potatoes
stuffed into whole wheat biscuits
served with some salmon.
Haiku 4/20
Played reggae all day
mediocre Tex-Mex food
grape Dutchmaster wrap.
Haiku 4/21
Dry cleaner is late
pushing onto the subway
meeting is canceled.
Haiku 4/22
Leftover lentils
and up late on a school night,
the week crawling by.
Haiku 4/23
Antsy at my job
leftover lentils again
what the fuck ever.
Haiku 4/24
Chilled hard all night long
fighting off my allergies
full of cheddar sauce.
Haiku 4/25
I hope those cops fry-
getting a way with murder.
Sean Bell RIP.
Haiku 4/26
Astoria train.
Spent more time on the subway
then I did hanging.
Haiku 4/27
Epic housecleaning
then went to my friend Reid's and
biked down to Coney.
Haiku 4/28
Catfish dinner jam.
A full-on nerd convention
talking about books.
Haiku 4/29
This one flew right by
full of writing and cooking
and all the big hits.
Haiku 4/30
Wicked tired, dude.
Started nodding at like ten,
couldn't hardly write.
Haiku 4/1
Writing Group meeting
hoping for some May flowers
soaked to the damn bone.
Haiku 4/2
Busting ass at work.
I’m going to Florida
gotta get ahead.
Haiku 4/3
Stone cold rejected
by my number one school choice.
Chicago’s looming.
Haiku 4/4
Up super early
walking dead in Florida
shuffling with the greys.
Haiku 4/5
Did some old folks stuff
and saw giraffes and cougars
in a tourist trap.
Haiku 4/6
In St. Augustine
running into an old friend
and getting rained on.
Haiku 4/7
A delayed flight home
sugary margaritas
doing freelance work.
Haiku 4/8
Tired. Recovering.
Gonna have no life this week
thanks to freelance work.
Haiku 4/9
Finally well-rested
annoyed at work, feeling my oats
gets me through the day.
Haiku 4/10
Did no work at work,
then got my tattoo shaded.
Ouch! Delirious.
Haiku 4/11
Went out to Newark
to see Sharon's video.
Ate lots of hot wings.
Haiku 4/12
A fancy party
only guy in a t-shirt
full of Manhattans.
Haiku 4/13
Topped off that freelance
and chilled for the afternoon,
relaxing my mind.
Haiku 4/14
So, uh, did laundry
and ate leftover black beans
then died in my sleep.
Haiku 4/15
Anniversary.
Four years with Sharon so far.
We got a pizza.
Haiku 4/16
Worked on some writing.
Proud of those five syllables
want to use them more.
Haiku 4/17
Beers with an old friend.
Sharon and I stayed up late
finishing "The Wire."
Haiku 4/18
Big margarita
tapping my foot on the train
sugared up my night.
Haiku 4/19
Mashed sweet potatoes
stuffed into whole wheat biscuits
served with some salmon.
Haiku 4/20
Played reggae all day
mediocre Tex-Mex food
grape Dutchmaster wrap.
Haiku 4/21
Dry cleaner is late
pushing onto the subway
meeting is canceled.
Haiku 4/22
Leftover lentils
and up late on a school night,
the week crawling by.
Haiku 4/23
Antsy at my job
leftover lentils again
what the fuck ever.
Haiku 4/24
Chilled hard all night long
fighting off my allergies
full of cheddar sauce.
Haiku 4/25
I hope those cops fry-
getting a way with murder.
Sean Bell RIP.
Haiku 4/26
Astoria train.
Spent more time on the subway
then I did hanging.
Haiku 4/27
Epic housecleaning
then went to my friend Reid's and
biked down to Coney.
Haiku 4/28
Catfish dinner jam.
A full-on nerd convention
talking about books.
Haiku 4/29
This one flew right by
full of writing and cooking
and all the big hits.
Haiku 4/30
Wicked tired, dude.
Started nodding at like ten,
couldn't hardly write.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
2007 Haiku Diary
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hurl...
Haiku 1/1
Woke up to dim sum.
Sleepy day, a sleepy day.
My friend Lew's in town.
Haiku 1/2
Hung with an old friend.
He doesn't like Less Than Jake
like back in high school.
Haiku 1/3
Finished some reading
went to Veggie Castle with some friends
then I did laundry.
Haiku 1/4
So hungry all day.
Full of cheap beer and new tats,
alone on the bridge,
Haiku 1/5
Got a second flat
on my way to the air pump
to fix my first flat.
Haiku 1/6
Cold lampin' all day.
Three meals of Mexican food
watching "Serpico."
Haiku 1/7
Got drunk closing up.
Biked home in the pouring rain.
Boy did I get wet!
Haiku 1/8
Job hunting morning,
then slacking all afternoon -
dude time with Joey.
Haiku 1/9
Food's always better
when it's stuffed into more food
and topped with some cheese.
Haiku 1/10
Dumb job interview.
I've been down on shit lately.
Need better focus.
Haiku 1/11
Shards of broken glass
in a gob of mayonnaise
wiping off my hand.
Haiku 1/12
Bean pies in Bed-Stuy
job leads and that collie weed
gray skies for these guys.
Haiku 1/13
Afternoon inside
listening to some records
before Manhattan.
Haiku 1/14
Shoot me in the face!
I had quite the hangover
and I worked 'til four.
Haiku 1/15
Martin wanted peace,
so I won't whoop my neighbor
for their loud music.
Haiku 1/16
Got an interview
for the perfect freelance gig.
Well, come on, cosmos!
Haiku 1/17
Sugar mouth all day
from fake-puking condensed milk
for a photo shoot.
Haiku 1/18
Giving up seitan.
A fun-crusher four-flusher
will do that to ya.
Haiku 1/19
It's flat tire Friday!
Everything's tiring me out,
nothing's going on.
Haiku 1/20
Fighting off a cold,
so I worked on some writing,
hearing the wind blow.
Haiku 1/21
It sure is winter.
I've been waiting to say that
for a good long while.
Haiku 1/22
Last night's burrito,
bacon egg and cheese, tuna,
broccoli fried rice.
Haiku 1/23
Pretty easy day
and a sorta restless night,
up and down the stairs.
Haiku 1/24
Utility days
are when you spend all your time
taking care of bull.
Haiku 1/25
Now it's pretty cold
and I made the same dinner
as the night before.
Haiku 1/26
Byers came to town
on the coldest New York day
since '03 or so.
Haiku 1/27
Went running with Jeff
and then walked around all day.
My feet hurt like hell.
Haiku 1/28
Fuck it whatever
Jesus Christ and motherfuck
Goddamn it to hell.
Haiku 1/29
Got some Razorcakes
with an article I wrote.
I'll send one to Mom!
Haiku 1/30
All week leads up to
tomorrow's job interview.
Can't think beyond it.
Haiku 1/31
Had an interview
for a job I'd really like,
and not just for rent.
Haiku 2/1
Been a bit depressed,
acting unmotivated,
not sure what to do.
Haiku 2/2
Went to a wine bar,
felt out of my element,
then quit complaining.
Haiku 2/3
Jonathan Richman
What an excellent showman
By all means, see him
Haiku 2/4
Barfing through my nose
old enough to know better
kinda embarrassed.
Haiku 2/5
Didn't get the job
that I'd been stressing about.
Whatever. Their loss.
Haiku 2/6
Fighting off a cold
in the February cold
while job leads turn cold.
Haiku 2/7
The fucking heat broke
Had dinner guests on the way
I made a huge meal.
Haiku 2/8
Walked around a bunch,
and had my first physical
in about four years.
Haiku 2/9
Jogging in the wind
losing feeling in my nose
wearing four layers.
Haiku 2/10
Neil and Jess are here!
We can walk around and eat
both at the same time.
Haiku 2/11
Chicken and waffles.
I wanna base my life on
chicken and waffles.
Haiku 2/12
Hung with a toddler.
"CSI: Miami’s on.
What's my life come to?
Haiku 2/13
Think I've got pinkeye.
Staring at some proofreading;
man, this temp job blows!
Haiku 2/14
Ophthalmologist
Trudging, dilated pupils
New York ice and snow.
Haiku 2/15
Worked for an hour,
took my first piss test ever.
Futility strikes!
Haiku 2/16
It was a T day!
Temping, Twin Peaks, Third Ave. Traipse
and Tofu Tacos.
Haiku 2/17
A fucking slushfest.
We're overrun with gray slop
and homemade pizza.
Haiku 2/18
Bartended real late,
dreading temping tomorrow,
but loving pancakes.
Haiku 2/19
Super tired day.
Running on three hours sleep,
oatmeal and bagels.
Haiku 2/20
Chillin' with a book,
getting paid to sit and read,
slackest temp gig yet.
Haiku 2/21
Made a rad chow mein
and didn't do that much else.
I guess that's OK.
Haiku 2/22
Been on a Kinks kick,
reminded of boomboxing
my porch in high school.
Haiku 2/23
Ten-hour workday,
ton of bagels and pizza,
saw The Lemonheads.
Haiku 2/24
Saw the "Reno" flick
with a crew of ten people,
laughing like crazy.
Haiku 2/25
Drank too much coffee,
a great winter antidote,
for cabin fever.
Haiku 2/26
Thought I'd get more done,
but just ate lots of chicken
and rode the subway.
Haiku 2/27
Kinda jumpy day.
Standing instead of sitting.
Is sugar to blame?
Haiku 2/28
Caitlin's moving van
had a dead battery and
wouldn't start back up.
Haiku 3/1
Getting out of bed,
spending the whole day waiting
to go back to bed
Haiku 3/2
This job recruiter
swears more than Richard Pryor
and works for Avon.
Haiku 3/3
Hard rockin' all day!
Band practice, guitar alone,
then a hardcore show.
Haiku 3/4
Ate tons of tofu.
Sharon's video art show
while I bartended.
Haiku 3/5
Hardly left the house,
did some cooking and cleaning,
went through my old clothes.
Haiku 3/6
Worked on some writing.
Actually kinda bored
Went out for Tex-Mex.
Haiku 3/7
Had an interview
and a double cheeseburger
to balance it out.
Haiku 3/8
Sell-out job proof test
taken on a desk marked with
graffiti ideals.
Haiku 3/9
Friday night at the
"Birthplace of Rollerdisco."
Poured one for Biggie.
Haiku 3/10
I saw a cyclist
run a light and hurt someone.
Good day until then.
Haiku 3/11
An excellent day.
Skateboard mission in the park
and breakfast nachos.
Haiku 3/12
Slept away the day,
hardly left the fucking house,
feel like a damn blob.
Haiku 3/13
Petite mal seizure
Six-hour hospital wait
Should've just stayed home.
Haiku 3/14
Slept 'til 4pm,
wondering what's up with me,
calling the doctor.
Haiku 3/15
Sleep schedule's still fucked.
Fancy benefit dinner
for my sister's job.
Haiku 3/16
DJ Wintry Mix
was up in the cut, so I
stayed at home, dancing.
Haiku 3/17
Errands in the slush
just like islands in the stream.
Did some Irish stuff.
Haiku 3/18
Slushtown, U.S.A.
Having some coffee and eggs,
and getting fresh air.
Haiku 3/19
Just ice cold lampin'.
Wonderin' what's happenin'.
Killin' time and feelin' fine.
Haiku 3/20
Bike ride to Harlem,
windy all the way uptown.
Soul food steamer tray.
Haiku 3/21
The first day of spring,
my first day at a new job.
Such fresh beginnings!
Haiku 3/22
Train to Bensonhurst
for a cancelled appointment.
Fuck Dr. Rocco!
Haiku 3/23
All day proofreading
copy about foundation,
lip gloss, eyeliner.
Haiku 3/24
Made seven pizzas
all day for my birthday jam.
Fed them to my friends.
Haiku 3/25
Did that crappy thing
where I woke up hungover
at dawn, by mistake.
Haiku 3/26
Lots of new music!
Took a walk to sort it out.
Headphones, Union Square.
Haiku 3/27
It's spring's first warm day
In and out of the house, just
sweating out Thai food.
Haiku 3/28
It's Epilepsy
if you have multiple seizures
that are unexplained.
Haiku 3/29
I'm twenty-eight now,
filling myself with fried fish,
starting a new job.
Haiku 3/30
Didn't do fuck all
but spend some tax return cash
and make mushroom soup.
Haiku 3/31
Sharon's outta town.
Total bro-fest at the crib,
just me and the cat.
Haiku 4/1
Life story tellers
had a boring convention
while I bartended.
Haiku 4/2
Atlanta zing wings
three week old baby nephew
delirious tired.
Haiku 4/3
We can blame hot wings
for what happened this morning
on the thundermug.
Haiku 4/4
Ate some barbecue,
hung with the little nephew,
lousy plane ride home.
Haiku 4/5
Back at New York speed,
blowing through the city and
landing freelance jobs.
Haiku 4/6
Two job interviews,
a little babysitting.
Tired out by night.
Haiku 4/7
Running around town
like I don't even live here,
acting cultural.
Haiku 4/8
Watched couples make out
while I stood behind the bar
counting down last call.
Haiku 4/9
Not quite rested up,
sitting nodding at my desk.
A cat in the sun.
Haiku 4/10
Went to two doctors
who were both running behind
so it was no prob.
Haiku 4/11
Dicking 'round online,
a slow day at the office.
American dream?
Haiku 4/12
Spring rain, just like douche
flushed the city through the day,
causing discomfort.
Haiku 4/13
Anniversary!
We've been together three years!
Don't get sick of me!
Haiku 4/14
Always stay up late
when you plan on resting up.
Theremin party.
Haiku 4/15
Bus ride in the rain.
Blues - Can you make the train talk?
Hey secondhand smoke.
Haiku 4/16
A discography
of my high school hardcore band
is now in the works.
Haiku 4/17
Got super tired,
got drunk for a second wind,
couldn't trick myself.
Haiku 4/18
Bus back to New York.
Nothing profound crossed my mind.
Had fun in Richmond.
Haiku 4/19
Cheeseburger party
at Joey's spot in Bed-Stuy.
Grease your blues away.
Haiku 4/20
Tired and grouchy.
Is it allergy season?
Am I getting sick?
Haiku 4/21
Aimless wandering
through the nicest day so far
wearing my tea shades.
Haiku 4/22
Catching up on sleep
from this week-long tear I had.
Enjoying freedom.
Haiku 4/23
Spent the day outside.
Start a new job tomorrow,
desking all summer.
Haiku 4/24
First day on the job
was busy in a good way.
Think I can handle.
Haiku 4/25
One job in the day,
another job in the night.
Ninety-nine cent Coors.
Haiku 4/26
Twelve hour work day.
Won't have time to spend the cash
that is coming in.
Haiku 4/27
Ate lots of tacos
because life is hardly life
without some tacos.
Haiku 4/28
Spent all day outside
except when I was sleeping
or watching "Twin Peaks."
Haiku 4/29
Where else but Target
can I find shower curtains?
Thanks monoculture.
Haiku 4/30
Have to act busy
even with no work to do.
Beware. Manager.
Haiku 5/1
Packed myself three meals.
Fueling my all-day work-day
with those Tupperwares.
Haiku 5/2
Quit my dumb ol' band
We were stagnant for too long
Hope they aren't too pissed.
Haiku 5/3
Just got two paychecks.
Reminded why I do these
twelve-hour work days.
Haiku 5/4
Art show at a church.
Thought I was open-minded-
Jesus is creepy.
Haiku 5/5
Ted Leo brings it!
Bartender fucked up my tab,
so I got some shots.
Haiku 5/6
Had a shitty brunch
then some delicious pizza
to balance it out.
Haiku 5/7
All loved Jonny Z.
Now we'll keep on loving him
while we miss him, too.
Haiku 5/8
Everyone knew him
and if they didn't like him,
they loved him instead.
Haiku 5/9
Funeral plans came.
Being sad is exhausting.
Couldn't get to sleep.
Haiku 5/10
Missed the barbecue
but there was beer left over
at my evening job.
Haiku 5/11
Tired and stressed out.
Went to a reggae concert,
and laid my blues down.
Haiku 5/12
It's good to see you,
but wish I didn't have to.
Funeral in town.
Haiku 5/13
Crossing Virginia.
Parents' houses, health food stores
and funeral homes.
Haiku 5/14
Jonny's funeral.
Take-out Mexican, drive home.
Jonny's funeral.
Haiku 5/15
In the New York swing.
Having some crunch time this week
going out of town.
Haiku 5/16
A slow day at work,
and packing in the evening.
Puerto Rico bound.
Haiku 5/17
Nap all afternoon
drink some Puerto Rican coffee
try to sleep that night.
Haiku 5/18
Walk through Old San Juan
and try not to imagine
pirates being there.
Haiku 5/19
I don't know why but
"Parents Just Don't Understand"
is stuck in my head.
Haiku 5/20
Read "Dune" on the beach
only wearing sunglasses.
Ate lots of hot wings.
Haiku 5/21
Vieques ferry
scratching at all my sunburn
watching the seagulls.
Haiku 5/22
Airport clusterfuck
and crazy San Juan traffic
made it hard to leave.
Haiku 5/23
I went back to work,
cooked some ravioli soup
and went out skating.
Haiku 5/24
Drunk across the street
locked out of his place, shouting
into his buzzer.
Haiku 5/25
A friend from Richmond
bartends at a whiskey bar.
That shit got ugly.
Haiku 5/26
Hit up Brighton Beach
water was so cold it hurt
bike on the subway.
Haiku 5/27
Cleaned my apartment
for the entire afternoon,
then watched three "Twin Peaks."
Haiku 5/28
Marinating food,
a rooftop and a backyard.
It's all for soldiers!
Haiku 5/29
So hooked on "Twin Peaks."
I stayed up late watching it.
Gonna be tired.
Haiku 5/30
The zombie movie
made me scared to ride my bike
through the park at night.
Haiku 5/31
Work's by the subway.
I don't breathe Manhattan air
on many workdays.
Haiku 6/1
Finally hot out.
Read The Onion site at work,
then ate lots of rice.
Haiku 6/2
Super duper hot
and my parents were up here.
Mom made ill brownies.
Haiku 6/3
Bottled my homebrew,
ate lots of cheap Chinese food,
listened to records.
Haiku 6/4
Got zines in the mail,
ate leftover Chinese food,
did some damn laundry.
Haiku 6/5
So-so day at work,
tired for no good reason.
Went for a bike ride.
Haiku 6/6
Another bad sleep.
Zoned out all day on the job
then got cheezeburgerz.
