2008 Haiku Diary

5-7-5/365 y'all.

Haiku 1/1/08

Started off proper,
eating good at the potluck
and biking around.

Haiku 1/2

It's windy out. Worrrd.
Work was super-mad wack. Worrrd.
Worked on grad apps. Worrrd.

Haiku 1/3

Got my new glasses
the new prescription is strong
made me off-balance.

Haiku 1/4

Weird dog licks my feet
after eating a dead mouse.
Almitra housesits.

Haiku 1/5

I'll do whatever
Sharon's doing. Except for
like, being a girl.

Haiku 1/6

A healthy balance
of jogging and deep-fried food,
green tea and liquor.

Haiku 1/7

Hail hail laundromat
with your reality shows
Game Boys and fried rice.

Haiku 1/8

Pissed off at my boss
couldn't focus afterwards
ate Korean food.

Haiku 1/9

Grad applications
polishing up my writing
and hoping real hard.

Haiku 1/10

Sat inside writing
until I got cranky and
started deleting.

Haiku 1/11

Think I'm done writing
and not soon enough, my man
driving myself nuts.

Haiku 1/12

I feel like I'm young
and living in the city.
RIP TRAVIS.

Haiku 1/13

Lil' celebration
because I sent off my first
grad application.

Haiku 1/14

Toughest thing ever:
Lifting weights in boxers while
listening to Queen.

Haiku 1/15

Bed at 9:30.
What am I? Geriatric?
Dreamed about coffee.

Haiku 1/16

The heat is broken.
Rum and spaghetti warm me
five blankets in bed.

Haiku 1/17

Life's a lot better
when you're at work for less than
half your waking hours.

Haiku 1/18

Stuck at work again
open bar compensation
makes no sense at all.

Haiku 1/19

Spent four whole hours
writing about how much I
love the Wu-Tang Clan.

Haiku 1/20

Feels like winter out
went to see Kareem and Myles
ate a meatball sub.

Haiku 1/21

Did more grad school stuff.
Prob'ly won't get in at all.
Waste a few haikus.

Haiku 1/22

Writer's group meeting!
Glad to be at it again.
Ideas already.

Haiku 1/23

Stayed home cooking up
tilapia tacos and
QT with Sharon.

Haiku 1/24

Work release party
questionable buffet food
deflicted tuna.

Haiku 1/25

There were a lot of
serial killer looking dudes
at the metal show.

Haiku 1/26

Cigarette party.
Our parents will never know
just what we're up to.

Haiku 1/27

Two longboard missions
plus a walk to the movies.
Still felt chill all day.

Haiku 1/28

Nine hours at work.
Caught attitude for leaving.
Come on grad school. Please?

Haiku 1/29

Extra hungry and
I don't know why. King fishwich,
donuts, potatoes.

Haiku 1/30

So much I can say.
Describe a scene, make jokes, or
knock out opponents.

Haiku 2/1

Stuck at work 'til 8.
Got tipsy and ordered a
Proclaimers CD.

Haiku 2/2

Caught up on reading
and started a new story.
Hardly put on pants.

Haiku 2/3

Eighth grade me's jealous;
Watching graffiti, skating,
"The Low End Theory."

Haiku 2/4

Walking to the train
full of coffee in flurries
and Mexican jazz.

Haiku 2/5

Full of leftovers
hyped up and manic all day
threatening to rain.

Haiku 2/6

Why are birds singing
with a month of winter left?
It is sixty out...

Haiku 2/7

Went to an art play
and thoroughly enjoyed it,
cos I'm cultural.

Haiku 2/8

Super lazy day
VHS tapes of stand-up
beer on the futon.

Haiku 2/9

Two gin sips away
from starting the dance party.
Three from throwing up.

Haiku 2/10

Oh, consequences.
Machiavellian payback
for Catholic juice.

Haiku 2/11

Fifteen degrees out
and the boiler is broken.
Hard times in NY.

Haiku 2/12

The heat's still broken
at least I can't see my breath
slept in a knit cap.

Haiku 2/13

Slush city nonstop
jacked up on cafe negro
fastest jog ever.

Haiku 2/14

Happy Valentine's!
Cooked like crazy for Sharon
and the heat's back on.

Haiku 2/15

Half day on the job
Chinatown bus to Boston
to walk in the wind.

Haiku 2/16

Walked around all day.
Got drunk with some knucklehead
friends from junior high.

Haiku 2/17

Dreary bus ride home
questionable buffet food
hangover sleep-off.

Haiku 2/18

If the bank is closed
then I shouldn't have to work.
Got Popeye's instead.

Haiku 2/19

It's a full moon out
I can't focus or relax.
Should be out howling.

Haiku 2/20

A lunar eclipse
seen from a windy rooftop
by the rape castle.

Haiku 2/21

Got vegan tapas
and then some beer at an old
Village speakeasy.

Haiku 2/22

Barber school haircuts
dickhead move and penishead hair
what you're paying for.

Haiku 2/23

Got the cabbie lost
with my drunk backseat driving.
My cat scratched my face.

Haiku 2/24

Walked around a lot.
Had drinks with a high school friend.
Tipsy DiGiorno.

Haiku 2/25

Life, laundry, lentils
looped the park, landed some work
lauded for rocking.

Haiku 2/26

Baked some yam biscuits
then went out for a drink.
Starting to like gin.