Haiku 6/7
The "Twin Peaks" pilot.
Can someone lend it to me?
I have to see it.
Haiku 6/8
Flew to Chicago,
then drove down to Milwaukee.
Neil's getting married!
Haiku 6/9
Brewery wedding.
Congratulations Neil and Jess-
You're married, I'm drunk.
Haiku 6/10
Booze taste in my mouth,
Hollandaise sauce on my eggs,
plane back to New York.
Haiku 6/11
Five of the last ten
weekends were spent out of town.
What a crazy spring.
Haiku 6/12
The cats woke me up
so I was groggy all day,
cursing them felines.
Haiku 6/13
Work flew right on by,
the train home came right away,
I cooked paella.
Haiku 6/14
Scared my homebrew's flat.
Went to Prospect Park and saw
The Neville Brothers.
Haiku 6/15
Rode my bike around.
All is cool when you're going
to a Blowfly show.
Haiku 6/16
Central thunderstorm
at the Television show,
margarita full.
Haiku 6/17
Rock rock Rockaway
that's where I spent my whole day.
So lean back, lean back.
Haiku 6/18
Made a vegan meal
ate it with my vegan friends
went to vegan sleep.
Haiku 6/19
Worn out and tired,
on autopilot all day
while work was stressful.
Haiku 6/20
Went home after work,
had some Terrytime and
an ice cream soda.
Haiku 6/21
Sharon's video
got projected at a bar.
Lots of people came.
Haiku 6/22
Kinda hungover
headachy all day at work.
My friend Mike's in town.
Haiku 6/23
Crappy and sleepy.
It's Mike and Ryan's birthdays,
and I cooked alllll day.
Haiku 6/24
Pizza for breakfast,
biking home and then jogging.
Bro triathlon.
Haiku 6/25
Work as usual,
ate leftovers, did laundry.
Pretty boring day.
Haiku 6/26
Middle of the road
Italian ristorante,
I'm dusting the crops.
Haiku 6/27
Running in the park
felt like I was swimming laps.
Thanks, humidity.
Haiku 6/28
Humid city swims
boozehound's howl, barflies buzzing
food delivers late.
Haiku 6/29
I can't win at work.
Stay ahead and I miss stuff,
thorough and I'm late.
Haiku 6/30
Make crockpot chili
ate lots of crockpot chili.
Leftover chili.
Haiku 7/1
A skateboard mission
all the way across Bed-Stuy.
"Son! Do a ollie!"
Haiku 7/2
Hiding in the tub.
Hissing at me, on the john.
I’m the catsitter.
Haiku 7/3
Got an eye exam.
The proofreader needs glasses!
The writer can't read!
Haiku 7/4
Meat cooked with fire.
Happy Birthday U.S.A.
We're still evolving.
Haiku 7/5
Oh Lord, what's that smell?
Left some weed in my wallet
from last night's get-down.
Haiku 7/6
Rockaway house show.
Lost in Queens for two hours
seeing LL's hood.
Haiku 7/7
Steve Ritt was in town.
See hippies, New York's not bad.
Just go to the park!
Haiku 7/8
Ninety-plus degrees
spent the day at Brighton Beach
didn't do much else.
Haiku 7/9
Slow at work today.
Didn't slack constructively.
Answered some emails.
Haiku 7/10
The humidity
on the streets is swimmable,
the sky is orange.
Haiku 7/11
It's performance art
if you pour stuff on your head
and I hate the crowd.
Haiku 7/12
Helped move a futon
right after I went running.
Got it all sweaty.
Haiku 7/13
Drove down to Philly
after work, eating cheese fries,
saw Jorge and Janelle.
Haiku 7/14
Hit the Jersey Shore,
saw Richmond friends in Philly
and stayed up too late.
Haiku 7/15
Philadelphia,
the city where it's still cool
to be a wigga.
Haiku 7/16
Walked the bridge with Jeff
then ate a fly curry that
made me forget work.
Haiku 7/17
Got a summer cold
sneezed away the sunny day
and coughed 'til nighttime.
Haiku 7/18
Stayed home sick from work,
but Sharon got a new job!
Hooray for Sharon!
Haiku 7/19
Annoying work day,
stuffed my damn face at Zaytoon's,
humid-ass bike ride.
Haiku 7/20
Worked for ten hours!
But then saw Odetta play.
She made it better.
Haiku 7/21
Two birthday parties
biking around like a fool
sunburning my face.
Haiku 7/22
Hit Fire Island.
Now my face is on fire...
...FROM A BAD SUNBURN!
Haiku 7/23
Ravioli soup
pissing rain through the morning
cleaning the backroom.
Haiku 7/24
Went to visit the
kids I used to babysit.
Stressed for no reason.
Haiku 7/25
Doctor's appointment,
'cos I'm changing health insurance.
Some saw comedy.
Haiku 7/26
Asshole mechanics
kept me up half of last night
with paint fumes and noise.
Haiku 7/27
Heading for Richmond
reading that Harry Potter
flying friendly skies.
Haiku 7/28
Jonny Z tattoo.
He's been gone for near three months,
it's there forever.
Haiku 7/29
The flight home's cancelled.
It's pissing rain, I'm sweaty.
Looks like I'm stuck here.
Haiku 7/30
Up at 4 a.m.
Flight to N.Y., train to work.
Super long commute.
Haiku 7/31
Sleepy at my desk.
Went and did laundry later.
Are you bored also?
Haiku 8/1
Sat up late reading
and casting Chinese food spells.
Harry Potter rules!
Haiku 8/2
Last day on the job
Sharon cut her leg open
cleaning out her desk.
Haiku 8/3
Stayed in after work.
Sharon made dinner and I
wrote a short story.
Haiku 8/4
Hot as balls out there!
Everyone stopped making sense
by 9:30 or so.
Haiku 8/5
Opened my third eye.
Summer of Love exhibit
then Simpsons movie.
Haiku 8/6
Stuck at work 'til 7
Did a whole bunch of cooking
Worked on a story
Haiku 8/7
A punk rock sauna
A house show in hot weather
Airborne, topless drunks
Haiku 8/8
The train tracks flooded
hottest day of the summer
walked to Manhattan.
Haiku 8/9
Whole lot of nothing.
Burrito acid reflux.
Pack for New England.
Haiku 8/10
Grilled frozen pizza,
mussels, lobster, fish, salad,
corn on the cob.
Haiku 8/11
Drunk friends from grade school
motorboat to a sandbar
meteor shower.
Haiku 8/12
Looking at the bay.
I'll be at my desk at work
in twenty hours?!
Haiku 8/13
Ate lots of cupcakes
Chilled at home for the evening,
drawing a comic.
Haiku 8/14
No revelations..
Just some reading and cooking.
Amy stayed with us.
Haiku 8/15
My sister's birthday!
Drank some Guinness, gave her a
Simpsons DVD.
Haiku 8/16
Saxophone douchebag
practices upstairs at night.
Dolphy? Try DON'Tphy!
Haiku 8/17
Drunk right after work.
Got stuffed on Mexican food.
Slowed up the whole night.
Haiku 8/18
Reached a fitness goal;
looping the park twice, jogging.
Took phatty bonghits.
Haiku 8/19
Overcast beach trip
Rain on the bus ride back home.
Slow going Sunday.
Haiku 8/20
Awesome or boring:
Going to bed all early,
staying in weeknights.
Haiku 8/21
Work was slow again,
plus, another day of rain.
Drank beer with Kareem.
Haiku 8/22
Art film opening.
Ocean of skinny, stubbly
tall guys in blazers.
Haiku 8/23
Laundry after work,
baked potatoes for dinner.
Whooptie fucking do.
Haiku 8/24
Running after work
then biking off to a bar.
Dense humidity.
Haiku 8/25
Mosquito bite path
gold sun passing overhead
sandy shoe dune walk
Haiku 8/26
Biked to Brighton Beach.
Wet ass on a bike seat chafes
while I ride back home.
Haiku 8/27
Worked on some drawing
to add some worth to my day;
balance out Target.
Haiku 8/28
Went to the movies
and the movie was sold out
so we had some drinks.
Haiku 8/29
Drew a few pictures
and then fell the hell asleep,
having scary dreams.
Haiku 8/30
It's Joey's birthday!
Variety of liquors
sloshing in my gut.
Haiku 8/31
No complaints today,
but nothing awesome either.
So it goes, sometimes.
Haiku 9/1
September beach trip.
Going as much as I can
before it's too cold.
Haiku 9/2
Cut off all my hair.
No more getting dapped up by
Rastas on the bus.
Haiku 9/3
Went to the parade,
stuffed my face with jerk chicken
and smoked too much pot.
Haiku 9/4
Hit Junior's for an
orange freeze ice cream soda.
Goodnight, sugar high.
Haiku 9/5
I cleaned the kitchen!
'twas poetry in motion!
Mop pentameter!
Haiku 9/6
Worked on a new song.
Rode my bike to Williamsburg
and hung out up there.
Haiku 9/7
Drove down to D.C.
Got to Tom and Hope's real late.
Work was weak, also.
Haiku 9/8
Drunk uncle get-down
at Sharon's cousin's wedding.
Hey, Macarena!
Haiku 9/9
Bank info stolen.
Rear-ended leaving D.C.
Skipped lunch, got nauseous.
Haiku 9/10
Went to a punk show.
Faces across a dark room;
old friends, older friends.
Haiku 9/11
Cooked a ton of soup
and took it easy at home,
working on a zine.
Haiku 9/12
Faux hawk: New mullet?
We'll crack jokes and bag on them
in just a few years.
Haiku 9/13
Hasids call my bluff
and run with me in the park
blowing horns, blessing.
Haiku 9/14
Carne asada
99 bottles of beer
4 a.m. bathroom.
Haiku 9/15
Cab horn woke me up
clear skies at Coney Island
out of it all day.
Haiku 9/16
Hung with my parents
walking around Manhattan
at tourist cruise speed.
Haiku 9/17
Mom made us a quilt
crazy Day of the Dead art
and pillows to match.
Haiku 9/18
Went for a fast jog.
Balanced the exercise with
a badass burger.
Haiku 9/19
Early work meeting
mosquitoes all through the night
free beer opening.
Haiku 9/20
6 a.m. jogging.
Napping under my desk by
about 3 p.m.
Haiku 9/21
Left from work early
drank too much cheap liquor at
a comedy show.
Haiku 9/22
Yes! Sinus problems!
Too rainy for the beach! Rad!
Stayed up late! Awesome!
Haiku 9/23
Guy at the drugstore
is shouting about how he
needs Valtrex, TONIGHT!
Haiku 9/24
My meds aren't covered
by my new insurance. Had
another seizure.
Haiku 9/25
Saw some comedy
after my new writing class.
It's Sharon's birthday!
Haiku 9/26
Insurance problems
catch 22's, debacles.
Move to Canada.
Haiku 9/27
Work's been pretty sweet
'cos the boss is out of town.
The stress level drops!
Haiku 9/28
Work was slack again.
Didn't do jack shit after.
Still beat from Monday.
Haiku 9/29
Sharon's birthday jam!
Air hockey, ping-pong and pool.
Liquor, beer and weed.
Haiku 9/30
Super fun houseguests
walking off the hangover
drinking papaya.
Haiku 10/1
I baked some cookies
and then I ate the cookies.
I'm full of cookies.
Haiku 10/2
Mind-mushingly slow
all of Wikipedia
desk, apathy, fucked.
Haiku 10/3
Working on writing
when I should be proofreading.
American dream!
Haiku 10/4
Worked on more writing.
It made my brain move too fast
and I couldn't sleep.
Haiku 10/5
Went to see The Blow.
She owned it alone on stage
under purple lights.
Haiku 10/6
Soul food feast, buddy.
Adam from Boston's in town,
watching "Mr. Show."
Haiku 10/7
Cop on a Segue,
my MP3 player broke...
...but the Red Sox won!
Haiku 10/8
Stupid lunch meeting.
Give me some benefits if
the corp's doing well.
Haiku 10/9
Twenty degree drop
became fall during the day
manic temperature.
Haiku 10/10
Jiggity jogging
almost barfed in my damn mouth
it's wicked humid.
Haiku 10/11
For the last two weeks,
quiet before the torrent.
Makeup catalogs.
Haiku 10/12
GRE study.
My memory failed me, I'm
even worse at math.
Haiku 10/13
Took the GRE.
Went to a sweaters-only
backyard barbecue.
Haiku 10/14
Went to Queens. Got lost.
That seems to happen every time.
Rad Chinese food, though.
Haiku 10/15
Stayed in, just writing.
The Shaolin and the Wu-Tang
could be dangerous.
Haiku 10/16
Feeling better now.
Making up for lost sleeping
bit by mosquitoes.
Haiku 10/17
Cuban food for lunch,
Mexican food for dinner.
Lots of pork. Sorry.
Haiku 10/18
Shitfoot incident.
Kicked out of the litter box.
Guess who stepped in it?
Haiku 10/19
Frustration, whiskey,
dry burger with wet weather,
secondhand trifling.
Haiku 10/20
Went to Hoboken.
It was more like "Broboken,"
but, hey, something new...
Haiku 10/21
Goddamn teenagers
on the stoop across the street
kept me up 'til 4.
Haiku 10/22
Life is best with a
big-ass map of Africa
in the living room.
Haiku 10/23
After work had a
patty melt but no gator belt
before writing class.
Haiku 10/24
Cooked up Hoppin' John.
It had rained all day and it
wasn't eighty out.
Haiku 10/25
Leftovers, gnomesane?
F.I.T.A. busy day,
with full moon fever.
Haiku 10/26
Drove to the Catskills,
dark road in the pissing rain.
Can't see the mountains.
Haiku 10/27
Grown up hippie town
still raining, kinda dreaming
real ghosts in my sleep.
Haiku 10/28
Red Sox sweep World Series.
Not so mad at Bill Buckner
after all of this.
Haiku 10/29
Show at a canal
watching it from a drawbridge
old friends across water.
Haiku 10/30
Workshopped my writing
and got a bunch of ideas
to edit that shit.
Haiku 10/31
Running before dark
to avoid getting egged by
some DAMN TEENAGERS.
Haiku 11/1
These DAMN TEENAGERS
tried to jump Sharon and I
but we scared them off!
Haiku 11/2
Day of the Dead, the
night ended at a gay bar
right near the projects.
Haiku 11/3
Sharon's parents came.
Ate tostadas, fish and chips,
and of course, pizza.
Haiku 11/4
Dying to go to
Brooklyn College for grad school.
But will they take me?
Haiku 11/5
The cat doesn't know
that it's daylight savings time
so he wakes us up.
Haiku 11/6
Got all sugared up
at a grad school open house.
Somehow lost my voice.
Haiku 11/7
Drawing at my desk.
Not letting my mind stagnate
while it's slow at work.
Haiku 11/8
Average good day:
Mexican food for dinner
and slow on the job.
Haiku 11/9
Sharon bought me gifts
which I had to carry home.
Jesus did that too.
Haiku 11/10
Lazy Saturday
never exerted my mind
went to bed early.
Haiku 11/11
Homemade granola
powered me over the bridge
on a skateboard jam.
Haiku 11/12
Totally over
this dark-before-I-leave-work
newfangled bullshit.
Haiku 11/13
Busy day at work,
Korean food, writing class.
The day flew right by.
Haiku 11/14
Raw food for dinner.
At an art show watching the
douchebag last supper.
Haiku 11/15
Back to some writing
trying to edit old stuff
totally confused.
Haiku 11/16
In my head all day
singing falsetto at work.
Justin Timberlake.
Haiku 11/17
Cooked so much soul food.
Drank energy drinks for a
dance party 'til 3.
Haiku 11/18
Pancake celebrate!
Woke up with no hangover;
magic is at work.
Haiku 11/19
The park is empty
if you run after work now,
more space than New York.
Haiku 11/20
Blew out the afro,
looking like Art Garfunkel
mixed with The RZA.
Haiku 11/21
Worked on a comic
then got some story ideas
and made pumpkin soup.
Haiku 11/22
A vegan potluck
and then a Philipino
pig roast in Bed-Stuy.
Haiku 11/23
Wrote through the day then
saw Crispin Glover's slide show
and his new movie.
Haiku 11/24
Ate too much pizza
went to a Brooklyn beard bar
ran into China.
Haiku 11/25
Edited stories
all day with an afro pick
crockpot blackeye peas.
Haiku 11/26
Ate a lot of beans
finished reading "Wind Up Bird"
and watched "CSI."
Haiku 11/27
Dude with warm-up pants,
girl says she lies about age.
Watching their blind date.
Haiku 11/28
Basic grown man stuff
Shit like jogging and laundry
took up my whole night.
Haiku 11/29
Hot sauce in my beer
and tilapia tacos
burning through the night.
Haiku 11/30
Joked around at work.
Kinda weird to admit it,
but I like my job.
Haiku 12/1
Yuletide jammings with
egg nog like marshmallow fluff
and a one-hitter.
Haiku 12/2
Worked on some drawing.
If you're not down with chilling
then we can't hang out.
Haiku 12/3
Could hardly get up.
Just dead on my feet all day
dead in my brain, too.
Haiku 12/4
My last writing class.
They all liked my new story,
then we went for drinks.
Haiku 12/5
Pissed and understaffed
doing yoga on the phone
baking potatoes.
Haiku 12/6
Running on black ice
and crunching through snowy grass
just in a hoodie.
Haiku 12/7
Tired as fuck, yo.
Cooked up some fish, stayed in
watching "Boogie Nights."
Haiku 12/8
Handled some B.I.
like the barber shop and a
whole lot of nothing.
Haiku 12/9
Neighborhood walking,
not sure if I "get" Daft Punk.
Fish fry with soul sides.
Haiku 12/10
Crowded A.M. train
back to back, an old lady
farted on my leg.
Haiku 12/11
Three hour meeting!
Sitting for longer than a
"Lord of the Rings" flick!
Haiku 12/12
Restless at my desk
full of holiday cookies.
Nothing exciting.
Haiku 12/13
The snow didn't stick
neither did the hale or rain.
Dark in the morning.
Haiku 12/14
The party got hype
when I spilled guacamole
on my Adidas.
Haiku 12/15
All day on my feet
walking across the canal
sleeting heading home.
Haiku 12/16
Oh noes! Sharon's sick!
Did some crap around the house
had pizza for lunch.
Haiku 12/17
Tofu, broccoli
the laundromat, the baby
the mama, the cell...