Haiku 2/27

Bolting for the bus
with a stomach full of food.
Belching Mexican.

Haiku 2/28

Work stacked on my desk
couldn't do street meat Thursday
settled for salad.

Haiku 2/29

Late Friday at work
compensated by drinking
with Neil and Jess.

Haiku 3/1

Got pilled the fuck up
and stood outside a nightclub
freezing my ass off.

Haiku 3/2

B65 bus.
We could have walked home and back
for all we waited.

Haiku 3/3

Guess what? It's nice out!
Guess what? I'm in an office!
I'm climate controlled!

Haiku 3/4

Psyched out about school
should be hearing back any day
scared I won't get in.

Haiku 3/5

Ran myself ragged
over the last week or so.
Premium good times.

Haiku 3/6

Wrote all day at work.
Hey, what the hell, I got paid
to be creative.

Haiku 3/7

It's Streetmeat Friday!
The hot sauce was no joke, son.
Our meat's the streetest.

Haiku 3/8

Saw an awning fall
when I was high in the rain.
City Island date.

Haiku 3/9

The Red Hook sunset
supermarket parking lot
big thing of T.P.

Haiku 3/10

Skipped a free rock show
to go and do my laundry.
What happened to me?

Haiku 3/11

Don't slack on your mack.
If you're not down with chilling
then we can't hang out.

Haiku 3/12

Cranking out this zine,
watching it come together,
eating chorizo.

Haiku 3/13

Got some freelance work
editing some filth-flarn-filth
with "sex" in the name.

Haiku 3/14

Got into grad school!
One thing - It’s in Chicago.
Tough decisions soon.

Haiku 3/15

Serious dude date
weed, cheeseburgers, daylight beer
the roof, Prospect Park.

Haiku 3/16

Dicked around the house
thinking about Chicago.
it was dreary out.

Haiku 3/17

Anti St. Patrick’s.
Cooked some Korean food and
didn’t touch a drop.

Haiku 3/18

Got a sweet tattoo
of an angler fish from Myles.
Ill shit from the depths.

Haiku 3/19

Went out with work folks
while coming down with a cold
nodding on the train.

Haiku 3/20

Went to a punk show
saw some old friends, drank whiskey
and secondhand smoked.

Haiku 3/21

Fuckin’ Equinox!
Wind just about crashed my bike
damn winter headcold.

Haiku 3/22

Stupid move alert:
Getting drunk at 5pm
to fight a headcold.

Haiku 3/23

A good tax return
biking around bugging out
nervous energy.

Haiku 3/24

Ill Italian meal
and then walked over the bridge.
New "CSI"s on!

Haiku 3/25

I’m the only March
at the office birthday bash.
They all sang to me.

Haiku 3/26

Made lots of copies
just stacking up my zines like
Lil Wayne stacks paper.

Haiku 3/27

Went to a reading
by an old family friend
for his book release.

Haiku 3/28

I left work early
because I lead a wild life
you don’t understand.

Haiku 3/29

I turned 29
had a fish fry at my place
then saw some burlesque.

Haiku 3/30

Post birthday clean-up.
Guess I’ll wipe the collard greens
off the kitchen wall.

Haiku 3/31

Hank Junior was right
about hangovers hurting
more than they used to.

Haiku 4/1

Writing Group meeting
hoping for some May flowers
soaked to the damn bone.

Haiku 4/2

Busting ass at work.
I’m going to Florida
gotta get ahead.

Haiku 4/3

Stone cold rejected
by my number one school choice.
Chicago’s looming.

Haiku 4/4

Up super early
walking dead in Florida
shuffling with the greys.

Haiku 4/5

Did some old folks stuff
and saw giraffes and cougars
in a tourist trap.

Haiku 4/6

In St. Augustine
running into an old friend
and getting rained on.

Haiku 4/7

A delayed flight home
sugary margaritas
doing freelance work.

Haiku 4/8

Tired. Recovering.
Gonna have no life this week
thanks to freelance work.

Haiku 4/9

Finally well-rested
annoyed at work, feeling my oats
gets me through the day.

Haiku 4/10

Did no work at work,
then got my tattoo shaded.
Ouch! Delirious.

Haiku 4/11

Went out to Newark
to see Sharon's video.
Ate lots of hot wings.

Haiku 4/12

A fancy party
only guy in a t-shirt
full of Manhattans.

Haiku 4/13

Topped off that freelance
and chilled for the afternoon,
relaxing my mind.

Haiku 4/14

So, uh, did laundry
and ate leftover black beans
then died in my sleep.

Haiku 4/15

Anniversary.
Four years with Sharon so far.
We got a pizza.

Haiku 4/16

Worked on some writing.
Proud of those five syllables
want to use them more.

Haiku 4/17

Beers with an old friend.
Sharon and I stayed up late
finishing "The Wire."

Haiku 4/18

Big margarita
tapping my foot on the train
sugared up my night.

Haiku 4/19

Mashed sweet potatoes
stuffed into whole wheat biscuits
served with some salmon.

Haiku 4/20

Played reggae all day
mediocre Tex-Mex food
grape Dutchmaster wrap.

Haiku 4/21

Dry cleaner is late
pushing onto the subway
meeting is canceled.

Haiku 4/22

Leftover lentils
and up late on a school night,
the week crawling by.