Haiku 12/18
Free rum and hot wings
at this holiday party
where Sharon teaches.
Haiku 12/19
Work Christmas party.
Corona in the daytime,
catching a headcold.
Haiku 12/20
Made homemade pizza
for Christmas dinner and then
we exchanged presents.
Haiku 12/21
Tired and sneezing
stuck at work later than planned
packing for VA.
Haiku 12/22
AmTrak with a cold
Penn Station wait - train delay
my sister's engaged.
Haiku 12/23
Burt Reynolds nightmare
woke me up at 6 a.m.
Shut the fuck up, Mom.
Haiku 12/24
Recorded three songs
with my old friend Jonathan
and ate eighteen wings.
Haiku 12/25
Jesus enchiladas
birthday bourbon and Bud Lite
HOLY HANGOVER.
Haiku 12/26
Got back on the train
cooked a healthy meal for once
went to bed early.
Haiku 12/27
First day back at work.
The good times were a-rollin'!
It's a wild ride, y'all.
Haiku 12/28
Ever notice how
the people with the least soul
wear Triple Five Soul?
Haiku 12/29
IMax planet crash
scaring a nearby toddler.
"Cosmic Collisions."
Haiku 12/30
Breakfast nachos, dude.
Vegetarian toppings
burping that garlic.
Haiku 12/31
The year ended well
with ping-pong, tacos and some
scotch that smelled like fire.
Haiku 1/1
Woke up to dim sum.
Sleepy day, a sleepy day.
My friend Lew's in town.
Haiku 1/2
Hung with an old friend.
He doesn't like Less Than Jake
like back in high school.
Haiku 1/3
Finished some reading
went to Veggie Castle with some friends
then I did laundry.
Haiku 1/4
So hungry all day.
Full of cheap beer and new tats,
alone on the bridge,
Haiku 1/5
Got a second flat
on my way to the air pump
to fix my first flat.
Haiku 1/6
Cold lampin' all day.
Three meals of Mexican food
watching "Serpico."
Haiku 1/7
Got drunk closing up.
Biked home in the pouring rain.
Boy did I get wet!
Haiku 1/8
Job hunting morning,
then slacking all afternoon -
dude time with Joey.
Haiku 1/9
Food's always better
when it's stuffed into more food
and topped with some cheese.
Haiku 1/10
Dumb job interview.
I've been down on shit lately.
Need better focus.
Haiku 1/11
Shards of broken glass
in a gob of mayonnaise
wiping off my hand.
Haiku 1/12
Bean pies in Bed-Stuy
job leads and that collie weed
gray skies for these guys.
Haiku 1/13
Afternoon inside
listening to some records
before Manhattan.
Haiku 1/14
Shoot me in the face!
I had quite the hangover
and I worked 'til four.
Haiku 1/15
Martin wanted peace,
so I won't whoop my neighbor
for their loud music.
Haiku 1/16
Got an interview
for the perfect freelance gig.
Well, come on, cosmos!
Haiku 1/17
Sugar mouth all day
from fake-puking condensed milk
for a photo shoot.
Haiku 1/18
Giving up seitan.
A fun-crusher four-flusher
will do that to ya.
Haiku 1/19
It's flat tire Friday!
Everything's tiring me out,
nothing's going on.
Haiku 1/20
Fighting off a cold,
so I worked on some writing,
hearing the wind blow.
Haiku 1/21
It sure is winter.
I've been waiting to say that
for a good long while.
Haiku 1/22
Last night's burrito,
bacon egg and cheese, tuna,
broccoli fried rice.
Haiku 1/23
Pretty easy day
and a sorta restless night,
up and down the stairs.
Haiku 1/24
Utility days
are when you spend all your time
taking care of bull.
Haiku 1/25
Now it's pretty cold
and I made the same dinner
as the night before.
Haiku 1/26
Byers came to town
on the coldest New York day
since '03 or so.
Haiku 1/27
Went running with Jeff
and then walked around all day.
My feet hurt like hell.
Haiku 1/28
Fuck it whatever
Jesus Christ and motherfuck
Goddamn it to hell.
Haiku 1/29
Got some Razorcakes
with an article I wrote.
I'll send one to Mom!
Haiku 1/30
All week leads up to
tomorrow's job interview.
Can't think beyond it.
Haiku 1/31
Had an interview
for a job I'd really like,
and not just for rent.
Haiku 2/1
Been a bit depressed,
acting unmotivated,
not sure what to do.
Haiku 2/2
Went to a wine bar,
felt out of my element,
then quit complaining.
Haiku 2/3
Jonathan Richman
What an excellent showman
By all means, see him
Haiku 2/4
Barfing through my nose
old enough to know better
kinda embarrassed.
Haiku 2/5
Didn't get the job
that I'd been stressing about.
Whatever. Their loss.
Haiku 2/6
Fighting off a cold
in the February cold
while job leads turn cold.
Haiku 2/7
The fucking heat broke
Had dinner guests on the way
I made a huge meal.
Haiku 2/8
Walked around a bunch,
and had my first physical
in about four years.
Haiku 2/9
Jogging in the wind
losing feeling in my nose
wearing four layers.
Haiku 2/10
Neil and Jess are here!
We can walk around and eat
both at the same time.
Haiku 2/11
Chicken and waffles.
I wanna base my life on
chicken and waffles.
Haiku 2/12
Hung with a toddler.
"CSI: Miami’s on.
What's my life come to?
Haiku 2/13
Think I've got pinkeye.
Staring at some proofreading;
man, this temp job blows!
Haiku 2/14
Ophthalmologist
Trudging, dilated pupils
New York ice and snow.
Haiku 2/15
Worked for an hour,
took my first piss test ever.
Futility strikes!
Haiku 2/16
It was a T day!
Temping, Twin Peaks, Third Ave. Traipse
and Tofu Tacos.
Haiku 2/17
A fucking slushfest.
We're overrun with gray slop
and homemade pizza.
Haiku 2/18
Bartended real late,
dreading temping tomorrow,
but loving pancakes.
Haiku 2/19
Super tired day.
Running on three hours sleep,
oatmeal and bagels.
Haiku 2/20
Chillin' with a book,
getting paid to sit and read,
slackest temp gig yet.
Haiku 2/21
Made a rad chow mein
and didn't do that much else.
I guess that's OK.
Haiku 2/22
Been on a Kinks kick,
reminded of boomboxing
my porch in high school.
Haiku 2/23
Ten-hour workday,
ton of bagels and pizza,
saw The Lemonheads.
Haiku 2/24
Saw the "Reno" flick
with a crew of ten people,
laughing like crazy.
Haiku 2/25
Drank too much coffee,
a great winter antidote,
for cabin fever.
Haiku 2/26
Thought I'd get more done,
but just ate lots of chicken
and rode the subway.
Haiku 2/27
Kinda jumpy day.
Standing instead of sitting.
Is sugar to blame?
Haiku 2/28
Caitlin's moving van
had a dead battery and
wouldn't start back up.
Haiku 3/1
Getting out of bed,
spending the whole day waiting
to go back to bed
Haiku 3/2
This job recruiter
swears more than Richard Pryor
and works for Avon.
Haiku 3/3
Hard rockin' all day!
Band practice, guitar alone,
then a hardcore show.
Haiku 3/4
Ate tons of tofu.
Sharon's video art show
while I bartended.
Haiku 3/5
Hardly left the house,
did some cooking and cleaning,
went through my old clothes.
Haiku 3/6
Worked on some writing.
Actually kinda bored
Went out for Tex-Mex.
Haiku 3/7
Had an interview
and a double cheeseburger
to balance it out.
Haiku 3/8
Sell-out job proof test
taken on a desk marked with
graffiti ideals.
Haiku 3/9
Friday night at the
"Birthplace of Rollerdisco."
Poured one for Biggie.
Haiku 3/10
I saw a cyclist
run a light and hurt someone.
Good day until then.
Haiku 3/11
An excellent day.
Skateboard mission in the park
and breakfast nachos.
Haiku 3/12
Slept away the day,
hardly left the fucking house,
feel like a damn blob.
Haiku 3/13
Petite mal seizure
Six-hour hospital wait
Should've just stayed home.
Haiku 3/14
Slept 'til 4pm,
wondering what's up with me,
calling the doctor.
Haiku 3/15
Sleep schedule's still fucked.
Fancy benefit dinner
for my sister's job.
Haiku 3/16
DJ Wintry Mix
was up in the cut, so I
stayed at home, dancing.
Haiku 3/17
Errands in the slush
just like islands in the stream.
Did some Irish stuff.
Haiku 3/18
Slushtown, U.S.A.
Having some coffee and eggs,
and getting fresh air.
Haiku 3/19
Just ice cold lampin'.
Wonderin' what's happenin'.
Killin' time and feelin' fine.
Haiku 3/20
Bike ride to Harlem,
windy all the way uptown.
Soul food steamer tray.
Haiku 3/21
The first day of spring,
my first day at a new job.
Such fresh beginnings!
Haiku 3/22
Train to Bensonhurst
for a cancelled appointment.
Fuck Dr. Rocco!
Haiku 3/23
All day proofreading
copy about foundation,
lip gloss, eyeliner.
Haiku 3/24
Made seven pizzas
all day for my birthday jam.
Fed them to my friends.
Haiku 3/25
Did that crappy thing
where I woke up hungover
at dawn, by mistake.
Haiku 3/26
Lots of new music!
Took a walk to sort it out.
Headphones, Union Square.
Haiku 3/27
It's spring's first warm day
In and out of the house, just
sweating out Thai food.
Haiku 3/28
It's Epilepsy
if you have multiple seizures
that are unexplained.
Haiku 3/29
I'm twenty-eight now,
filling myself with fried fish,
starting a new job.
Haiku 3/30
Didn't do fuck all
but spend some tax return cash
and make mushroom soup.
Haiku 3/31
Sharon's outta town.
Total bro-fest at the crib,
just me and the cat.
Haiku 4/1
Life story tellers
had a boring convention
while I bartended.
Haiku 4/2
Atlanta zing wings
three week old baby nephew
delirious tired.
Haiku 4/3
We can blame hot wings
for what happened this morning
on the thundermug.
Haiku 4/4
Ate some barbecue,
hung with the little nephew,
lousy plane ride home.
Haiku 4/5
Back at New York speed,
blowing through the city and
landing freelance jobs.
Haiku 4/6
Two job interviews,
a little babysitting.
Tired out by night.
Haiku 4/7
Running around town
like I don't even live here,
acting cultural.
Haiku 4/8
Watched couples make out
while I stood behind the bar
counting down last call.
Haiku 4/9
Not quite rested up,
sitting nodding at my desk.
A cat in the sun.
Haiku 4/10
Went to two doctors
who were both running behind
so it was no prob.
Haiku 4/11
Dicking 'round online,
a slow day at the office.
American dream?
Haiku 4/12
Spring rain, just like douche
flushed the city through the day,
causing discomfort.
Haiku 4/13
Anniversary!
We've been together three years!
Don't get sick of me!
Haiku 4/14
Always stay up late
when you plan on resting up.
Theremin party.
Haiku 4/15
Bus ride in the rain.
Blues - Can you make the train talk?
Hey secondhand smoke.
Haiku 4/16
A discography
of my high school hardcore band
is now in the works.
Haiku 4/17
Got super tired,
got drunk for a second wind,
couldn't trick myself.
Haiku 4/18
Bus back to New York.
Nothing profound crossed my mind.
Had fun in Richmond.
Haiku 4/19
Cheeseburger party
at Joey's spot in Bed-Stuy.
Grease your blues away.
Haiku 4/20
Tired and grouchy.
Is it allergy season?
Am I getting sick?
Haiku 4/21
Aimless wandering
through the nicest day so far
wearing my tea shades.
Haiku 4/22
Catching up on sleep
from this week-long tear I had.
Enjoying freedom.
Haiku 4/23
Spent the day outside.
Start a new job tomorrow,
desking all summer.
Haiku 4/24
First day on the job
was busy in a good way.
Think I can handle.
Haiku 4/25
One job in the day,
another job in the night.
Ninety-nine cent Coors.
Haiku 4/26
Twelve hour work day.
Won't have time to spend the cash
that is coming in.
Haiku 4/27
Ate lots of tacos
because life is hardly life
without some tacos.
Haiku 4/28
Spent all day outside
except when I was sleeping
or watching "Twin Peaks."
Haiku 4/29
Where else but Target
can I find shower curtains?
Thanks monoculture.
Haiku 4/30
Have to act busy
even with no work to do.
Beware. Manager.
Haiku 5/1
Packed myself three meals.
Fueling my all-day work-day
with those Tupperwares.
Haiku 5/2
Quit my dumb ol' band
We were stagnant for too long
Hope they aren't too pissed.
Haiku 5/3
Just got two paychecks.
Reminded why I do these
twelve-hour work days.
Haiku 5/4
Art show at a church.
Thought I was open-minded-
Jesus is creepy.
Haiku 5/5
Ted Leo brings it!
Bartender fucked up my tab,
so I got some shots.
Haiku 5/6
Had a shitty brunch
then some delicious pizza
to balance it out.
Haiku 5/7
All loved Jonny Z.
Now we'll keep on loving him
while we miss him, too.
Haiku 5/8
Everyone knew him
and if they didn't like him,
they loved him instead.
Haiku 5/9
Funeral plans came.
Being sad is exhausting.
Couldn't get to sleep.
Haiku 5/10
Missed the barbecue
but there was beer left over
at my evening job.
Haiku 5/11
Tired and stressed out.
Went to a reggae concert,
and laid my blues down.
Haiku 5/12
It's good to see you,
but wish I didn't have to.
Funeral in town.
Haiku 5/13
Crossing Virginia.
Parents' houses, health food stores
and funeral homes.
Haiku 5/14
Jonny's funeral.
Take-out Mexican, drive home.
Jonny's funeral.
Haiku 5/15
In the New York swing.
Having some crunch time this week
going out of town.
Haiku 5/16
A slow day at work,
and packing in the evening.
Puerto Rico bound.
Haiku 5/17
Nap all afternoon
drink some Puerto Rican coffee
try to sleep that night.
Haiku 5/18
Walk through Old San Juan
and try not to imagine
pirates being there.
Haiku 5/19
I don't know why but
"Parents Just Don't Understand"
is stuck in my head.
Haiku 5/20
Read "Dune" on the beach
only wearing sunglasses.
Ate lots of hot wings.
Haiku 5/21
Vieques ferry
scratching at all my sunburn
watching the seagulls.
Haiku 5/22
Airport clusterfuck
and crazy San Juan traffic
made it hard to leave.
Haiku 5/23
I went back to work,
cooked some ravioli soup
and went out skating.
Haiku 5/24
Drunk across the street
locked out of his place, shouting
into his buzzer.
Haiku 5/25
A friend from Richmond
bartends at a whiskey bar.
That shit got ugly.
Haiku 5/26
Hit up Brighton Beach
water was so cold it hurt
bike on the subway.
Haiku 5/27
Cleaned my apartment
for the entire afternoon,
then watched three "Twin Peaks."
Haiku 5/28
Marinating food,
a rooftop and a backyard.
It's all for soldiers!
Haiku 5/29
So hooked on "Twin Peaks."
I stayed up late watching it.
Gonna be tired.
Haiku 5/30
The zombie movie
made me scared to ride my bike
through the park at night.
Haiku 5/31
Work's by the subway.
I don't breathe Manhattan air
on many workdays.
Haiku 6/1
Finally hot out.
Read The Onion site at work,
then ate lots of rice.
Haiku 6/2
Super duper hot
and my parents were up here.
Mom made ill brownies.
Haiku 6/3
Bottled my homebrew,
ate lots of cheap Chinese food,
listened to records.
Haiku 6/4
Got zines in the mail,
ate leftover Chinese food,
did some damn laundry.
Haiku 6/5
So-so day at work,
tired for no good reason.
Went for a bike ride.
Haiku 6/6
Another bad sleep.
Zoned out all day on the job
then got cheezeburgerz.
Haiku 6/7
The "Twin Peaks" pilot.
Can someone lend it to me?
I have to see it.
Haiku 6/8
Flew to Chicago,
then drove down to Milwaukee.
Neil's getting married!
Haiku 6/9
Brewery wedding.
Congratulations Neil and Jess-
You're married, I'm drunk.
Haiku 6/10
Booze taste in my mouth,
Hollandaise sauce on my eggs,
plane back to New York.
Haiku 6/11
Five of the last ten
weekends were spent out of town.
What a crazy spring.
Haiku 6/12
The cats woke me up
so I was groggy all day,
cursing them felines.
Haiku 6/13
Work flew right on by,
the train home came right away,
I cooked paella.
Haiku 6/14
Scared my homebrew's flat.
Went to Prospect Park and saw
The Neville Brothers.
Haiku 6/15
Rode my bike around.
All is cool when you're going
to a Blowfly show.
Haiku 6/16
Central thunderstorm
at the Television show,
margarita full.
Haiku 6/17
Rock rock Rockaway
that's where I spent my whole day.
So lean back, lean back.
Haiku 6/18
Made a vegan meal
ate it with my vegan friends
went to vegan sleep.
Haiku 6/19
Worn out and tired,
on autopilot all day
while work was stressful.
Haiku 6/20
Went home after work,
had some Terrytime and
an ice cream soda.
Haiku 6/21
Sharon's video
got projected at a bar.
Lots of people came.
Haiku 6/22
Kinda hungover
headachy all day at work.
My friend Mike's in town.
Haiku 6/23
Crappy and sleepy.
It's Mike and Ryan's birthdays,
and I cooked alllll day.
Haiku 6/24
Pizza for breakfast,
biking home and then jogging.
Bro triathlon.
Haiku 6/25
Work as usual,
ate leftovers, did laundry.
Pretty boring day.
Haiku 6/26
Middle of the road
Italian ristorante,
I'm dusting the crops.
Haiku 6/27
Running in the park
felt like I was swimming laps.
Thanks, humidity.
Haiku 6/28
Humid city swims
boozehound's howl, barflies buzzing
food delivers late.
Haiku 6/29
I can't win at work.
Stay ahead and I miss stuff,
thorough and I'm late.
Haiku 6/30
Make crockpot chili
ate lots of crockpot chili.
Leftover chili.
Haiku 7/1
A skateboard mission
all the way across Bed-Stuy.
"Son! Do a ollie!"
Haiku 7/2
Hiding in the tub.
Hissing at me, on the john.
I’m the catsitter.
Haiku 7/3
Got an eye exam.
The proofreader needs glasses!
The writer can't read!
Haiku 7/4
Meat cooked with fire.
Happy Birthday U.S.A.
We're still evolving.
Haiku 7/5
Oh Lord, what's that smell?
Left some weed in my wallet
from last night's get-down.
Haiku 7/6
Rockaway house show.
Lost in Queens for two hours
seeing LL's hood.
Haiku 7/7
Steve Ritt was in town.
See hippies, New York's not bad.
Just go to the park!
Haiku 7/8
Ninety-plus degrees
spent the day at Brighton Beach
didn't do much else.
Haiku 7/9
Slow at work today.
Didn't slack constructively.
Answered some emails.
Haiku 7/10
The humidity
on the streets is swimmable,
the sky is orange.
Haiku 7/11
It's performance art
if you pour stuff on your head
and I hate the crowd.
Haiku 7/12
Helped move a futon
right after I went running.
Got it all sweaty.
Haiku 7/13
Drove down to Philly
after work, eating cheese fries,
saw Jorge and Janelle.
Haiku 7/14
Hit the Jersey Shore,
saw Richmond friends in Philly
and stayed up too late.
Haiku 7/15
Philadelphia,
the city where it's still cool
to be a wigga.
Haiku 7/16
Walked the bridge with Jeff
then ate a fly curry that
made me forget work.
Haiku 7/17
Got a summer cold
sneezed away the sunny day
and coughed 'til nighttime.
Haiku 7/18
Stayed home sick from work,
but Sharon got a new job!
Hooray for Sharon!
Haiku 7/19
Annoying work day,
stuffed my damn face at Zaytoon's,
humid-ass bike ride.
Haiku 7/20
Worked for ten hours!
But then saw Odetta play.
She made it better.
Haiku 7/21
Two birthday parties
biking around like a fool
sunburning my face.
Haiku 7/22
Hit Fire Island.
Now my face is on fire...
...FROM A BAD SUNBURN!
Haiku 7/23
Ravioli soup
pissing rain through the morning
cleaning the backroom.
Haiku 7/24
Went to visit the
kids I used to babysit.
Stressed for no reason.
Haiku 7/25
Doctor's appointment,
'cos I'm changing health insurance.
Some saw comedy.
Haiku 7/26
Asshole mechanics
kept me up half of last night
with paint fumes and noise.
Haiku 7/27
Heading for Richmond
reading that Harry Potter
flying friendly skies.
Haiku 7/28
Jonny Z tattoo.
He's been gone for near three months,
it's there forever.
Haiku 7/29
The flight home's cancelled.
It's pissing rain, I'm sweaty.
Looks like I'm stuck here.
Haiku 7/30
Up at 4 a.m.
Flight to N.Y., train to work.
Super long commute.
Haiku 7/31
Sleepy at my desk.
Went and did laundry later.
Are you bored also?
Haiku 8/1
Sat up late reading
and casting Chinese food spells.
Harry Potter rules!
Haiku 8/2
Last day on the job
Sharon cut her leg open
cleaning out her desk.
Haiku 8/3
Stayed in after work.
Sharon made dinner and I
wrote a short story.
Haiku 8/4
Hot as balls out there!
Everyone stopped making sense
by 9:30 or so.
Haiku 8/5
Opened my third eye.
Summer of Love exhibit
then Simpsons movie.
Haiku 8/6
Stuck at work 'til 7
Did a whole bunch of cooking
Worked on a story
Haiku 8/7
A punk rock sauna
A house show in hot weather
Airborne, topless drunks
Haiku 8/8
The train tracks flooded
hottest day of the summer
walked to Manhattan.
Haiku 8/9
Whole lot of nothing.
Burrito acid reflux.
Pack for New England.
Haiku 8/10
Grilled frozen pizza,
mussels, lobster, fish, salad,
corn on the cob.
Haiku 8/11
Drunk friends from grade school
motorboat to a sandbar
meteor shower.
Haiku 8/12
Looking at the bay.
I'll be at my desk at work
in twenty hours?!
Haiku 8/13
Ate lots of cupcakes
Chilled at home for the evening,
drawing a comic.
Haiku 8/14
No revelations..
Just some reading and cooking.
Amy stayed with us.
Haiku 8/15
My sister's birthday!
Drank some Guinness, gave her a
Simpsons DVD.
Haiku 8/16
Saxophone douchebag
practices upstairs at night.
Dolphy? Try DON'Tphy!
Haiku 8/17
Drunk right after work.
Got stuffed on Mexican food.
Slowed up the whole night.
Haiku 8/18
Reached a fitness goal;
looping the park twice, jogging.
Took phatty bonghits.
Haiku 8/19
Overcast beach trip
Rain on the bus ride back home.
Slow going Sunday.
Haiku 8/20
Awesome or boring:
Going to bed all early,
staying in weeknights.
Haiku 8/21
Work was slow again,
plus, another day of rain.
Drank beer with Kareem.
Haiku 8/22
Art film opening.
Ocean of skinny, stubbly
tall guys in blazers.
Haiku 8/23
Laundry after work,
baked potatoes for dinner.
Whooptie fucking do.
Haiku 8/24
Running after work
then biking off to a bar.
Dense humidity.
Haiku 8/25
Mosquito bite path
gold sun passing overhead
sandy shoe dune walk
Haiku 8/26
Biked to Brighton Beach.
Wet ass on a bike seat chafes
while I ride back home.
Haiku 8/27
Worked on some drawing
to add some worth to my day;
balance out Target.
Haiku 8/28
Went to the movies
and the movie was sold out
so we had some drinks.
Haiku 8/29
Drew a few pictures
and then fell the hell asleep,
having scary dreams.
Haiku 8/30
It's Joey's birthday!
Variety of liquors
sloshing in my gut.
Haiku 8/31
No complaints today,
but nothing awesome either.
So it goes, sometimes.
Haiku 9/1
September beach trip.
Going as much as I can
before it's too cold.
Haiku 9/2
Cut off all my hair.
No more getting dapped up by
Rastas on the bus.
Haiku 9/3
Went to the parade,
stuffed my face with jerk chicken
and smoked too much pot.
Haiku 9/4
Hit Junior's for an
orange freeze ice cream soda.
Goodnight, sugar high.
Haiku 9/5
I cleaned the kitchen!
'twas poetry in motion!
Mop pentameter!
Haiku 9/6
Worked on a new song.
Rode my bike to Williamsburg
and hung out up there.
Haiku 9/7
Drove down to D.C.
Got to Tom and Hope's real late.
Work was weak, also.
Haiku 9/8
Drunk uncle get-down
at Sharon's cousin's wedding.
Hey, Macarena!
Haiku 9/9
Bank info stolen.
Rear-ended leaving D.C.
Skipped lunch, got nauseous.
Haiku 9/10
Went to a punk show.
Faces across a dark room;
old friends, older friends.
Haiku 9/11
Cooked a ton of soup
and took it easy at home,
working on a zine.
Haiku 9/12
Faux hawk: New mullet?
We'll crack jokes and bag on them
in just a few years.
Haiku 9/13
Hasids call my bluff
and run with me in the park
blowing horns, blessing.
Haiku 9/14
Carne asada
99 bottles of beer
4 a.m. bathroom.
Haiku 9/15
Cab horn woke me up
clear skies at Coney Island
out of it all day.
Haiku 9/16
Hung with my parents
walking around Manhattan
at tourist cruise speed.
Haiku 9/17
Mom made us a quilt
crazy Day of the Dead art
and pillows to match.
Haiku 9/18
Went for a fast jog.
Balanced the exercise with
a badass burger.
Haiku 9/19
Early work meeting
mosquitoes all through the night
free beer opening.
Haiku 9/20
6 a.m. jogging.
Napping under my desk by
about 3 p.m.
Haiku 9/21
Left from work early
drank too much cheap liquor at
a comedy show.
Haiku 9/22
Yes! Sinus problems!
Too rainy for the beach! Rad!
Stayed up late! Awesome!
Haiku 9/23
Guy at the drugstore
is shouting about how he
needs Valtrex, TONIGHT!
Haiku 9/24
My meds aren't covered
by my new insurance. Had
another seizure.
Haiku 9/25
Saw some comedy
after my new writing class.
It's Sharon's birthday!
Haiku 9/26
Insurance problems
catch 22's, debacles.
Move to Canada.
Haiku 9/27
Work's been pretty sweet
'cos the boss is out of town.
The stress level drops!
Haiku 9/28
Work was slack again.
Didn't do jack shit after.
Still beat from Monday.
Haiku 9/29
Sharon's birthday jam!
Air hockey, ping-pong and pool.
Liquor, beer and weed.
Haiku 9/30
Super fun houseguests
walking off the hangover
drinking papaya.
Haiku 10/1
I baked some cookies
and then I ate the cookies.
I'm full of cookies.
Haiku 10/2
Mind-mushingly slow
all of Wikipedia
desk, apathy, fucked.
Haiku 10/3
Working on writing
when I should be proofreading.
American dream!
Haiku 10/4
Worked on more writing.
It made my brain move too fast
and I couldn't sleep.
Haiku 10/5
Went to see The Blow.
She owned it alone on stage
under purple lights.
Haiku 10/6
Soul food feast, buddy.
Adam from Boston's in town,
watching "Mr. Show."
Haiku 10/7
Cop on a Segue,
my MP3 player broke...
...but the Red Sox won!
Haiku 10/8
Stupid lunch meeting.
Give me some benefits if
the corp's doing well.
Haiku 10/9
Twenty degree drop
became fall during the day
manic temperature.
Haiku 10/10
Jiggity jogging
almost barfed in my damn mouth
it's wicked humid.
Haiku 10/11
For the last two weeks,
quiet before the torrent.
Makeup catalogs.
Haiku 10/12
GRE study.
My memory failed me, I'm
even worse at math.
Haiku 10/13
Took the GRE.
Went to a sweaters-only
backyard barbecue.
Haiku 10/14
Went to Queens. Got lost.
That seems to happen every time.
Rad Chinese food, though.
Haiku 10/15
Stayed in, just writing.
The Shaolin and the Wu-Tang
could be dangerous.
Haiku 10/16
Feeling better now.
Making up for lost sleeping
bit by mosquitoes.
Haiku 10/17
Cuban food for lunch,
Mexican food for dinner.
Lots of pork. Sorry.
Haiku 10/18
Shitfoot incident.
Kicked out of the litter box.
Guess who stepped in it?
Haiku 10/19
Frustration, whiskey,
dry burger with wet weather,
secondhand trifling.
Haiku 10/20
Went to Hoboken.
It was more like "Broboken,"
but, hey, something new...
Haiku 10/21
Goddamn teenagers
on the stoop across the street
kept me up 'til 4.
Haiku 10/22
Life is best with a
big-ass map of Africa
in the living room.
Haiku 10/23
After work had a
patty melt but no gator belt
before writing class.
Haiku 10/24
Cooked up Hoppin' John.
It had rained all day and it
wasn't eighty out.
Haiku 10/25
Leftovers, gnomesane?
F.I.T.A. busy day,
with full moon fever.
Haiku 10/26
Drove to the Catskills,
dark road in the pissing rain.
Can't see the mountains.
Haiku 10/27
Grown up hippie town
still raining, kinda dreaming
real ghosts in my sleep.
Haiku 10/28
Red Sox sweep World Series.
Not so mad at Bill Buckner
after all of this.
Haiku 10/29
Show at a canal
watching it from a drawbridge
old friends across water.
Haiku 10/30
Workshopped my writing
and got a bunch of ideas
to edit that shit.
Haiku 10/31
Running before dark
to avoid getting egged by
some DAMN TEENAGERS.
Haiku 11/1
These DAMN TEENAGERS
tried to jump Sharon and I
but we scared them off!
Haiku 11/2
Day of the Dead, the
night ended at a gay bar
right near the projects.
Haiku 11/3
Sharon's parents came.
Ate tostadas, fish and chips,
and of course, pizza.
Haiku 11/4
Dying to go to
Brooklyn College for grad school.
But will they take me?
Haiku 11/5
The cat doesn't know
that it's daylight savings time
so he wakes us up.
Haiku 11/6
Got all sugared up
at a grad school open house.
Somehow lost my voice.
Haiku 11/7
Drawing at my desk.
Not letting my mind stagnate
while it's slow at work.
Haiku 11/8
Average good day:
Mexican food for dinner
and slow on the job.
Haiku 11/9
Sharon bought me gifts
which I had to carry home.
Jesus did that too.
Haiku 11/10
Lazy Saturday
never exerted my mind
went to bed early.
Haiku 11/11
Homemade granola
powered me over the bridge
on a skateboard jam.
Haiku 11/12
Totally over
this dark-before-I-leave-work
newfangled bullshit.
Haiku 11/13
Busy day at work,
Korean food, writing class.
The day flew right by.
Haiku 11/14
Raw food for dinner.
At an art show watching the
douchebag last supper.
Haiku 11/15
Back to some writing
trying to edit old stuff
totally confused.
Haiku 11/16
In my head all day
singing falsetto at work.
Justin Timberlake.
Haiku 11/17
Cooked so much soul food.
Drank energy drinks for a
dance party 'til 3.
Haiku 11/18
Pancake celebrate!
Woke up with no hangover;
magic is at work.
Haiku 11/19
The park is empty
if you run after work now,
more space than New York.
Haiku 11/20
Blew out the afro,
looking like Art Garfunkel
mixed with The RZA.
Haiku 11/21
Worked on a comic
then got some story ideas
and made pumpkin soup.
Haiku 11/22
A vegan potluck
and then a Philipino
pig roast in Bed-Stuy.
Haiku 11/23
Wrote through the day then
saw Crispin Glover's slide show
and his new movie.
Haiku 11/24
Ate too much pizza
went to a Brooklyn beard bar
ran into China.
Haiku 11/25
Edited stories
all day with an afro pick
crockpot blackeye peas.
Haiku 11/26
Ate a lot of beans
finished reading "Wind Up Bird"
and watched "CSI."
Haiku 11/27
Dude with warm-up pants,
girl says she lies about age.
Watching their blind date.
Haiku 11/28
Basic grown man stuff
Shit like jogging and laundry
took up my whole night.
Haiku 11/29
Hot sauce in my beer
and tilapia tacos
burning through the night.
Haiku 11/30
Joked around at work.
Kinda weird to admit it,
but I like my job.
Haiku 12/1
Yuletide jammings with
egg nog like marshmallow fluff
and a one-hitter.
Haiku 12/2
Worked on some drawing.
If you're not down with chilling
then we can't hang out.
Haiku 12/3
Could hardly get up.
Just dead on my feet all day
dead in my brain, too.
Haiku 12/4
My last writing class.
They all liked my new story,
then we went for drinks.
Haiku 12/5
Pissed and understaffed
doing yoga on the phone
baking potatoes.
Haiku 12/6
Running on black ice
and crunching through snowy grass
just in a hoodie.
Haiku 12/7
Tired as fuck, yo.
Cooked up some fish, stayed in
watching "Boogie Nights."
Haiku 12/8
Handled some B.I.
like the barber shop and a
whole lot of nothing.
Haiku 12/9
Neighborhood walking,
not sure if I "get" Daft Punk.
Fish fry with soul sides.
Haiku 12/10
Crowded A.M. train
back to back, an old lady
farted on my leg.
Haiku 12/11
Three hour meeting!
Sitting for longer than a
"Lord of the Rings" flick!
Haiku 12/12
Restless at my desk
full of holiday cookies.
Nothing exciting.
Haiku 12/13
The snow didn't stick
neither did the hale or rain.
Dark in the morning.
Haiku 12/14
The party got hype
when I spilled guacamole
on my Adidas.
Haiku 12/15
All day on my feet
walking across the canal
sleeting heading home.
Haiku 12/16
Oh noes! Sharon's sick!
Did some crap around the house
had pizza for lunch.
Haiku 12/17
Tofu, broccoli
the laundromat, the baby
the mama, the cell...
Haiku 12/18
Free rum and hot wings
at this holiday party
where Sharon teaches.
Haiku 12/19
Work Christmas party.
Corona in the daytime,
catching a headcold.
Haiku 12/20
Made homemade pizza
for Christmas dinner and then
we exchanged presents.
Haiku 12/21
Tired and sneezing
stuck at work later than planned
packing for VA.
Haiku 12/22
AmTrak with a cold
Penn Station wait - train delay
my sister's engaged.
Haiku 12/23
Burt Reynolds nightmare
woke me up at 6 a.m.
Shut the fuck up, Mom.
Haiku 12/24
Recorded three songs
with my old friend Jonathan
and ate eighteen wings.
Haiku 12/25
Jesus enchiladas
birthday bourbon and Bud Lite
HOLY HANGOVER.
Haiku 12/26
Got back on the train
cooked a healthy meal for once
went to bed early.
Haiku 12/27
First day back at work.
The good times were a-rollin'!
It's a wild ride, y'all.
Haiku 12/28
Ever notice how
the people with the least soul
wear Triple Five Soul?
Haiku 12/29
IMax planet crash
scaring a nearby toddler.
"Cosmic Collisions."
Haiku 12/30
Breakfast nachos, dude.
Vegetarian toppings
burping that garlic.
Haiku 12/31
The year ended well
with ping-pong, tacos and some
scotch that smelled like fire.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Man, Ain't That News!
Here's the goal: Gullible Zine #28 will be out by my birthday, the 29th.
So far so good. I've started doing layout, and am tinkering with the last couple of pieces of writing. I'm also working on drawing the cover. Attached above is a sideways-ass detail from the cover art. Thrashin' Ra!
Included in this issue will be some Richmond and tour stories, a couple episodes of a new comic strip called "Chilling," and a contribution from Cole H.
Once I get that all done, the rough plan is to put together my 2007 Haiku Diary, and make issue #30 be The History of The Flesh Eating Creeps (my band from the second half of the '90s). The FEC History should sort of coincide with the release of our discography CD.
That's all. I'll post an excerpt from Gullible #28 when it's done.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
2005 Haikus
Haiku 12/8/05
Fuck I hate my job.
Took bong hits, made a mixtape.
Went to bed early.
Haiku 12/9/05
X rocked at Roseland
while I was kissing my girlfriend
walking home real late.
Haiku 12/10/05
Emailing off my
Teaching Fellows Application
praying for cool work.
Haiku 12/11/05
Wrote a guitar song.
Drank with Michelle and Evan.