Haiku 4/23

Antsy at my job
leftover lentils again
what the fuck ever.

Haiku 4/24

Chilled hard all night long
fighting off my allergies
full of cheddar sauce.

Haiku 4/25

I hope those cops fry-
getting a way with murder.
Sean Bell RIP.

Haiku 4/26

Astoria train.
Spent more time on the subway
then I did hanging.

Haiku 4/27

Epic housecleaning
then went to my friend Reid's and
biked down to Coney.

Haiku 4/28

Catfish dinner jam.
A full-on nerd convention
talking about books.

Haiku 4/29

This one flew right by
full of writing and cooking
and all the big hits.

Haiku 4/30

Wicked tired, dude.
Started nodding at like ten,
couldn't hardly write.

Haiku 5/1

On a work field trip.
Rooms where they test perfume and
a vat of lipstick.

Haiku 5/2

Evening time jogging
when there's less pollen falling
makes breathing better.

Haiku 5/3

Brainworms from Richmond
played two shows in NYC.
Both were bananas.

Haiku 5/4

I got a massage
but with no funny business!
Still feel like jelly.

Haiku 5/5

It's the fifth of May.
Drank tequila before bed,
and woke up sweating.

Haiku 5/6

Ritzy beer garden
a not-ritzy area
abundant douche chills.

Haiku 5/7

It's been a fast year
sad can feel like yesterday.
Rest in peace, Z-Man.

Haiku 5/8

My tattoo's finished
It's almost in my armpit.
That shit fucking hurt!

Haiku 5/9

Ate lots of cookies
while slacking off on the job
then got high at home.

Haiku 5/10

Sharon's video
coffee'd up in the dark
watching bad ones too.

Haiku 5/11

Copied some more zines
went to "Harold and Kumar"
and cooked yam biscuits.

Haiku 5/12

Ran out of work to
go to a daylight punk show.
We need more of these.

Haiku 5/13

Sharon's out of town
so I got real macho and
saw a musical.

Haiku 5/14

Cleaning out my desk
at home knee-deep in papers
pairing down to move.

Haiku 5/15

So bored at my job
I almost want to work to do
tired of internet.

Haiku 5/16

It's a rainy night
walking to bars stumbling home
dreaming damp and slow.

Haiku 5/17

A bachelor party.
Went to bed when it was light out
closed down a strip club.

Haiku 5/18

Still pretty banged up
and just dragging ass all day.
Took some zines to stores.

Haiku 5/19

Think I got pinkeye
sure I'm sick of my job and
happy for Sharon.

Haiku 5/20

Sharon got me cake.
If you're not down wiith chilling,
then we can't hang out.

Haiku 5/21

Burned some fried chicken
made the whole apartment smell
but made my night rule.

Haiku 5/22

Possible layoffs.
If I'm fired before I quit
I'll be furious.

Haiku 5/23

Baton Rouge guest house
antebellum cinderblocks
no ancestor's screams.

Haiku 5/24

Sweating while i eat
in a barn dancing to soul
watching friends get hitched.

Haiku 5/25

Scooby Doo mansion
full of beignets and whiskey
waiting for the ghosts.

Haiku 5/26

Past Mississippi
kindly Jesus freak sculptures
by a small bayou.

Haiku 5/27

Something must be wrong.
Didn't want to leave the south,
wake from the liquor.

Haiku 5/28

Ten hours at work.
Only catching up because
they pay me hourly.

Haiku 5/29

Packing for Richmond
feel like I just left the south.
Well, eh, whatever.

Haiku 5/30

Perfect Richmond night
running my mouth, filling it
holding down the porch.

Haiku 5/31

Out seeing friends
in the heat, under storm clouds.
Get better, Nathan.

Haiku 6/1

Drove back to Brooklyn
getting passenger sunburn
sleeping through Jersey.

Haiku 6/2

Put in my notice
IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER
STABBED WITH A FREELANCE.

Haiku 6/3

Work kinda blew by.
Went out to eat with Kareem
drank beer and shot dice.

Haiku 6/4

Slept through my alarm
for a solid half hour.
Sleepy, compounded.

Haiku 6/5

Skillet mac 'n' cheese
sitting on the floor eating
getting mad primal.

Haiku 6/6

Won't focus at work
got my mind going elsewhere
psyched on the future.

Haiku 6/7

Homemade spaghetti
made a terrific mattress
for booze to sleep on.

Haiku 6/8

Sharon's last day here
chilling outside in the heat
just shocked or something.

Haiku 6/9

Getting rid of my
late '90s coffee maker.
My youth is leaving.

Haiku 6/10

Left my job early
took the train straight to the beach
and was there by two.

Haiku 6/11

I miss my Sharon.
Interviewed my replacement
the tables have turned.

Haiku 6/12

Three hour delay
on my flight to Chicago
to apartment hunt.

Haiku 6/13

Got credit info
then played wth Annie's three dogs
and crashed out early.

Haiku 6/14

I keep comparing
Chicago, Brooklyn, Boston.
It gets confusing.

Haiku 6/15

Flight delayed a bit
endless buses and trains home
my own bed felt good.

Haiku 6/16

Packing some boxes
watching a Chevy Chase flick
hanging with the cat.

Haiku 6/17

Packed all my CDs
then my iPod got erased.
No Wu 'til July.

Haiku 6/18

Pizza and beer session
catching buses to and from
tuned out loud neighbors.

Haiku 6/19

Successor training.
I keep saying "Whatever,"
"It doesn't matter."

Haiku 6/20

Last day at my job.
Skipped dinner, drank until one
didn't get misty.

Haiku 6/21

Wake 'n' bake beach trip
Manhattan enchiladas
nap plus ten hours.

Haiku 6/22

Packed up some more stuff
rained like crazy for a bit
made homemade pizza.

Haiku 6/23

Packed boxes all day.
Tacos with TN and Kat
drowned in tequila.

Haiku 6/24

Put things in boxes.
Put rain on my new sneakers.
Put beer in my mouth.

Haiku 6/25

Sold a ton of books
and then, guess what I did?
I packed some boxes!

Haiku 6/26

Almost done packing.
Wish I had two big boxes
for the random shit.

Haiku 6/27

Ate lots of chicken
and got the itis real bad.
Cured it with coffee.

Haiku 6/28

Sharon's back in town!
Guess what we did? Packed a lot!
And plotted ill shit.

Haiku 6/29

Last day in Brooklyn.
Got rained on at the beach and
went to bed early.

Haiku 6/30

Loaded up the truck
full of boxes and dressers.
Another gray hair.

Haiku 7/1

Got apartment keys,
spent obscene amounts of cash
on food and housewares.

Haiku 7/2

Caught up on some dumps
then jogged down to the lakefront.
Went to bed at 10.

Haiku 7/3

Beer, nachos for lunch.
Sorting out bills and bullshit
weird time difference.

Haiku 7/4

Caved on hot dogs and
biked during fireworks, ducking
stray bottlerockets.

Haiku 7/5

Redpath is in town.
Ate way too much vegan food
my ass paid the price.

Haiku 7/6

Last night for sleeping
on a big pile of blankets.
Moving tomorrow.

Haiku 7/7

Drove the moving truck.
Packed the fucking moving truck.
Filled the apartment.

Haiku 7/8

Unpacked a whole bunch.
And freeballed the whole day long-
even while jogging!

Haiku 7/9

Missed New York a bit
after some temp interviews,
pouting on the train.

Haiku 7/10

Decent interview
toaster oven iron chef
took a reggae jog.

Haiku 7/11

Met some new classmates.
"Married...With Children" fountain
across from my school.

Haiku 7/12

Slip 'n' slide party.
Backyard with a cheeseburger
trying barrel rolls.

Haiku 7/13

Just rested my dogs.
Getting back into biking
is rad but painful.

Haiku 7/14

Got the stove turned on
worked on a little writing
saw a metal show.

Haiku 7/15

Queasy hangover
interview with a midget
losing my damn mind.

Haiku 7/16

Did lots of writing
then winged and made dinner.
It came out awesome.

Haiku 7/17

Fruitful interview.
Got trial days...in August.
Then went to the lake.

Haiku 7/18

Got called in to work
made my first Chicago bucks.
Stayed in broke at night.

Haiku 7/19

Middle aged white dudes
are driving convertibles
all through Chicago.

Haiku 7/20

Caught a chill last night
biking home in the downpour.
Rested up and read.

Haiku 7/21

Hardly left the house.
Dicked around online, half-dressed
and read a whole lot.

Haiku 7/22

Oh the irony.
Reading on insomnia
when sleep's not coming.

Haiku 7/23

Dropped off resumes
at some coffee shops as if
I was still nineteen.

Haiku 7/24

Hung stuff on my walls,
ate five dollar burgers and
played guitars with Seth.

Haiku 7/25

Suburban cookout.
Got drunk, then Neil came to town-
got me drunk again!

Haiku 7/26

Walked with friends in town.
Sweating out the hangover,
full of Elvis toast.

Haiku 7/27

Assorted household
responsiblities and
fun obligations.

Haiku 7/28

Temp job moving files.
It's about as exciting
as you'd imagine.

Haiku 7/29

Moving files again.
Like "American Splendor"
without cool drawings.

Haiku 7/30

Finished my temp job
microwave exploded breakfast
paper cut, sharted.

Haiku 7/31

Feel sick and run down.
Bullshitting around the house
resting up and stuff.

Haiku 8/1

One month in The Chi.
Realized while walking to work.
Things are looking up.

Haiku 8/2

Biked down to the lake
and expected salt water.
Didn't get sticky.

Haiku 8/3

Went to a cookout.
It had an above-ground pool
and pepper poppers.

Haiku 8/4

Siobhan came to town
during the worst thunderstorm.
Sharon's windshield cracked.

Haiku 8/5

Woke up with pinkeye
got lost on my way downtown
they closed the lake beach.

Haiku 8/6

After housecleaning
I went up to the suburbs
to drink sangria.

Haiku 8/7

Actually worked
a full eight hour work day.
I'd do that again.

Haiku 8/8

Recruiter meeting.
Just like the eight other ones.
Papers, promises.

Haiku 8/9

Went to a punk fest
hung like sweat in a basement,
beer in an alley

Haiku 8/10

Made food, took a nap
saw the Meat Puppets outside
and This Is My Fist.

Haiku 8/11

Did some dog walking
lazy through the river park
with a bag of shit.

Haiku 8/12

Worked on some writing
then fucked off all afternoon
and into the night.