Nightmare about work
Haiku 12/12/05
In my writing class
Quang had some great suggestions
Had a cold ride home
Haiku 12/13/05
Lost my job today.
"Does that mean I don't have to
work here anymore?"
Haiku 12/14/05
Coffee and comics
Sending out my resume
Grillo's on a date!
Haiku 12/15/05
Stand-up comedy
Pizza place with take-out beer
Transit strike looming.
Haiku 12/16/05
Photobooth photos
of how I rode my bike home,
skinny legs 'n' all.
Haiku 12/17/05
To bed late, rise soon.
Hangover cures, band practice,
Chinexican food.
Haiku 12/18/05
Two hours upstate
for a museum and an
eerie restaurant.
Haiku 12/19/05
I'm breaking atoms,
Brooklyn to Koreatown,
yelling "Free James Brown!"
Haiku 12/20/05
Good ol' transit strike,
every day I ride my bike.
Nothing new for me.
Haiku 12/21/05
I like Wild Turkey,
shitty jokes, and my girlfriend,
all at the same time.
Haiku 12/22/05
Mac 'n' cheese, string beans,
got drunk, got nine hours of sleep,
still a worried man.
Haiku 12/23/05
Last day at my job,
didn't get into grad school,
what else could go wrong?
Haiku 12/24/05
Richmond, Virginia.
Barely just got home, don't know
why I'm bagging leaves.
Haiku 12/25/05
Senile relatives,
angry relatives, good times,
guitar talk and rain.
Haiku 12/26/05
Traffic's never bad
'til you get real close to home,
and sit for two hours.
Haiku 12/27/05
Don't tell my Mom, but,
when you buy drugs from your friends,
you can write a check.
Haiku 12/28/05
Boston's new and old.
The house I was born in is
blue like it was then.
Haiku 12/29/05
Goodbye to Boston.
Chinatown Dunkin' Donuts,
with half a head cold.
Haiku 12/30/05
Guitar Center, please,
fire the guy that said I look
like Brandon Fraser.
Haiku 12/31/05
Adios '05,
your boy can mix a perfect
Manhattan by eye.
Fuck I hate my job.
Took bong hits, made a mixtape.
Went to bed early.
Haiku 12/9/05
X rocked at Roseland
while I was kissing my girlfriend
walking home real late.
Haiku 12/10/05
Emailing off my
Teaching Fellows Application
praying for cool work.
Haiku 12/11/05
Wrote a guitar song.
Drank with Michelle and Evan.
Nightmare about work
Haiku 12/12/05
In my writing class
Quang had some great suggestions
Had a cold ride home
Haiku 12/13/05
Lost my job today.
"Does that mean I don't have to
work here anymore?"
Haiku 12/14/05
Coffee and comics
Sending out my resume
Grillo's on a date!
Haiku 12/15/05
Stand-up comedy
Pizza place with take-out beer
Transit strike looming.
Haiku 12/16/05
Photobooth photos
of how I rode my bike home,
skinny legs 'n' all.
Haiku 12/17/05
To bed late, rise soon.
Hangover cures, band practice,
Chinexican food.
Haiku 12/18/05
Two hours upstate
for a museum and an
eerie restaurant.
Haiku 12/19/05
I'm breaking atoms,
Brooklyn to Koreatown,
yelling "Free James Brown!"
Haiku 12/20/05
Good ol' transit strike,
every day I ride my bike.
Nothing new for me.
Haiku 12/21/05
I like Wild Turkey,
shitty jokes, and my girlfriend,
all at the same time.
Haiku 12/22/05
Mac 'n' cheese, string beans,
got drunk, got nine hours of sleep,
still a worried man.
Haiku 12/23/05
Last day at my job,
didn't get into grad school,
what else could go wrong?
Haiku 12/24/05
Richmond, Virginia.
Barely just got home, don't know
why I'm bagging leaves.
Haiku 12/25/05
Senile relatives,
angry relatives, good times,
guitar talk and rain.
Haiku 12/26/05
Traffic's never bad
'til you get real close to home,
and sit for two hours.
Haiku 12/27/05
Don't tell my Mom, but,
when you buy drugs from your friends,
you can write a check.
Haiku 12/28/05
Boston's new and old.
The house I was born in is
blue like it was then.
Haiku 12/29/05
Goodbye to Boston.
Chinatown Dunkin' Donuts,
with half a head cold.
Haiku 12/30/05
Guitar Center, please,
fire the guy that said I look
like Brandon Fraser.
Haiku 12/31/05
Adios '05,
your boy can mix a perfect
Manhattan by eye.
2006 Haiku Diary
Haiku 1/1
What a perfect day.
Horror movie, Mexican food,
and not too sunny.
Haiku 1/2
Japanese bootleg
video games. "Galaga"
is now "Galaza."
Haiku 1/3
Job interview time.
Bust out the ol' Gap sweater,
and tune your guitar.
Haiku 1/4
Dreamt my Dad had a
Bo Diddley guitar with a
bible stuck in it.
Haiku 1/5
Found a part-time job.
Heaven knows I'm mis'rable,
Morrissey was right!
Haiku 1/6
For veggie dumplings,
gamble on sharing tables
at New Green Bo, dude.
Haiku 1/7
This winter's alright.
I haven't worn longjohns once.
Guess I just jinxed it.
Haiku 1/8
Weekends don't mean much
when you only work ten hours
leading up to them.
Haiku 1/9
When you lie awake,
I don't suggest lingering
on past betrayals.
Haiku 1/10
I'm so productive.
I wish that this part time job
could pay the damn rent!
Haiku 1/11
Am I a slackass?
No shower, thanks to Tetris
and an ab workout.
Haiku 1/12
I'm like Sisyphus.
Spent half the day putting back
what I pulled before.
Haiku 1/13
This bar looks like if
a goth teen decorated
her parents' whole house.
Haiku 1/14
Richmond called at 10,
when I was baking cookies,
not sure what to do.
Haiku 1/15
This weekend was great.
I cooked a shitload of food
and bought a guitar.
Haiku 1/16
Sharon, you rule, girl.
Please take me to see Wu-Tang
on Valentine's Day.
Haiku 1/17
Stayed in from the show
to cook and watch "Jason X."
Hell, it was raining.
Haiku 1/18
Got a second job,
an existential nightmare
with a red pencil.
Haiku 1/19
Couldn't sleep last night.
Finished what I was reading,
and lay there, blinking.
Haiku 1/20
Both jobs, ragtime band,
my friends' punk band, bar-hopping,
all on five hours sleep.
Haiku 1/21
My band recorded,
then I went to a party.
Some girl dropped my weed.
Haiku 1/22
I spent the whole day
tripping on magic mushrooms.
I need to slow down.
Haiku 1/23
Try cooking curry
when you've got a bunch of old
veggies in your fridge.
Haiku 1/24
Hit an open mic.
Didn't talk to anyone
but the bartender.
Haiku 1/25
New downstairs neighbor
lets her smoke alarm go off
all the live long day.
Haiku 1/27
People doing coke
look like giant anteaters.
Fun party, lame drugs.
Haiku 1/28
It was so nice out,
but I was in the basement,
recording demos.
Haiku 1/29
It started to rain
when we were leaving the house.
We left anyway.
Haiku 1/30
Only had one drink,
ran three miles, had no fried food,
and feel really good.
Haiku 1/31
Played that open mic
that I talked about last week.
Biked home in the rain.
Haiku 2/1
Peach quesadillas
sure put me in a good mood.
Here's to you, black beans!
Haiku 2/2
Finish up your work,
the plane to Puerto Rico
leaves just before dawn.
Haiku 2/3
On the plane at 5
"Walk the Line" was the in-flight
Already sunburned.
Haiku 2/4
Gallos, platanos
tele en el hotele,
y ron sabroso.
Haiku 2/5
The beach in the rain
is still pretty fucking sweet.
Kinda miss veggies.
Haiku 2/6
Sacamos fotos
en un cementerio,
en un gran playa.
Haiku 2/7
Boring plane ride home,
unpacked, rocked Cody Chesnutt,
destroyed the bathroom.
Haiku 2/8
Work computer's down,
other job wants more hours,
friends in town backed out.
Haiku 2/9
Great head-butt, Jamie.
It looks like a herpes sore
on my lower lip.
Haiku 2/10
Going to Philly
to see Wu-Tang tomorrow.
36 Chambers!
Haiku 2/11
Wu-Tang in Philly,
then "Bride of Chucky" was on.
Happy birthday, Dad!
Haiku 2/12
Big fucking snowstorm!
Bus drivers still won't slow down,
but we're home on time.
Haiku 2/13
All these things to do
fill my head and keep me from
doing anything.
Haiku 2/14
V-Day was a bust.
I tried to paint the bedroom,
and Sharon was sick.
Haiku 2/15
I called in to work
so I could finish painting.
Don't tell anyone!
Haiku 2/16
I hung up some shelves.
We moved in eight months ago,
so it was high time.
Haiku 2/17
Ever just stay in
'cos you think you're getting sick,
then just get hyper?
Haiku 2/18
Ate a lot of beans
and hung with Shauna and Matt.
It was cold as fuck!
Haiku 2/19
When you cook a bunch,
try to make the bath towels
smell like fried chicken.
Haiku 2/20
Got a bad night's sleep,
treated my stomach bad, and
saw bad comedy.
Haiku 2/21
I got drunk on wine.
All Strangers played a great show
at a good potluck.
Haiku 2/22
I work from home, and
my neighbor likes reggaeton.
Callate, cono!
Haiku 2/23
In the studio
until one, working on the
All Strangers demo.
Haiku 2/24
Tacos for dinner,
hilarious bus driver,
scary cab driver.
Haiku 2/25
Tacos for breakfast,
and hung out with my parents.
Also saw Liza!
Haiku 2/26
No tacos today,
just band practice and oatmeal.
Watched "Pink Panther," too.
Haiku 2/27
Some days just go by.
Nothing funny or crappy,
just work, eat, and sleep.
Haiku 2/28
Put in my notice!
ROCK 'N' ROLL WILL NEVER DIE!
Take that, shitty job!
Haiku 3/1
Drunk guy by the store
is singing Luther Vandross
while we're walking home.
Haiku 3/2
Right after dinner,
I organized my closet
while I was all high.
Haiku 3/3
When Sharon's not home,
I cook meat and listen to
music that she hates.
Haiku 3/4
Saw The Smoking Popes,
and the Curious George flick.
Hear that? Best day ever.
Haiku 3/5
Slept in like crazy,
and got nothing done all day.
Couldn't even sleep.
Haiku 3/6
Man was I tired,
on autopilot all day.
Finished my book, though.
Haiku 3/7
Red wine marinade,
garlic mayo sauce, and a
book by Chester Himes.
Haiku 3/8
Took the day off work
because it's Sharon's spring break.
Rode our bikes around.
Haiku 3/9
Found a light up cross
by a church on Washington.
Brought it home. Creepy!
Haiku 3/10
Some nice-ass weather!
Nothing to do but drink beer!
Springtime in New York!
Haiku 3/11
Ate Veggie Castle,
walked home, biked to a soul night
at a soulless bar.
Haiku 3/12
Bad day, thanks to a
fucking allergy attack.
I hardly went out.
Haiku 3/13
I quit my dumb job
and stayed up 'til 3 mixing
the All Strangers stuff.
Haiku 3/14
My new rule of thumb:
Only go to restaurants
that fat people like.
Haiku 3/15
My temp job is doomed,
but my "Beavis and Butthead"
DVDs did come.
Haiku 3/16
Read. Push-ups. Coffee.
Work. Jog. Lunch. Laundry. More work.
DVD. Punk show.
Haiku 3/17
Finally checked out
the liquor store with the huge
rum pirate out front.
Haiku 3/18
Had to drown a mouse.
Got a tracksuit from Caitlin.
What a weird/cool day.
Haiku 3/19
Next year, my parents
are moving back to Boston.
Get outta the south!
Haiku 3/20
The post office line
was so long, my MP3
battery ran out.
Haiku 3/21
Did some temp work for
the folks I work from home for.
Then I worked at home.
Haiku 3/22
Working lots this week,
saving for when I don't work,
and I just worry.
Haiku 3/23
I worked ten hours
on one website. I think my
eyes are gonna cross.
Haiku 3/24
Whatchoo know about
a nineteen hundred dollar
tax return, sucka?
Haiku 3/25
I paced myself well.
Drank a lot of shitty beer
and secondhand smoke.
Haiku 3/26
I worked a lot, but
still had a lazy Sunday.
It's a crime not to.
Haiku 3/27
I should have changed pants.
My "work jeans" got all smoky
over the weekend.
Haiku 3/28
Yo! Thank you, Ghostface,
for dropping a fly album
right by my birthday.
Haiku 3/29
I'm twenty-seven!
Started my year clear-headed;
worked hard, exercised.
Haiku 3/30
Walked through the city,
and then I rode my longboard
through my neighborhood.
Haiku 3/31
The Westside Highway
bike path shoots up Manhattan
like spice through your tongue.
Haiku 4/1
Two trays of nachos!
This includes three bags of chips,
and four bags of cheese.
Haiku 4/2
Nachos, two new songs,
skateboarding, nice-ass weather,
Jamaican shower.
Haiku 4/3
Sat up late, reading.
And I saw Bobcat Goldthwaite
walking down Broadway.
Haiku 4/4
I crave free time, but
when I get it, why do I
just piss it away?
Haiku 4/5
There's no telling if
I'll want to be creative
when I have the time.
Haiku 4/6
Young bar folks get all
nostalgic for alt-rock songs
I'm too old to like.
Haiku 4/7
Saw The Hold Steady!
Sharon said I was the most
ethnic person there.
Haiku 4/8
Had a hangover.
I gave myself a tattoo
and had some houseguests.
Haiku 4/9
It's between winter
and the allergy season.
A grace period.
Haiku 4/10
Did you ever drink
bourbon from hollow chocolate
Easter Bunny heads?
Haiku 4/11
There's a bottle of
Remy in the food photos
at the Chinese spot.
Haiku 4/12
Celebrated our
anniversary, watching
"Reno 911."
Haiku 4/13
My sister's moving
in a neighborhood over.
I made stuffed peppers.
Haiku 4/14
Sat in traffic for
four hours and I had an
allergy attack.
Haiku 4/15
My old band played a
reunion show in Richmond.
It was really fun.
Haiku 4/16
Lost my voice last night,
and spent the afternoon in
my parents' crawlspace.
Haiku 4/17
Went to a high school,
spoke to a class about zines.
Still freaked out by jocks.
Haiku 4/18
Pervert's holding up
nudie photos from his car.
I'm on the Greyhound.
Haiku 4/19
Left my phone at work,
then returned Matt's Metrocard.
Made two trips back.
Haiku 4/20
Dude, it's four-twenty!
I cleared the bong twice before
heading off to work.
Haiku 4/21
Pulled a skater punk
up through Bed-Stuy on my bike
on my way back home.
Haiku 4/22
Felt sick and sneezy.
Got Tigerbalm in my eye,
and watched "ATL."
Haiku 4/23
When the rain let up,
we rode bikes into Crown Heights
for some ital food.
Haiku 4/24
A little-known fact:
An hour of air hockey
is really tiring.
Haiku 4/25
Lew, Drew and me jumped
the Coney Island gun. Cheap
beer's back in my life.
Haiku 4/26
I dreamed I pissed blood.
That'll sure fuck up your day.
I blame the pollen.
Haiku 4/27
Know what I'm sick of?
Sneezing! Fucking sneezing! Ugh!
I'll run out of snot!
Haiku 4/28
Bar's got weak drinks, a
four dollar photo booth, and
dress shirts. I'm leaving.
Haiku 4/29
I played music with
Kareem, Myles and Marc today.
Good times, loud guitars.
Haiku 4/30
Blugh. Sat on my ass
doing extra freelance work.
Not much to report.
Haiku 5/1
Lord, please help me stop
listening to Hall & Oates
over and over.
Haiku 5/2
Working at home is
kinda lonesome, but better
than dealing with jerks.
Haiku 5/3
Why'd it start to rain
when I was gonna go skate?
Meh, guess I'll just bike.
Haiku 5/4
Well-fed pink men say
"Fuckentwelvepackgoateeman"
in ol' Virginia.
(*for Meeo)*
Haiku 5/5
I'm a grizzly bear.
I just eat a lot of fish
and hang out alone.
Haiku 5/6
Harlem walking tour.
Saw where my grandma hung out.
It's an IHOP now.
Haiku 5/7
When you work at home,
the city is yours, but you
share on the weekend.
Haiku 5/8
Got a bunch of zines
and fell asleep reading them
on the couch at nine.
Haiku 5/9
Sharon woke me up
so there'd be a new haiku
when she got to work.
Haiku 5/10
Yes! Stuffed pepper date!
"Grandma's Boy" on DVD,
and Table Talk pies!
Haiku 5/11
Why did the cops tail
me when I was out riding
my bike in the park?
Haiku 5/12
Got gay married
to get some health insurance.
Shit's cruising along.
Haiku 5/13
Had some friends in town.
Goddamn did I eat a lot.
By "eat" I mean "drink."
Haiku 5/14
Glad I'm not used to
the hangovers anymore,
but damn do they hurt.
Haiku 5/15
With all this free time,
you'd think I'd write more than just
a haiku a day.
Haiku 5/16
Emergency room
was too busy, so we left
and bought Jack Daniel's.
Haiku 5/17
Wow, what a fun night!
Art, slider burgers, and a
German beer garden.
Haiku 5/18
I cooked four courses
and not one of them was fried!
I'm losing my touch.
Haiku 5/19
Went drinking again.
Wow, what will I think of next?
Hangovers rock ass!
Haiku 5/20
The dance party ruled!
I made the floor electric
to Miami bass.
Haiku 5/21
Slept 'til noon cos I
went to a dance party and
spilled beer on my Clark's.
Haiku 5/22
I worked, read, and cooked.
Hugel came by for a bit,
we watched "CSI."
Haiku 5/23
The glare of the sun
was so strong that I hardly
got home from the park.
Haiku 5/24
Yesterday's was "emo."
I meant that the weather's sweet,
and Prospect Park rules.
Haiku 5/25
Went to a weird show.
Made me glad I don't still tour.
My ears are ringing.
Haiku 5/26
I made a collage
of porn and religious tracts,
then drew a skater.
Haiku 5/27
Helped my sister move,
then got four drinks spilled on me
at a "dance" party.