Haiku 8/13

The nice little things
my toothpaste was two-for-one
I'm an old man now.

Haiku 8/14

Worked nine-plus hours
walked to some crazy park and
saw some free free jazz.

Haiku 8/15

My sister is in
Hawaii, eloping and
turning twenty-six.

Haiku 8/16

Omelette with sausage
and cauliflower, collards,
fried chicken, taters.

Haiku 8/17

The lake, a punk show.
Crammed in lots of relaxing.
It totally worked.

Haiku 8/18

Worked all day and then
not on the schedule again
until September.

Haiku 8/19

Worked on my writing
until I couldn't see straight,
then read for a while.

Haiku 8/20

Took a long bike ride
to do touristy stuff
downtown in the day.

Haiku 8/21

Making the best of
all these empty afternoons.
Saw outsider art.

Haiku 8/22

Drank some tequila
and smelled a house burning down
then missed the bus home.

Haiku 8/23

Registered for school
pitbull on a trampoline
fire in the lawn.

Haiku 8/24

Ate some eggs and then
went to the lake for a sec.
Topped it off with shrimp.

Haiku 8/25

Sat around broke, bored
feeling sorry for myself,
then saw jazz for free.

Haiku 8/26

Temping for the day.
Supervisor left at three
and I chilled 'til five.

Haiku 8/27

Sold clothes and CDs
ate some leftover meatballs
worked on some writing.

Haiku 8/28

Twelve hour temp gig
helping Niketown swooshbags
go run a 10K.

Haiku 8/29

Overslept big time
and almost missed my flight to
my sister's wedding.

Haiku 8/30

A tasteful take on
a casual reception,
plus hot wing platter.

Haiku 8/31

Hit the Rockaways.
Real beaches have salt water
and loud reggaeton.

Haiku 9/1

No sweat on the flight.
Was greeted at home by a
huge student loan check.

Haiku 9/1

No sweat on the flight.
Was greeted at home by a
huge student loan check.

Haiku 9/2

Long live Nathan Joyce.
You had me convinced you were
gonna beat cancer.

Haiku 9/3

Second day of school.
I'm going wigger this year
so I wore JNCos.

Haiku 9/4

Back to school equals
reintroducing homework
into my schedule.

Haiku 9/5

Night of wandering
to a southside art opening
eating Chinese trays.

Haiku 9/6

Got a new kitten
and he likes our other cat
more than he's liked back.

Haiku 9/7

K-Mart wild goose chase
watching my afternoon fade
blow off coffee steam.

Haiku 9/8

The new kitten's sick
and shitting on both couches.
Not sure about this.

Haiku 9/9

Got woke up by a
screaming 5 a.m. kitten.
He's at the vet now.

Haiku 9/10

Burped eggs while running
then drank too much coffee and
ate Mexican food.

Haiku 9/11

Proofreading then school
didn't see Sharon awake
cat games on the floor.

Haiku 9/12

Got my bike fixed up.
Rain like a motherfucker
kept me from riding.

Haiku 9/13

Housewarming party
lots of beer and fried chicken
and rain seeping in.

Haiku 9/14

Pretty hungover.
Proud to say I can't drink like
I used to back when.

Haiku 9/15

Went to a reading
then worked on my own writing.
No arithmetic.

Haiku 9/16

Ran a few errands,
looking for excuses to
be out in the warmth.

Haiku 9/17

The kitten's farting
and it smells like death and worms
crawling at my feet.

Haiku 9/18

Made a shepherd's pie
and managed to stay awake
through my third night class.

Haiku 9/19

Saw Dillinger 4.
Felt like I was in high school
but in a good way.

Haiku 9/20

Relaxed in the cut
happy because my new zine
got a good review.

Haiku 9/21

Secondhand smoke coughs
singled out for comedy
in the cold A.C.

Haiku 9/22

Got cabin fever
felt strangely on edge all day
was unproductive.

Haiku 9/23

Freelance file's fucked.
On hold with AT+T
for forty minutes.

Haiku 9/24

Ate too much sugar
and woke up feeling my teeth
worn out from grinding.

Haiku 9/25

It's Sharon's birthday!
And I've got work and then class.
Some boyfriend I am.

Haiku 9/26

Slow freelance work day
doing homework at my desk
waiting for the night.

Haiku 9/27

Peanut butter pie
afternoon walking around
Sharon's birthday drinks.

Haiku 9/28

Just felt kinda off
like I wanted to sleep more
but get some shit done.

Haiku 9/29

Drunk couple dancing
knocks into me at Nick Cave.
Gum thrown in her purse.

Haiku 9/30

L'shanah tovah!
Sharon was off work so we
ate deep dish pizza.

Haiku 10/1

Still full from pizza
afternoon doing writing
registered to vote.

Haiku 10/2

Drank plenty root beer
while doing all my homework
and biking to class.

Haiku 10/3

Wrong side of the bed
waiting for late freelance work
getting bit by cats.

Haiku 10/4

Mike Birbiglia.
Neurotic younger brother
doing comedy.

Haiku 10/5

Firm stance against brunch,
but enjoyed that omelette
and extra coffee.

Haiku 10/6

Offered coffee work.
The hours would be shitty
but I can't say no.

Haiku 10/7

Caught in the downpour
soaking my shoes before class
and eating Wendy's.

Haiku 10/8

Doing some freelance
for the "Uncle Buck" high school
out in the suburbs.

Haiku 10/9

Feeling pretty burnt
packing for a weekend trip
involving hot tubs.

Haiku 10/10

Real friendly freelance
a hot tub that won't turn off
bourbon on the floor.

Haiku 10/11

Checked out Madison
ducking fratboys pre-gaming
swinging sledgehammers.

Haiku 10/12

Back to Chicago
could it be feeling like home?
Been here just three months.

Haiku 10/13

Back to the boring
biking out for groceries
cleaning off my desk.

Haiku 10/14

Epic bike flat tire
bumping people on the train
schlepping it back home.

Haiku 10/15

Fucked up Sharon's bike
while out to buy a new bag
cause my old one broke.

Haiku 10/16

More bike debacle
schlepping them both on the train
cyclist Calvary.

Haiku 10/17

Done with the bike shit
ate loads of Mexican food
home in a hail storm.

Haiku 10/18

Longboard flannel jam
root beer-fueled "Gleaming the Cube"
skating A to B.

Haiku 10/19

Spilling ginger ale
on my kitchen floor, eating
skillet mac and cheese.

Haiku 10/20

You can see your breath
on your first venture outside
in the afternoon.

Haiku 10/21

And the heat comes on
hissing and clanking, warning
of winter to come.

Haiku 10/22

Still acclimating
to the Chicago accent
and stifling chuckles.

Haiku 10/23

The first day from hell
would have been tolerable
if asleep by nine.

Haiku 10/24

Freelance day was sweet.
Got paid to see The Mekons
play at a high school.

Haiku 10/25

Went to two parties
fueling my engine with beer
pizza and cupcakes.

Haiku 10/26

Went to the punk shop
and got a Misfits shirt to
wear on Halloween.

Haiku 10/27

Coffeeshop training
I'm totally regressing
twenty one again.

Haiku 10/28

More coffeeshop time
forgot how the smell of grounds
lingers on clothing.

Haiku 10/29

Craving fried chicken
surfing the slow internet
instead of working.

Haiku 10/30

Just going non-stop
from work to homework to school
warehouse bike ride home.

Haiku 10/31

Seth really turned green
so we skipped the party and
ate heaps of fried shrimp.

Haiku 11/1

Drove to Milwaukee.
The sexiest outlet mall
is on the way home.

Haiku 11/2

Computer all day
procrastinating, clicking
going stir crazy.

Haiku 11/3

Finished this freelance
rid of my mental block had
a writing breakthrough.

Haiku 11/4

Up at dawn to vote.
Amazed this is happening
it feels like a dream.

Haiku 11/5

Obama eclipsed
by Jamie Ewing's passing.
Died young, living hard.

Haiku 11/6

Spent all day working
burying my nose in books
covering my thoughts.

Haiku 11/7

Proofread, marked, erased
drew shots, steamed milk, brewed coffee
swept, mopped, wiped...tacos.

Haiku 11/8

Showtime's car got hit
after we had girl's night out
in the wet, raw wind.

Haiku 11/9

Hungover hot mess
listless, useless, slow-going
craving some more sleep.

Haiku 11/10

Amy tattooed me.
The needle kept hitting nerves
making my leg jump.

Haiku 11/11

Once I left the house
it had already got dark
but the rain let up.

Haiku 11/12

Late to the party
and all my friends are wasted
sums up pop culture.

Haiku 11/13

Did lots of writing
that's what I go to school for
and that's what I love.

Haiku 11/14

Got through closing shift
with fried chicken and lotion.
Drank with my classmates.

Haiku 11/15

Saw Bill Cosby with
casino human wreckage.
Still really funny.

Haiku 11/16

Saw video art
on radical history
here in Chicago.

Haiku 11/17

Winter beard day two.
Already leaving slug trails
up in them pantiez.

Haiku 11/18

Drank lots of coffee
walked through my dark neighborhood
ready for winter?

Haiku 11/19

Wind-related names
like "Breezeburg" or "Gustytown"
would do this town well.

Haiku 11/20

Feeling burnt on school
can't focus on my homework
ready for Christmas.

Haiku 11/21

Stupid yuppies talk
about their trip to Ireland
and real estate, natch.

Haiku 11/22

The punk show was cold
security loved their job
the drinks were pricey.

Haiku 11/23

My mom is sixty
her and my Dad are jobless
and I'm worrying.

Haiku 11/24

Back-to-back wing nights.
What the hell was I thinking?
Green tar in the john.

Haiku 11/25

Feeling real restless
need to get some more work done
if I could focus.

Haiku 11/26

Thinking about school
trying too hard to relax
stressing myself out.

Haiku 11/27

Colossal dairy
legendary red jug wine
gigantic stomach.

Haiku 11/28

I wish there was an
military recruiter
at this punk rock bar.

Haiku 11/29

If you mess with me
I'll put clumps of cat litter
in your whiskey cup.

Haiku 11/30

Almost finished with
the Thanksgiving leftovers.
Getting sick of cheese.

Haiku 12/1

Spent the afternoon
watching the city freeze over,
icicles stopping.

Haiku 12/2

Thirteen years ago
my high school punk band played a
battle of the bands.

Haiku 12/3

What a kick-ass day!
Super inspired writing
and Sharon was home.