Haiku 5/28
At a cookout, got
two sets of balls on my head
at the same damn time.
Haiku 5/29
Got hot overnight.
I cut the sleeves off some shirts,
and ditched out on socks.
Haiku 5/30
A new way to say
"Worked, took a bike ride, cooked, chilled"
would be most welcome.
Haiku 5/31
Went to see Team Dresch.
Brought back punk house memories
while they owned the stage.
Haiku 6/1
I stayed in to rest.
It was a long week of fun,
and I'm partied out.
Haiku 6/2
The sky opened up
down by Empire Boulevard.
Soaked and far from home.
Haiku 6/3
It was all rainy.
I got full of cheezburgerz,
and did some writing.
Haiku 6/4
It's good to go out
on Sunday nights. Keeps Fox shows
from taking over.
Haiku 6/5
Neighborhood kids say
"Hey mister, do a kickflip!"
when I'm out skating.
Haiku 6/6
It's 6/6/06!
Went out looking for LARPers.
Not much going on.
Haiku 6/7
I appreciate
a big dinner, a bongload,
and a few whiskeys.
Haiku 6/8
Popping pills to sleep,
fucking neighbors all outside,
radio still plays.
Haiku 6/9
This Green Day CD
is so old that the songs don't
come up on iTunes.
Haiku 6/10
I got a fever
and couldn't go see Dungen.
How shitty is that?
Haiku 6/11
I dreamt my old job
was in a high school classroom.
It made perfect sense.
Haiku 6/12
With no appetite,
I'm a shadow of myself.
I hate being sick.
Haiku 6/13
Raymond Chandler makes
me wish for a past era
I'd never live in.
Haiku 6/14
My Grandma's dying,
my job's cutting my hours,
and my new band rules.
Haiku 6/15
Slept bad, worked too much,
then saw Maceo Parker,
and all was aces.
Haiku 6/16
Extra work, the park,
a book, a margarita,
a sugar headache.
Haiku 6/17
It was overcast
and the water was freezing,
but the beach still ruled.
Haiku 6/18
It was hot as nuts
and I had the worst beershits.
Got some writing done.
Haiku 6/19
Worried about work,
'cos they're cutting back hours.
Otherwise, just chilled.
Haiku 6/20
Went to an art show.
I stood on the balcony
and watched the city.
Haiku 6/21
Fucked up resume,
still got the interview call.
This job should rule... NOT!
Haiku 6/22
A creepy dude bar,
and then to a gay punk show.
I ran the gamut.
Haiku 6/23
New England traffic,
and leaving New York traffic.
A bizarre beach town.
Haiku 6/24
Ate a Maine lobster
then panicked at the pitch-black
small town seaside night.
Haiku 6/25
Drank the hangover,
ate the leftovers, hit a
Russian barbecue.
Haiku 6/26
When it's late and drunk,
"No Parking Monday" looks like
"No Parking Sunday."
Haiku 6/27
I often miss home
when I'm on a trip. It's hard
to miss loud neighbors.
Haiku 6/28
Is it a good thing
when Wednesdays feel like Sundays?
I need some more work.
Haiku 6/29
Found a pair of shades
almost just like the sweet ones
I broke last summer.
Haiku 6/30
Ate vegan all day
and ran around the whole park.
...then I got shitfaced.
Haiku 7/1
I thought that the fruit
from the empty sangria
was fruit salad. Eww.
Haiku 7/2
At the beach I saw
Corky from "Life Goes On," and
got a sunburned chest.
Haiku 7/3
It was hot as nuts.
I went for a run, and then
played a decent show.
Haiku 7/4
People next to us
singing patriotic songs
in off harmony.
Haiku 7/5
Sent out resumes,
made stuffed peppers, wrote a bit.
Where did my day go?
Haiku 7/6
Two calls about jobs!
Fired up the slow cooker,
and stayed up too late.
Haiku 7/7
Manager asks me
to "describe your work ethnic."
I don't want the job.
Haiku 7/8
Ladies & gentlemen, people of the press, I ask you:
Which one of these two haikus should be the official Haiku of The Day for July 8th? Leave your vote as a comment...
1.
I don't see new bands,
just the reunions of bands
I liked in high school.
2.
Got doored on my bike
after hanging with Barker
at the Lifetime show.
Haiku 7/9
We biked up to Queens.
Went to an Olympic pool
and a Czech beer hall.
Haiku 7/10
I love the crockpot-
the whole apartment smells tight!
Ate a huge dinner.
Haiku 7/11
Slow cooker all day,
while I was at band practice,
and doing laundry.
Haiku 7/12
My modem's fucked up.
No "How To Tie A Tie" site
for my interview.
Haiku 7/13
Did courier work,
saw free music in the park,
and had nice houseguests.
Haiku 7/14
My friend Mike's in town.
Known him since 7th grade math,
but we get drunk now.
Haiku 7/15
Chicken and waffles,
outdoor food and Art Brut show,
Common on Fulton.
Haiku 7/16
Verrazanno toll
is like eating spicy food -
hurts more going out.
Haiku 7/17
I took three dumps, and
stepped on a little kid's hand.
He was on some stairs.
Haiku 7/18
Oppressively hot.
Stayed in doing freelance work,
took a walk at night.
Haiku 7/19
Had a band practice
in the middle of the day.
Working at home rules.
Haiku 7/20
Got a cameraphone.
The first photo that I took
was of Sharon's boobs.
Haiku 7/21
Woke up in Richmond.
It's real hot in the suburbs.
Went to Mike's wedding.
Haiku 7/22
It's hot in Richmond.
Drove from AC to AC,
even with the clouds.
Haiku 7/23
Man, fuck the Greyhound.
And the guy on his cellphone.
Fuck him too, big time.
Haiku 7/24
Did some freelance work,
signed with a temp agency,
drew a sweet wizard.
Haiku 7/25
Went for a good run -
the weather's been mercyful.
Ate some leftovers.
Haiku 7/26
I think this temp job
wants me to take a drug test.
What do I do now?
Haiku 7/27
Flight to Milwaukee.
Haven't seen Neil in three years.
Tax refund summer!
Haiku 7/28
Off the plane, to the
Black Holocaust Museum
then a Brew'ry tour.
Haiku 7/29
A creepy brownout,
foot blisters, deep-dish pizza,
Nice boobs, Chicago.
Haiku 7/30
Milwaukee sure eats.
A sunburn Sunday street fair.
Milwaukee sure drinks.
Haiku 7/31
On the plane first thing,
sore from the crooked futon.
Had a great visit.
Haiku 8/1
With the heat index,
it's as close to boiling as
it is to freezing.
Haiku 8/2
It was hot as nutz!
Had a dude date to the beach
with good ol' Joey.
Haiku 8/3
To get free healthcare,
I should have worked two hours less.
So damn frustrating.
Haiku 8/4
A triathalon!
Went running, biked to a show,
and walked to a bar.
Haiku 8/5
Going kinda broke,
then I got shortchanged five bucks.
Wound up drunk. The blues!
Haiku 8/6
Freckles on my lips
from all the sun this summer.
They look like ink stains.
Haiku 8/7
Rode to Big George's,
talked to a merchant marine
about Australia.
Haiku 8/8
It's so damn nice out,
even Wythe Ave. was pretty.
That's impossible!
Haiku 8/9
Did some freelance work,
and sent out some resumes.
Hung with Marc and Glenn.
Haiku 8/10
Donuts are hard drugs;
they seem like a fun idea,
but they just hurt you.
Haiku 8/11
I should be sleeping,
but instead I'm haikuing.
Tomorrow I'll hurt.
Haiku 8/12
Three meals of tacos.
Almost beat the hangover.
Sorta took a nap.
Haiku 8/13
I slept the hell in,
and then worked on some writing.
Get better, Sharon.
Haiku 8/14
A temp agency,
a sweet new tattoo design,
awesome comedy.
Haiku 8/15
Computer's fucked up,
what the hell else can go wrong?
It's Caitlin's birthday.
Haiku 8/16
Ravioli soup,
a couple new leads on jobs.
Not optimistic.
Haiku 8/17
Edited my zine.
I'm gonna lay it out soon.
This is exciting.
Haiku 8/18
Coffee, Hall and Oates,
run in the park, interview,
a rooftop party.
Haiku 8/19
Bootleg DVDs,
then a birthday kegger for
Caitlin and Joey.
Haiku 8/20
Damn "Snakes on a Plane"
bootleg stopped in the middle.
I just went to bed.
Haiku 8/21
Scared up a temp job,
dreamed that Manhattan was cool,
copped the new Outkast.
Haiku 8/22
Placing lots of calls,
asking questions about decks.
Temp it up, tempy!
Haiku 8/23
It's weird to be back
on work-run-cook-then sleep mode.
How will next week go?
Haiku 8/24
Phoning this one in
because yesterday was like
the day before it.
Haiku 8/25
Left work at two, to
try and get my head on straight.
So goddamn tired.
Haiku 8/26
Smoked a bunch of hash
then took pictures of my dick.
Yup, I suck at life.
Haiku 8/27
More shitty weather.
I did a ton of cooking,
then layed out my zine.
Haiku 8/28
Big Bank Brooklyn to
Money-makin' Manhattan -
Drinking the cheap stuff.
Haiku 8/29
Got soaked in the rain -
fuck this Noah's Ark bullshit.
Young Brothers first show.
Haiku 8/30
Biked up to Times Square.
When I got to my temp job,
I was sweaty as hell.
Haiku 8/31
I went out to dinner -
the seitan tasted like feet.
Walked home from Times Square.
Haiku 9/1
I fell on my face
while doing the Kid 'n' Play
in my living room.
Haiku 9/2
Slept in, drank coffee.
It's still raining, and so I
went out and got drunk.
Haiku 9/3
Finally sunny.
Biked around all day, drinking
and eating pizza.
Haiku 9/4
I wore myself out
on another long weekend.
Stay in to do work!
Haiku 9/5
Got a "manny" job,
taking care of a toddler.
Things are settling in.
Haiku 9/6
What's worse than waiting?
People fussing about the
line at the PO.
Haiku 9/7
We've come for art films,
learning, and satisfaction.
And we got art films.
Haiku 9/8
At my internship
we rocked Wu-Tang Clan all day,
then I bought some bourbon.
Haiku 9/9
A final beach trip.
A breezy rooftop party.
Summer's winding down.
Haiku 9/10
African drum sesh
on a backyard trampoline
on Atlantic Ave.
Haiku 9/11
If I mention it,
then all the terrorists win,
and The Post shuts up.
Haiku 9/12
Day one of sitting.
The little kid is awesome
and I'm exhausted.
Haiku 9/13
Played a real good show,
and busted out some new songs.
Joey on djembe.
Haiku 9/14
Babysat all day.
My new rap name: Han Dolo.
Got a new TV.
Haiku 9/15
Got parents in town
and bitemarks from then kid I
took care of all day.
Haiku 9/16
My parents came by,
then I went to band practice,
and ate some hot wings.
Haiku 9/17
The best bourbon is
always named after someone's
racist grandfather.
Haiku 9/18
Why does UPS
deliver at the same time
after you're not home?
Haiku 9/19
I'm more productive
when I'm busy as shit. Now
I'm REAL productive.
Haiku 9/20
Freelanced a whole bunch,
went to the grocery store,
then watched "Vacation."
Haiku 9/21
Where do mosquitos
come from when it's September?
They go TO my room...
Haiku 9/22
Does babysitting
and editing Moms make me
metrosexual?
Haiku 9/23
Went apple picking.
A van all the way upstate
rode with sixteen friends.
Haiku 9/24
The bourbon tasting
started at noon, then I got
a flat on my bike.
Haiku 9/25
It's Sharon's birthday.
Was the weird neighbor watching?
Sure as hell hope not.
Haiku 9/26
Pinkeye's almost gone.
Busted out the contacts and
got school-night loaded.
Haiku 9/27
A hangover walk
twice across the neighborhood
in the sweet fall sun.
Haiku 9/28
Had a good bike ride,
looked for the new Lemonheads,
did some voiceover.
Haiku 9/29
Pretty easy day
babysat, made some dinner,
ate lots of dessert.
Haiku 9/30
Biked up to Bushwick
got a fever, some guy tried
to steal my damn bike.
Haiku 10/1
Stayed in bed 'til one,
took a nap at seven, then
back to bed at ten.
Haiku 10/2
Ev'ry night I get
eaten up by mosquitoes.
What the fuck? It's fall!
Haiku 10/3
Got a tattoo of
an orangutan dressed up
as Dr. Watson.
Haiku 10/4
I'm stressed the hell out
working, cooking, and packing
to go see Byers.
Haiku 10/5
Some crockpot cooking,
and packing for my bus trip.
Not a lot happened.
Haiku 10/6
Up at 5 a.m.
and read a lot on the bus.
New England's killer.
Haiku 10/7
Took a nine-mile hike,
and then ate a cheeseburger.
Mancation kicks ass.
Haiku 10/8
We used to come here
in the '80s. Now I'm here
by coincidence.
Haiku 10/9
Took a final hike
to a little waterfall,
then got on the bus.
Haiku 10/10
Back babysitting,
still thinking about hiking.
This walk-up ain't shit.
Haiku 10/11
Stuck on a dark bus,
rain, at the end of the line.
Thanks for the heads up.
Haiku 10/12
The kid wouldn't nap
and I couldn't sleep last night.
What a damn headache.
Haiku 10/13
I was real sleepy
so I watched "Barbarella"
and had a big meal.
Haiku 10/14
Had some band practice,
homemade fried chicken, and then
my old friend, cheap booze.
Haiku 10/15
Oops, woke up early.
An aimless Manhattan walk,
and a huge dinner.
Haiku 10/16
Got rung up wrong and
got a free blazer that I
still couldn't afford.
Haiku 10/17
Saw some comedy.
Got singled out for some "laffs."
Women be shopping.
Haiku 10/18
When freelancing you're
rarely comfie, never bored,
and often worried.
Haiku 10/19
The day just went by,
and there's nothing wrong with that
every now and then.
Haiku 10/20
There's lots of wiggas
living in Cincinnati.
What's crackin', "8 Mile?"
Haiku 10/21
Driving through Cinci
and eating all of Cinci.
Good time, sprawl city.
Haiku 10/22
Well, drank like a champ
under the gray 'nati sky,
and conked out early.
Haiku 10/23
Dude! We got a cat!
He's gray, with blue eyes, like me.
We named his ass Carl.
Haiku 10/24
So fucking windy!
Had to pedal going down
the Manhattan Bridge.
Haiku 10/25
Peanut gallery
at the laundromat hates on
reality shows.
Haiku 10/26
It's gray and windy.
Rode my longboard to Park Slope
and did freelance work.
Haiku 10/27
After band practice
I got all wet biking home
and stayed the hell in.
Haiku 10/28
Sharon spilled her bike
and bled all on her costume.
"A dead Blues Brother."
Haiku 10/29
A perfect Sunday
with time in the park and a
ton of home cooking.
Haiku 10/30
Made a mix CD-
jams for embarrassing dads.
Don Henley, Dire Straits.
Haiku 10/31
Happy Halloween.
A night of staying up late
for no good reason.
Haiku 11/1
Rock cliche Mad Libs.
"We just came off this looooong tour!"
"Thanks for coming out!"
Haiku 11/2
Watched "East of Eden."
James Dean's way overrated.
What a crybaby.
Haiku 11/3
Saw a suit fall down
on the sidewalk in SoHo.
That shit made my day!
Haiku 11/4
Hungover as shit.
Walked to Union Square, made zines,
four-story punk show.
Haiku 11/5
Security guard
at the Jewish Museum
followed us around.
Haiku 11/6
Man, I ate a lot
of food for no good reason.
The Food Lion roars!
Haiku 11/7
Repubs lost the house.
I feel a bit less guilty
cos I didn't vote.
Haiku 11/8
Jalapeno hands
holding my contact lenses
and stinging my eyes.
Haiku 11/9
Seventy degrees?
Not wearing jackets because
global warming rocks!
Haiku 11/10
The cat hit my balls
and the kid I babysit
stepped on my tattoo.
Haiku 11/11
I, slug, ate some grease,
went to the movies, and then
stayed up late, drinking.
Haiku 11/12
Running in the rain
until my feet got soaked and
I wrung out my clothes.
Haiku 11/13
More rain and more sleep,
heating up some leftovers,
watching "CSI."
Haiku 11/14
The job you don't want
is always the first to call.
Misspelled resume.
Haiku 11/15
Fuck Cablevision!
They can't fix my internet
because theirs broke too!
Haiku 11/16
Lots of shit to do
so I'm wasting lots of time
getting nothing done.
Haiku 11/17
Shitfaced in Red Hook,
singing some karaoke
for Evan's birthday.
Haiku 11/18
The cable guy came
while I was busy puking
up water and beer.
Haiku 11/19
The classic slow day
running errands, eating brunch,
and watching cartoons.
Haiku 11/20
What a long-ass day.
Babysitting a fever
that wouldn't go nap.
Haiku 11/21
Part time and short term,
the magic words on CraigsList
when weird job hunting.
Haiku 11/22
Plenty cheeseburgers
Wondering why cool kids all
dress like Garth Algar.
Haiku 11/23
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Woke up and started cooking
then walked in the rain.
Haiku 11/24
More babysitting
and then even more eating.
What a killer rut.
Haiku 11/25
A weekend workday
makes for a weakened chill day
and a night at home.
Haiku 11/26
Until it got dark,
in the park for three hours
walking in a "Q."
Haiku 11/27
Fifty Queens cop shots
Diallo for 2K6
Bet the pigs go free.
Haiku 11/28
Plenty of biking
and ital-vital eating,
plus it never rained.
Haiku 11/29
Nearly December
and it's sixty degrees out.
Al Gore is pissed off!
Haiku 11/30
No real exercise.
57th Street's too far
for a bike commute.
Haiku 12/1
Rabbit rabbit, y'all!
Happy birthday Jeremy,
sweet surprise party.
Haiku 12/2
Cruising along, tired.
Eighteen back-to-back work days.
This is number seven.
Haiku 12/3
When you get locked out,
take a walk in Central Park
while they get the key.
Haiku 12/4
It's finally cold,
giving me an excuse to
park it in a bar.
Haiku 12/5
Didn't do jack shit,
just rode my bike in the cold
and rocked some salmon.
Haiku 12/6
Did some freelance work,
ate Vietnamese seitan,
and that's about it.