Haiku 12/4

Long proofreading test.
Grouchy because I'm used to
getting paid for that.

Haiku 12/5

Suburban trek for
Italian beef sandwiches,
freezing train platforms.

Haiku 12/6

Jogging in the snow
procrastinating finals
yuppie pizza jam.

Haiku 12/7

When I go running
it's like recess in grade school
but at double speed.

Haiku 12/8

Coffee job stressing
keep getting petty critiques
"Close like a rock star?!"

Haiku 12/9

Dive bar down by school.
And so much for not drinking on
weeknights after class.

Haiku 12/10

Boiled over shit.
That's how bad sleep makes you feel
after three straight days.

Haiku 12/11

Last day of classes
but I declare fuckery
'cos I still have work.

Haiku 12/12

Wanted to party
fell asleep before midnight
but it sure felt good.

Haiku 12/13

My Grandmother died
and my Dad called it the best
Christmas present yet.

Haiku 12/14

Too much relaxing
balanced out all the homework
and feel full of beer.

Haiku 12/15

Some more sleeping in
making lists of things to do
but not doing them.

Haiku 12/16

On-the-ball returns
productivity is up
checking my lists twice.

Haiku 12/17

Sharon’s gifts to me
are all Wu-Tang Clan approved.
Chess, pull-up bar, soul..


Haiku 12/18

Played guitar at home
forgetting the neighbors and
their shit house music.

Haiku 12/19

Sneaking suspicion
I won't have coffee shop shifts
starting in January.

Haiku 12/20

Rent-a-car fuckers
closed their branch at the airport,
cancelled our rental.

Haiku 12/21

Whole time in the car
on the year's dark, shortest day
the sun going down.

Haiku 12/22

Hanging in Richmond
seeing family and friends.
Had missed the East Coast.

Haiku 12/23

Played out acoustic
for the first time in two years
and had a great time.

Haiku 12/24

It's good to see you.
Yes, it's cold in Chicago
and I'm loving school.

Haiku 12/25

Making drunk snacks and
set off the smoke alarm at
two in the morning.

Haiku 12/26

In the car all day
without visibility
because of the fog.

Haiku 12/27

So fucking sleepy
I spent all day just waiting
to go back to bed.

Haiku 12/28

Crapped away the day
then worked at the coffee shop
where it was real slow.

Haiku 12/29

At two different jobs
jumping right back in after
going out of town.

Haiku 12/30

Made a huge dinner
fell asleep watching "Cosby"
dreamed about Rudy.

Haiku 12/31

When the night includes
bottle rockets, Jack Daniels
and a joint, it's great.

Notes On Haikus

I suck at keeping a diary, but wanted a way to keep track of my day-to-day life. I was reading Snakepit, admiring the economy of the daily three panels, thinking it was like a punk rock haiku. That got me thinking that I should write a haiku every morning. That was December '05. I've written a haiku every day since.

2005 Haikus

Haiku 12/8/05

Fuck I hate my job.
Took bong hits, made a mixtape.
Went to bed early.

Haiku 12/9/05

X rocked at Roseland
while I was kissing my girlfriend
walking home real late.

Haiku 12/10/05

Emailing off my
Teaching Fellows Application
praying for cool work.

Haiku 12/11/05

Wrote a guitar song.
Drank with Michelle and Evan.
Nightmare about work

Haiku 12/12/05

In my writing class
Quang had some great suggestions
Had a cold ride home

Haiku 12/13/05

Lost my job today.
"Does that mean I don't have to
work here anymore?"

Haiku 12/14/05

Coffee and comics
Sending out my resume
Grillo's on a date!

Haiku 12/15/05

Stand-up comedy
Pizza place with take-out beer
Transit strike looming.

Haiku 12/16/05

Photobooth photos
of how I rode my bike home,
skinny legs 'n' all.

Haiku 12/17/05

To bed late, rise soon.
Hangover cures, band practice,
Chinexican food.

Haiku 12/18/05

Two hours upstate
for a museum and an
eerie restaurant.

Haiku 12/19/05

I'm breaking atoms,
Brooklyn to Koreatown,
yelling "Free James Brown!"

Haiku 12/20/05

Good ol' transit strike,
every day I ride my bike.
Nothing new for me.

Haiku 12/21/05

I like Wild Turkey,
shitty jokes, and my girlfriend,
all at the same time.

Haiku 12/22/05

Mac 'n' cheese, string beans,
got drunk, got nine hours of sleep,
still a worried man.

Haiku 12/23/05

Last day at my job,
didn't get into grad school,
what else could go wrong?

Haiku 12/24/05

Richmond, Virginia.
Barely just got home, don't know
why I'm bagging leaves.

Haiku 12/25/05

Senile relatives,
angry relatives, good times,
guitar talk and rain.

Haiku 12/26/05

Traffic's never bad
'til you get real close to home,
and sit for two hours.

Haiku 12/27/05

Don't tell my Mom, but,
when you buy drugs from your friends,
you can write a check.

Haiku 12/28/05

Boston's new and old.
The house I was born in is
blue like it was then.

Haiku 12/29/05

Goodbye to Boston.
Chinatown Dunkin' Donuts,
with half a head cold.

Haiku 12/30/05

Guitar Center, please,
fire the guy that said I look
like Brandon Fraser.