Haiku 12/7
At the mattress store
guys talk aboout "Britney's snatch,"
and play Heavy D.
Haiku 12/8
Paper Sisyphus
while these stacks of editing
replenish themselves.
Haiku 12/9
What does "faux dive" mean?
Fratboys in a basement with
eight dollar call drinks.
Haiku 12/10
First night bartending
was exhausting - Second job
I went to that day.
Haiku 12/11
Shut my eyes on foot,
seeing if I can rest while
walking to the train.
Haiku 12/12
Finally slept in,
got to take a bike ride, and
cooked a huge dinner.
Haiku 12/13
Seventeenth day straight
at one job or another.
Making up lost time.
Haiku 12/14
Jogging in the fog
and playing like I'm Frodo
on an epic quest.
Haiku 12/15
Fifty-two minutes
to walk to Houston St. from
Columbus Circle.
Haiku 12/16
Carried a toddler
and a piss-covered kickball
across Canal St.
Haiku 12/17
Bartended again.
It was all cool except for
counting out the drawer.
Haiku 12/18
Anxiety dreams
about friends eating raw meat
geting hit by cars.
Haiku 12/19
My last day of work
until well after Christmas.
Finally rest up.
Haiku 12/20
First day off all month.
Fried chicken and Christmas gifts
with my lady love.
Haiku 12/21
Up at 4:30,
losing my contact lenses
before showering.
Haiku 12/22
Slept ten plus hours.
I love that secondhand smoke,
the rain, and the car.
Haiku 12/23
There's no such thing as
a considerate smoker,
with my lungs involved.
Haiku 12/24
Took a reggae run
Hung with the kegerator
Drew dicks on my face.
Haiku 12/25
Weird conspiracy:
James Brown dies the day before
Jesus's birthday.
Haiku 12/26
Had some Terrytime,
took Sharon to Mamma Zu's,
and then to The Byrd.
Haiku 12/27
Dreamt about mole,
bad talk radio car ride,
took off on my bike.
Haiku 12/28
Didn't do jack shit,
and it felt about perfect
to sit on my ass.
Haiku 12/29
Had a big morning
acting wicked cultural,
then I got some beer.
Haiku 12/30
Rode my bike around
exchanging those xmas gifts
that don't fit my life.
Haiku 12/31
10 9 8 7
6 5 4 3 2 1 and
chocolate fondue!
What a perfect day.
Horror movie, Mexican food,
and not too sunny.
Haiku 1/2
Japanese bootleg
video games. "Galaga"
is now "Galaza."
Haiku 1/3
Job interview time.
Bust out the ol' Gap sweater,
and tune your guitar.
Haiku 1/4
Dreamt my Dad had a
Bo Diddley guitar with a
bible stuck in it.
Haiku 1/5
Found a part-time job.
Heaven knows I'm mis'rable,
Morrissey was right!
Haiku 1/6
For veggie dumplings,
gamble on sharing tables
at New Green Bo, dude.
Haiku 1/7
This winter's alright.
I haven't worn longjohns once.
Guess I just jinxed it.
Haiku 1/8
Weekends don't mean much
when you only work ten hours
leading up to them.
Haiku 1/9
When you lie awake,
I don't suggest lingering
on past betrayals.
Haiku 1/10
I'm so productive.
I wish that this part time job
could pay the damn rent!
Haiku 1/11
Am I a slackass?
No shower, thanks to Tetris
and an ab workout.
Haiku 1/12
I'm like Sisyphus.
Spent half the day putting back
what I pulled before.
Haiku 1/13
This bar looks like if
a goth teen decorated
her parents' whole house.
Haiku 1/14
Richmond called at 10,
when I was baking cookies,
not sure what to do.
Haiku 1/15
This weekend was great.
I cooked a shitload of food
and bought a guitar.
Haiku 1/16
Sharon, you rule, girl.
Please take me to see Wu-Tang
on Valentine's Day.
Haiku 1/17
Stayed in from the show
to cook and watch "Jason X."
Hell, it was raining.
Haiku 1/18
Got a second job,
an existential nightmare
with a red pencil.
Haiku 1/19
Couldn't sleep last night.
Finished what I was reading,
and lay there, blinking.
Haiku 1/20
Both jobs, ragtime band,
my friends' punk band, bar-hopping,
all on five hours sleep.
Haiku 1/21
My band recorded,
then I went to a party.
Some girl dropped my weed.
Haiku 1/22
I spent the whole day
tripping on magic mushrooms.
I need to slow down.
Haiku 1/23
Try cooking curry
when you've got a bunch of old
veggies in your fridge.
Haiku 1/24
Hit an open mic.
Didn't talk to anyone
but the bartender.
Haiku 1/25
New downstairs neighbor
lets her smoke alarm go off
all the live long day.
Haiku 1/27
People doing coke
look like giant anteaters.
Fun party, lame drugs.
Haiku 1/28
It was so nice out,
but I was in the basement,
recording demos.
Haiku 1/29
It started to rain
when we were leaving the house.
We left anyway.
Haiku 1/30
Only had one drink,
ran three miles, had no fried food,
and feel really good.
Haiku 1/31
Played that open mic
that I talked about last week.
Biked home in the rain.
Haiku 2/1
Peach quesadillas
sure put me in a good mood.
Here's to you, black beans!
Haiku 2/2
Finish up your work,
the plane to Puerto Rico
leaves just before dawn.
Haiku 2/3
On the plane at 5
"Walk the Line" was the in-flight
Already sunburned.
Haiku 2/4
Gallos, platanos
tele en el hotele,
y ron sabroso.
Haiku 2/5
The beach in the rain
is still pretty fucking sweet.
Kinda miss veggies.
Haiku 2/6
Sacamos fotos
en un cementerio,
en un gran playa.
Haiku 2/7
Boring plane ride home,
unpacked, rocked Cody Chesnutt,
destroyed the bathroom.
Haiku 2/8
Work computer's down,
other job wants more hours,
friends in town backed out.
Haiku 2/9
Great head-butt, Jamie.
It looks like a herpes sore
on my lower lip.
Haiku 2/10
Going to Philly
to see Wu-Tang tomorrow.
36 Chambers!
Haiku 2/11
Wu-Tang in Philly,
then "Bride of Chucky" was on.
Happy birthday, Dad!
Haiku 2/12
Big fucking snowstorm!
Bus drivers still won't slow down,
but we're home on time.
Haiku 2/13
All these things to do
fill my head and keep me from
doing anything.
Haiku 2/14
V-Day was a bust.
I tried to paint the bedroom,
and Sharon was sick.
Haiku 2/15
I called in to work
so I could finish painting.
Don't tell anyone!
Haiku 2/16
I hung up some shelves.
We moved in eight months ago,
so it was high time.
Haiku 2/17
Ever just stay in
'cos you think you're getting sick,
then just get hyper?
Haiku 2/18
Ate a lot of beans
and hung with Shauna and Matt.
It was cold as fuck!
Haiku 2/19
When you cook a bunch,
try to make the bath towels
smell like fried chicken.
Haiku 2/20
Got a bad night's sleep,
treated my stomach bad, and
saw bad comedy.
Haiku 2/21
I got drunk on wine.
All Strangers played a great show
at a good potluck.
Haiku 2/22
I work from home, and
my neighbor likes reggaeton.
Callate, cono!
Haiku 2/23
In the studio
until one, working on the
All Strangers demo.
Haiku 2/24
Tacos for dinner,
hilarious bus driver,
scary cab driver.
Haiku 2/25
Tacos for breakfast,
and hung out with my parents.
Also saw Liza!
Haiku 2/26
No tacos today,
just band practice and oatmeal.
Watched "Pink Panther," too.
Haiku 2/27
Some days just go by.
Nothing funny or crappy,
just work, eat, and sleep.
Haiku 2/28
Put in my notice!
ROCK 'N' ROLL WILL NEVER DIE!
Take that, shitty job!
Haiku 3/1
Drunk guy by the store
is singing Luther Vandross
while we're walking home.
Haiku 3/2
Right after dinner,
I organized my closet
while I was all high.
Haiku 3/3
When Sharon's not home,
I cook meat and listen to
music that she hates.
Haiku 3/4
Saw The Smoking Popes,
and the Curious George flick.
Hear that? Best day ever.
Haiku 3/5
Slept in like crazy,
and got nothing done all day.
Couldn't even sleep.
Haiku 3/6
Man was I tired,
on autopilot all day.
Finished my book, though.
Haiku 3/7
Red wine marinade,
garlic mayo sauce, and a
book by Chester Himes.
Haiku 3/8
Took the day off work
because it's Sharon's spring break.
Rode our bikes around.
Haiku 3/9
Found a light up cross
by a church on Washington.
Brought it home. Creepy!
Haiku 3/10
Some nice-ass weather!
Nothing to do but drink beer!
Springtime in New York!
Haiku 3/11
Ate Veggie Castle,
walked home, biked to a soul night
at a soulless bar.
Haiku 3/12
Bad day, thanks to a
fucking allergy attack.
I hardly went out.
Haiku 3/13
I quit my dumb job
and stayed up 'til 3 mixing
the All Strangers stuff.
Haiku 3/14
My new rule of thumb:
Only go to restaurants
that fat people like.
Haiku 3/15
My temp job is doomed,
but my "Beavis and Butthead"
DVDs did come.
Haiku 3/16
Read. Push-ups. Coffee.
Work. Jog. Lunch. Laundry. More work.
DVD. Punk show.
Haiku 3/17
Finally checked out
the liquor store with the huge
rum pirate out front.
Haiku 3/18
Had to drown a mouse.
Got a tracksuit from Caitlin.
What a weird/cool day.
Haiku 3/19
Next year, my parents
are moving back to Boston.
Get outta the south!
Haiku 3/20
The post office line
was so long, my MP3
battery ran out.
Haiku 3/21
Did some temp work for
the folks I work from home for.
Then I worked at home.
Haiku 3/22
Working lots this week,
saving for when I don't work,
and I just worry.
Haiku 3/23
I worked ten hours
on one website. I think my
eyes are gonna cross.
Haiku 3/24
Whatchoo know about
a nineteen hundred dollar
tax return, sucka?
Haiku 3/25
I paced myself well.
Drank a lot of shitty beer
and secondhand smoke.
Haiku 3/26
I worked a lot, but
still had a lazy Sunday.
It's a crime not to.
Haiku 3/27
I should have changed pants.
My "work jeans" got all smoky
over the weekend.
Haiku 3/28
Yo! Thank you, Ghostface,
for dropping a fly album
right by my birthday.
Haiku 3/29
I'm twenty-seven!
Started my year clear-headed;
worked hard, exercised.
Haiku 3/30
Walked through the city,
and then I rode my longboard
through my neighborhood.
Haiku 3/31
The Westside Highway
bike path shoots up Manhattan
like spice through your tongue.
Haiku 4/1
Two trays of nachos!
This includes three bags of chips,
and four bags of cheese.
Haiku 4/2
Nachos, two new songs,
skateboarding, nice-ass weather,
Jamaican shower.
Haiku 4/3
Sat up late, reading.
And I saw Bobcat Goldthwaite
walking down Broadway.
Haiku 4/4
I crave free time, but
when I get it, why do I
just piss it away?
Haiku 4/5
There's no telling if
I'll want to be creative
when I have the time.
Haiku 4/6
Young bar folks get all
nostalgic for alt-rock songs
I'm too old to like.
Haiku 4/7
Saw The Hold Steady!
Sharon said I was the most
ethnic person there.
Haiku 4/8
Had a hangover.
I gave myself a tattoo
and had some houseguests.
Haiku 4/9
It's between winter
and the allergy season.
A grace period.
Haiku 4/10
Did you ever drink
bourbon from hollow chocolate
Easter Bunny heads?
Haiku 4/11
There's a bottle of
Remy in the food photos
at the Chinese spot.
Haiku 4/12
Celebrated our
anniversary, watching
"Reno 911."
Haiku 4/13
My sister's moving
in a neighborhood over.
I made stuffed peppers.
Haiku 4/14
Sat in traffic for
four hours and I had an
allergy attack.
Haiku 4/15
My old band played a
reunion show in Richmond.
It was really fun.
Haiku 4/16
Lost my voice last night,
and spent the afternoon in
my parents' crawlspace.
Haiku 4/17
Went to a high school,
spoke to a class about zines.
Still freaked out by jocks.
Haiku 4/18
Pervert's holding up
nudie photos from his car.
I'm on the Greyhound.
Haiku 4/19
Left my phone at work,
then returned Matt's Metrocard.
Made two trips back.
Haiku 4/20
Dude, it's four-twenty!
I cleared the bong twice before
heading off to work.
Haiku 4/21
Pulled a skater punk
up through Bed-Stuy on my bike
on my way back home.
Haiku 4/22
Felt sick and sneezy.
Got Tigerbalm in my eye,
and watched "ATL."
Haiku 4/23
When the rain let up,
we rode bikes into Crown Heights
for some ital food.
Haiku 4/24
A little-known fact:
An hour of air hockey
is really tiring.
Haiku 4/25
Lew, Drew and me jumped
the Coney Island gun. Cheap
beer's back in my life.
Haiku 4/26
I dreamed I pissed blood.
That'll sure fuck up your day.
I blame the pollen.
Haiku 4/27
Know what I'm sick of?
Sneezing! Fucking sneezing! Ugh!
I'll run out of snot!
Haiku 4/28
Bar's got weak drinks, a
four dollar photo booth, and
dress shirts. I'm leaving.
Haiku 4/29
I played music with
Kareem, Myles and Marc today.
Good times, loud guitars.
Haiku 4/30
Blugh. Sat on my ass
doing extra freelance work.
Not much to report.
Haiku 5/1
Lord, please help me stop
listening to Hall & Oates
over and over.
Haiku 5/2
Working at home is
kinda lonesome, but better
than dealing with jerks.
Haiku 5/3
Why'd it start to rain
when I was gonna go skate?
Meh, guess I'll just bike.
Haiku 5/4
Well-fed pink men say
"Fuckentwelvepackgoateeman"
in ol' Virginia.
(*for Meeo)*
Haiku 5/5
I'm a grizzly bear.
I just eat a lot of fish
and hang out alone.
Haiku 5/6
Harlem walking tour.
Saw where my grandma hung out.
It's an IHOP now.
Haiku 5/7
When you work at home,
the city is yours, but you
share on the weekend.
Haiku 5/8
Got a bunch of zines
and fell asleep reading them
on the couch at nine.
Haiku 5/9
Sharon woke me up
so there'd be a new haiku
when she got to work.
Haiku 5/10
Yes! Stuffed pepper date!
"Grandma's Boy" on DVD,
and Table Talk pies!
Haiku 5/11
Why did the cops tail
me when I was out riding
my bike in the park?
Haiku 5/12
Got gay married
to get some health insurance.
Shit's cruising along.
Haiku 5/13
Had some friends in town.
Goddamn did I eat a lot.
By "eat" I mean "drink."
Haiku 5/14
Glad I'm not used to
the hangovers anymore,
but damn do they hurt.
Haiku 5/15
With all this free time,
you'd think I'd write more than just
a haiku a day.
Haiku 5/16
Emergency room
was too busy, so we left
and bought Jack Daniel's.
Haiku 5/17
Wow, what a fun night!
Art, slider burgers, and a
German beer garden.
Haiku 5/18
I cooked four courses
and not one of them was fried!
I'm losing my touch.
Haiku 5/19
Went drinking again.
Wow, what will I think of next?
Hangovers rock ass!
Haiku 5/20
The dance party ruled!
I made the floor electric
to Miami bass.
Haiku 5/21
Slept 'til noon cos I
went to a dance party and
spilled beer on my Clark's.
Haiku 5/22
I worked, read, and cooked.
Hugel came by for a bit,
we watched "CSI."
Haiku 5/23
The glare of the sun
was so strong that I hardly
got home from the park.
Haiku 5/24
Yesterday's was "emo."
I meant that the weather's sweet,
and Prospect Park rules.
Haiku 5/25
Went to a weird show.
Made me glad I don't still tour.
My ears are ringing.
Haiku 5/26
I made a collage
of porn and religious tracts,
then drew a skater.
Haiku 5/27
Helped my sister move,
then got four drinks spilled on me
at a "dance" party.
Haiku 5/28
At a cookout, got
two sets of balls on my head
at the same damn time.
Haiku 5/29
Got hot overnight.
I cut the sleeves off some shirts,
and ditched out on socks.
Haiku 5/30
A new way to say
"Worked, took a bike ride, cooked, chilled"
would be most welcome.
Haiku 5/31
Went to see Team Dresch.
Brought back punk house memories
while they owned the stage.
Haiku 6/1
I stayed in to rest.
It was a long week of fun,
and I'm partied out.
Haiku 6/2
The sky opened up
down by Empire Boulevard.
Soaked and far from home.
Haiku 6/3
It was all rainy.
I got full of cheezburgerz,
and did some writing.
Haiku 6/4
It's good to go out
on Sunday nights. Keeps Fox shows
from taking over.
Haiku 6/5
Neighborhood kids say
"Hey mister, do a kickflip!"
when I'm out skating.
Haiku 6/6
It's 6/6/06!
Went out looking for LARPers.
Not much going on.
Haiku 6/7
I appreciate
a big dinner, a bongload,
and a few whiskeys.
Haiku 6/8
Popping pills to sleep,
fucking neighbors all outside,
radio still plays.
Haiku 6/9
This Green Day CD
is so old that the songs don't
come up on iTunes.
Haiku 6/10
I got a fever
and couldn't go see Dungen.
How shitty is that?
Haiku 6/11
I dreamt my old job
was in a high school classroom.
It made perfect sense.
Haiku 6/12
With no appetite,
I'm a shadow of myself.
I hate being sick.
Haiku 6/13
Raymond Chandler makes
me wish for a past era
I'd never live in.
Haiku 6/14
My Grandma's dying,
my job's cutting my hours,
and my new band rules.
Haiku 6/15
Slept bad, worked too much,
then saw Maceo Parker,
and all was aces.
Haiku 6/16
Extra work, the park,
a book, a margarita,
a sugar headache.
Haiku 6/17
It was overcast
and the water was freezing,
but the beach still ruled.
Haiku 6/18
It was hot as nuts
and I had the worst beershits.
Got some writing done.
Haiku 6/19
Worried about work,
'cos they're cutting back hours.
Otherwise, just chilled.
Haiku 6/20
Went to an art show.
I stood on the balcony
and watched the city.
Haiku 6/21
Fucked up resume,
still got the interview call.
This job should rule... NOT!
Haiku 6/22
A creepy dude bar,
and then to a gay punk show.
I ran the gamut.
Haiku 6/23
New England traffic,
and leaving New York traffic.
A bizarre beach town.
Haiku 6/24
Ate a Maine lobster
then panicked at the pitch-black
small town seaside night.
Haiku 6/25
Drank the hangover,
ate the leftovers, hit a
Russian barbecue.
Haiku 6/26
When it's late and drunk,
"No Parking Monday" looks like
"No Parking Sunday."
Haiku 6/27
I often miss home
when I'm on a trip. It's hard
to miss loud neighbors.
Haiku 6/28
Is it a good thing
when Wednesdays feel like Sundays?
I need some more work.
Haiku 6/29
Found a pair of shades
almost just like the sweet ones
I broke last summer.
Haiku 6/30
Ate vegan all day
and ran around the whole park.
...then I got shitfaced.
Haiku 7/1
I thought that the fruit
from the empty sangria
was fruit salad. Eww.
Haiku 7/2
At the beach I saw
Corky from "Life Goes On," and
got a sunburned chest.
Haiku 7/3
It was hot as nuts.
I went for a run, and then
played a decent show.
Haiku 7/4
People next to us
singing patriotic songs
in off harmony.
Haiku 7/5
Sent out resumes,
made stuffed peppers, wrote a bit.
Where did my day go?
Haiku 7/6
Two calls about jobs!
Fired up the slow cooker,
and stayed up too late.
Haiku 7/7
Manager asks me
to "describe your work ethnic."
I don't want the job.
Haiku 7/8
Ladies & gentlemen, people of the press, I ask you:
Which one of these two haikus should be the official Haiku of The Day for July 8th? Leave your vote as a comment...
1.
I don't see new bands,
just the reunions of bands
I liked in high school.
2.
Got doored on my bike
after hanging with Barker
at the Lifetime show.
Haiku 7/9
We biked up to Queens.
Went to an Olympic pool
and a Czech beer hall.
Haiku 7/10
I love the crockpot-
the whole apartment smells tight!
Ate a huge dinner.
Haiku 7/11
Slow cooker all day,
while I was at band practice,
and doing laundry.
Haiku 7/12
My modem's fucked up.
No "How To Tie A Tie" site
for my interview.
Haiku 7/13
Did courier work,
saw free music in the park,
and had nice houseguests.
Haiku 7/14
My friend Mike's in town.
Known him since 7th grade math,
but we get drunk now.
Haiku 7/15
Chicken and waffles,
outdoor food and Art Brut show,
Common on Fulton.
Haiku 7/16
Verrazanno toll
is like eating spicy food -
hurts more going out.
Haiku 7/17
I took three dumps, and
stepped on a little kid's hand.
He was on some stairs.
Haiku 7/18
Oppressively hot.
Stayed in doing freelance work,
took a walk at night.
Haiku 7/19
Had a band practice
in the middle of the day.
Working at home rules.
Haiku 7/20
Got a cameraphone.
The first photo that I took
was of Sharon's boobs.
Haiku 7/21
Woke up in Richmond.
It's real hot in the suburbs.
Went to Mike's wedding.
Haiku 7/22
It's hot in Richmond.
Drove from AC to AC,
even with the clouds.
Haiku 7/23
Man, fuck the Greyhound.
And the guy on his cellphone.
Fuck him too, big time.
Haiku 7/24
Did some freelance work,
signed with a temp agency,
drew a sweet wizard.
Haiku 7/25
Went for a good run -
the weather's been mercyful.
Ate some leftovers.
Haiku 7/26
I think this temp job
wants me to take a drug test.
What do I do now?
Haiku 7/27
Flight to Milwaukee.
Haven't seen Neil in three years.
Tax refund summer!
Haiku 7/28
Off the plane, to the
Black Holocaust Museum
then a Brew'ry tour.
Haiku 7/29
A creepy brownout,
foot blisters, deep-dish pizza,
Nice boobs, Chicago.
Haiku 7/30
Milwaukee sure eats.
A sunburn Sunday street fair.
Milwaukee sure drinks.
Haiku 7/31
On the plane first thing,
sore from the crooked futon.
Had a great visit.
Haiku 8/1
With the heat index,
it's as close to boiling as
it is to freezing.
Haiku 8/2
It was hot as nutz!
Had a dude date to the beach
with good ol' Joey.
Haiku 8/3
To get free healthcare,
I should have worked two hours less.
So damn frustrating.
Haiku 8/4
A triathalon!
Went running, biked to a show,
and walked to a bar.
Haiku 8/5
Going kinda broke,
then I got shortchanged five bucks.
Wound up drunk. The blues!
Haiku 8/6
Freckles on my lips
from all the sun this summer.
They look like ink stains.
Haiku 8/7
Rode to Big George's,
talked to a merchant marine
about Australia.
Haiku 8/8
It's so damn nice out,
even Wythe Ave. was pretty.
That's impossible!
Haiku 8/9
Did some freelance work,
and sent out some resumes.
Hung with Marc and Glenn.
Haiku 8/10
Donuts are hard drugs;
they seem like a fun idea,
but they just hurt you.
Haiku 8/11
I should be sleeping,
but instead I'm haikuing.
Tomorrow I'll hurt.
Haiku 8/12
Three meals of tacos.
Almost beat the hangover.
Sorta took a nap.
Haiku 8/13
I slept the hell in,
and then worked on some writing.
Get better, Sharon.
Haiku 8/14
A temp agency,
a sweet new tattoo design,
awesome comedy.
Haiku 8/15
Computer's fucked up,
what the hell else can go wrong?
It's Caitlin's birthday.
Haiku 8/16
Ravioli soup,
a couple new leads on jobs.
Not optimistic.
Haiku 8/17
Edited my zine.
I'm gonna lay it out soon.
This is exciting.
Haiku 8/18
Coffee, Hall and Oates,
run in the park, interview,
a rooftop party.
Haiku 8/19
Bootleg DVDs,
then a birthday kegger for
Caitlin and Joey.
Haiku 8/20
Damn "Snakes on a Plane"
bootleg stopped in the middle.
I just went to bed.
Haiku 8/21
Scared up a temp job,
dreamed that Manhattan was cool,
copped the new Outkast.
Haiku 8/22
Placing lots of calls,
asking questions about decks.
Temp it up, tempy!
Haiku 8/23
It's weird to be back
on work-run-cook-then sleep mode.
How will next week go?
Haiku 8/24
Phoning this one in
because yesterday was like
the day before it.
Haiku 8/25
Left work at two, to
try and get my head on straight.
So goddamn tired.
Haiku 8/26
Smoked a bunch of hash
then took pictures of my dick.
Yup, I suck at life.
Haiku 8/27
More shitty weather.
I did a ton of cooking,
then layed out my zine.
Haiku 8/28
Big Bank Brooklyn to
Money-makin' Manhattan -
Drinking the cheap stuff.
Haiku 8/29
Got soaked in the rain -
fuck this Noah's Ark bullshit.
Young Brothers first show.
Haiku 8/30
Biked up to Times Square.
When I got to my temp job,
I was sweaty as hell.
Haiku 8/31
I went out to dinner -
the seitan tasted like feet.
Walked home from Times Square.
Haiku 9/1
I fell on my face
while doing the Kid 'n' Play
in my living room.
Haiku 9/2
Slept in, drank coffee.
It's still raining, and so I
went out and got drunk.
Haiku 9/3
Finally sunny.
Biked around all day, drinking
and eating pizza.
Haiku 9/4
I wore myself out
on another long weekend.
Stay in to do work!
Haiku 9/5
Got a "manny" job,
taking care of a toddler.
Things are settling in.
Haiku 9/6
What's worse than waiting?
People fussing about the
line at the PO.
Haiku 9/7
We've come for art films,
learning, and satisfaction.
And we got art films.
Haiku 9/8
At my internship
we rocked Wu-Tang Clan all day,
then I bought some bourbon.
Haiku 9/9
A final beach trip.
A breezy rooftop party.
Summer's winding down.
Haiku 9/10
African drum sesh
on a backyard trampoline
on Atlantic Ave.
Haiku 9/11
If I mention it,
then all the terrorists win,
and The Post shuts up.
Haiku 9/12
Day one of sitting.
The little kid is awesome
and I'm exhausted.
Haiku 9/13
Played a real good show,
and busted out some new songs.
Joey on djembe.
Haiku 9/14
Babysat all day.
My new rap name: Han Dolo.
Got a new TV.
Haiku 9/15
Got parents in town
and bitemarks from then kid I
took care of all day.
Haiku 9/16
My parents came by,
then I went to band practice,
and ate some hot wings.
Haiku 9/17
The best bourbon is
always named after someone's
racist grandfather.
Haiku 9/18
Why does UPS
deliver at the same time
after you're not home?
Haiku 9/19
I'm more productive
when I'm busy as shit. Now
I'm REAL productive.
Haiku 9/20
Freelanced a whole bunch,
went to the grocery store,
then watched "Vacation."
Haiku 9/21
Where do mosquitos
come from when it's September?
They go TO my room...
Haiku 9/22
Does babysitting
and editing Moms make me
metrosexual?
Haiku 9/23
Went apple picking.
A van all the way upstate
rode with sixteen friends.
Haiku 9/24
The bourbon tasting
started at noon, then I got
a flat on my bike.
Haiku 9/25
It's Sharon's birthday.
Was the weird neighbor watching?
Sure as hell hope not.
Haiku 9/26
Pinkeye's almost gone.
Busted out the contacts and
got school-night loaded.
Haiku 9/27
A hangover walk
twice across the neighborhood
in the sweet fall sun.
Haiku 9/28
Had a good bike ride,
looked for the new Lemonheads,
did some voiceover.
Haiku 9/29
Pretty easy day
babysat, made some dinner,
ate lots of dessert.
Haiku 9/30
Biked up to Bushwick
got a fever, some guy tried
to steal my damn bike.
Haiku 10/1
Stayed in bed 'til one,
took a nap at seven, then
back to bed at ten.
Haiku 10/2
Ev'ry night I get
eaten up by mosquitoes.
What the fuck? It's fall!
Haiku 10/3
Got a tattoo of
an orangutan dressed up
as Dr. Watson.
Haiku 10/4
I'm stressed the hell out
working, cooking, and packing
to go see Byers.
Haiku 10/5
Some crockpot cooking,
and packing for my bus trip.
Not a lot happened.
Haiku 10/6
Up at 5 a.m.
and read a lot on the bus.
New England's killer.
Haiku 10/7
Took a nine-mile hike,
and then ate a cheeseburger.
Mancation kicks ass.
Haiku 10/8
We used to come here
in the '80s. Now I'm here
by coincidence.
Haiku 10/9
Took a final hike
to a little waterfall,
then got on the bus.
Haiku 10/10
Back babysitting,
still thinking about hiking.
This walk-up ain't shit.
Haiku 10/11
Stuck on a dark bus,
rain, at the end of the line.
Thanks for the heads up.
Haiku 10/12
The kid wouldn't nap
and I couldn't sleep last night.
What a damn headache.
Haiku 10/13
I was real sleepy
so I watched "Barbarella"
and had a big meal.
Haiku 10/14
Had some band practice,
homemade fried chicken, and then
my old friend, cheap booze.
Haiku 10/15
Oops, woke up early.
An aimless Manhattan walk,
and a huge dinner.
Haiku 10/16
Got rung up wrong and
got a free blazer that I
still couldn't afford.
Haiku 10/17
Saw some comedy.
Got singled out for some "laffs."
Women be shopping.
Haiku 10/18
When freelancing you're
rarely comfie, never bored,
and often worried.
Haiku 10/19
The day just went by,
and there's nothing wrong with that
every now and then.
Haiku 10/20
There's lots of wiggas
living in Cincinnati.
What's crackin', "8 Mile?"
Haiku 10/21
Driving through Cinci
and eating all of Cinci.
Good time, sprawl city.
Haiku 10/22
Well, drank like a champ
under the gray 'nati sky,
and conked out early.
Haiku 10/23
Dude! We got a cat!
He's gray, with blue eyes, like me.
We named his ass Carl.
Haiku 10/24
So fucking windy!
Had to pedal going down
the Manhattan Bridge.
Haiku 10/25
Peanut gallery
at the laundromat hates on
reality shows.
Haiku 10/26
It's gray and windy.
Rode my longboard to Park Slope
and did freelance work.
Haiku 10/27
After band practice
I got all wet biking home
and stayed the hell in.
Haiku 10/28
Sharon spilled her bike
and bled all on her costume.
"A dead Blues Brother."
Haiku 10/29
A perfect Sunday
with time in the park and a
ton of home cooking.
Haiku 10/30
Made a mix CD-
jams for embarrassing dads.
Don Henley, Dire Straits.
Haiku 10/31
Happy Halloween.
A night of staying up late
for no good reason.
Haiku 11/1
Rock cliche Mad Libs.
"We just came off this looooong tour!"
"Thanks for coming out!"
Haiku 11/2
Watched "East of Eden."
James Dean's way overrated.
What a crybaby.
Haiku 11/3
Saw a suit fall down
on the sidewalk in SoHo.
That shit made my day!
Haiku 11/4
Hungover as shit.
Walked to Union Square, made zines,
four-story punk show.
Haiku 11/5
Security guard
at the Jewish Museum
followed us around.
Haiku 11/6
Man, I ate a lot
of food for no good reason.
The Food Lion roars!
Haiku 11/7
Repubs lost the house.
I feel a bit less guilty
cos I didn't vote.
Haiku 11/8
Jalapeno hands
holding my contact lenses
and stinging my eyes.
Haiku 11/9
Seventy degrees?
Not wearing jackets because
global warming rocks!
Haiku 11/10
The cat hit my balls
and the kid I babysit
stepped on my tattoo.
Haiku 11/11
I, slug, ate some grease,
went to the movies, and then
stayed up late, drinking.
Haiku 11/12
Running in the rain
until my feet got soaked and
I wrung out my clothes.
Haiku 11/13
More rain and more sleep,
heating up some leftovers,
watching "CSI."
Haiku 11/14
The job you don't want
is always the first to call.
Misspelled resume.
Haiku 11/15
Fuck Cablevision!
They can't fix my internet
because theirs broke too!
Haiku 11/16
Lots of shit to do
so I'm wasting lots of time
getting nothing done.
Haiku 11/17
Shitfaced in Red Hook,
singing some karaoke
for Evan's birthday.
Haiku 11/18
The cable guy came
while I was busy puking
up water and beer.
Haiku 11/19
The classic slow day
running errands, eating brunch,
and watching cartoons.
Haiku 11/20
What a long-ass day.
Babysitting a fever
that wouldn't go nap.
Haiku 11/21
Part time and short term,
the magic words on CraigsList
when weird job hunting.
Haiku 11/22
Plenty cheeseburgers
Wondering why cool kids all
dress like Garth Algar.
Haiku 11/23
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Woke up and started cooking
then walked in the rain.
Haiku 11/24
More babysitting
and then even more eating.
What a killer rut.
Haiku 11/25
A weekend workday
makes for a weakened chill day
and a night at home.
Haiku 11/26
Until it got dark,
in the park for three hours
walking in a "Q."
Haiku 11/27
Fifty Queens cop shots
Diallo for 2K6
Bet the pigs go free.
Haiku 11/28
Plenty of biking
and ital-vital eating,
plus it never rained.
Haiku 11/29
Nearly December
and it's sixty degrees out.
Al Gore is pissed off!
Haiku 11/30
No real exercise.
57th Street's too far
for a bike commute.
Haiku 12/1
Rabbit rabbit, y'all!
Happy birthday Jeremy,
sweet surprise party.
Haiku 12/2
Cruising along, tired.
Eighteen back-to-back work days.
This is number seven.
Haiku 12/3
When you get locked out,
take a walk in Central Park
while they get the key.
Haiku 12/4
It's finally cold,
giving me an excuse to
park it in a bar.
Haiku 12/5
Didn't do jack shit,
just rode my bike in the cold
and rocked some salmon.
Haiku 12/6
Did some freelance work,
ate Vietnamese seitan,
and that's about it.
Haiku 12/7
At the mattress store
guys talk aboout "Britney's snatch,"
and play Heavy D.
Haiku 12/8
Paper Sisyphus
while these stacks of editing
replenish themselves.
Haiku 12/9
What does "faux dive" mean?
Fratboys in a basement with
eight dollar call drinks.
Haiku 12/10
First night bartending
was exhausting - Second job
I went to that day.
Haiku 12/11
Shut my eyes on foot,
seeing if I can rest while
walking to the train.
Haiku 12/12
Finally slept in,
got to take a bike ride, and
cooked a huge dinner.
Haiku 12/13
Seventeenth day straight
at one job or another.
Making up lost time.
Haiku 12/14
Jogging in the fog
and playing like I'm Frodo
on an epic quest.
Haiku 12/15
Fifty-two minutes
to walk to Houston St. from
Columbus Circle.
Haiku 12/16
Carried a toddler
and a piss-covered kickball
across Canal St.
Haiku 12/17
Bartended again.
It was all cool except for
counting out the drawer.
Haiku 12/18
Anxiety dreams
about friends eating raw meat
geting hit by cars.
Haiku 12/19
My last day of work
until well after Christmas.
Finally rest up.
Haiku 12/20
First day off all month.
Fried chicken and Christmas gifts
with my lady love.
Haiku 12/21
Up at 4:30,
losing my contact lenses
before showering.
Haiku 12/22
Slept ten plus hours.
I love that secondhand smoke,
the rain, and the car.
Haiku 12/23
There's no such thing as
a considerate smoker,
with my lungs involved.
Haiku 12/24
Took a reggae run
Hung with the kegerator
Drew dicks on my face.
Haiku 12/25
Weird conspiracy:
James Brown dies the day before
Jesus's birthday.
Haiku 12/26
Had some Terrytime,
took Sharon to Mamma Zu's,
and then to The Byrd.
Haiku 12/27
Dreamt about mole,
bad talk radio car ride,
took off on my bike.
Haiku 12/28
Didn't do jack shit,
and it felt about perfect
to sit on my ass.
Haiku 12/29
Had a big morning
acting wicked cultural,
then I got some beer.
Haiku 12/30
Rode my bike around
exchanging those xmas gifts
that don't fit my life.
Haiku 12/31
10 9 8 7
6 5 4 3 2 1 and
chocolate fondue!
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