Haiku 12/31/05

Adios '05,
your boy can mix a perfect
Manhattan by eye.

2006 Haiku Diary

Haiku 1/1

What a perfect day.
Horror movie, Mexican food,
and not too sunny.

Haiku 1/2

Japanese bootleg
video games. "Galaga"
is now "Galaza."

Haiku 1/3

Job interview time.
Bust out the ol' Gap sweater,
and tune your guitar.


Haiku 1/4

Dreamt my Dad had a
Bo Diddley guitar with a
bible stuck in it.

Haiku 1/5

Found a part-time job.
Heaven knows I'm mis'rable,
Morrissey was right!

Haiku 1/6

For veggie dumplings,
gamble on sharing tables
at New Green Bo, dude.

Haiku 1/7

This winter's alright.
I haven't worn longjohns once.
Guess I just jinxed it.

Haiku 1/8

Weekends don't mean much
when you only work ten hours
leading up to them.

Haiku 1/9

When you lie awake,
I don't suggest lingering
on past betrayals.

Haiku 1/10

I'm so productive.
I wish that this part time job
could pay the damn rent!

Haiku 1/11

Am I a slackass?
No shower, thanks to Tetris
and an ab workout.

Haiku 1/12

I'm like Sisyphus.
Spent half the day putting back
what I pulled before.

Haiku 1/13

This bar looks like if
a goth teen decorated
her parents' whole house.

Haiku 1/14

Richmond called at 10,
when I was baking cookies,
not sure what to do.

Haiku 1/15

This weekend was great.
I cooked a shitload of food
and bought a guitar.

Haiku 1/16

Sharon, you rule, girl.
Please take me to see Wu-Tang
on Valentine's Day.

Haiku 1/17

Stayed in from the show
to cook and watch "Jason X."
Hell, it was raining.

Haiku 1/18

Got a second job,
an existential nightmare
with a red pencil.

Haiku 1/19

Couldn't sleep last night.
Finished what I was reading,
and lay there, blinking.

Haiku 1/20

Both jobs, ragtime band,
my friends' punk band, bar-hopping,
all on five hours sleep.

Haiku 1/21

My band recorded,
then I went to a party.
Some girl dropped my weed.

Haiku 1/22

I spent the whole day
tripping on magic mushrooms.
I need to slow down.

Haiku 1/23

Try cooking curry
when you've got a bunch of old
veggies in your fridge.

Haiku 1/24

Hit an open mic.
Didn't talk to anyone
but the bartender.

Haiku 1/25

New downstairs neighbor
lets her smoke alarm go off
all the live long day.

Haiku 1/27

People doing coke
look like giant anteaters.
Fun party, lame drugs.

Haiku 1/28

It was so nice out,
but I was in the basement,
recording demos.

Haiku 1/29

It started to rain
when we were leaving the house.
We left anyway.

Haiku 1/30

Only had one drink,
ran three miles, had no fried food,
and feel really good.

Haiku 1/31

Played that open mic
that I talked about last week.
Biked home in the rain.


Haiku 2/1

Peach quesadillas
sure put me in a good mood.
Here's to you, black beans!

Haiku 2/2

Finish up your work,
the plane to Puerto Rico
leaves just before dawn.

Haiku 2/3

On the plane at 5
"Walk the Line" was the in-flight
Already sunburned.

Haiku 2/4

Gallos, platanos
tele en el hotele,
y ron sabroso.

Haiku 2/5

The beach in the rain
is still pretty fucking sweet.
Kinda miss veggies.

Haiku 2/6

Sacamos fotos
en un cementerio,
en un gran playa.

Haiku 2/7

Boring plane ride home,
unpacked, rocked Cody Chesnutt,
destroyed the bathroom.

Haiku 2/8

Work computer's down,
other job wants more hours,
friends in town backed out.

Haiku 2/9

Great head-butt, Jamie.
It looks like a herpes sore
on my lower lip.

Haiku 2/10

Going to Philly
to see Wu-Tang tomorrow.
36 Chambers!

Haiku 2/11

Wu-Tang in Philly,
then "Bride of Chucky" was on.
Happy birthday, Dad!

Haiku 2/12

Big fucking snowstorm!
Bus drivers still won't slow down,
but we're home on time.

Haiku 2/13

All these things to do
fill my head and keep me from
doing anything.

Haiku 2/14

V-Day was a bust.
I tried to paint the bedroom,
and Sharon was sick.

Haiku 2/15

I called in to work
so I could finish painting.
Don't tell anyone!

Haiku 2/16

I hung up some shelves.
We moved in eight months ago,
so it was high time.

Haiku 2/17

Ever just stay in
'cos you think you're getting sick,
then just get hyper?

Haiku 2/18

Ate a lot of beans
and hung with Shauna and Matt.
It was cold as fuck!

Haiku 2/19

When you cook a bunch,
try to make the bath towels
smell like fried chicken.

Haiku 2/20

Got a bad night's sleep,
treated my stomach bad, and
saw bad comedy.

Haiku 2/21

I got drunk on wine.
All Strangers played a great show
at a good potluck.

Haiku 2/22

I work from home, and
my neighbor likes reggaeton.
Callate, cono!

Haiku 2/23

In the studio
until one, working on the
All Strangers demo.

Haiku 2/24

Tacos for dinner,
hilarious bus driver,
scary cab driver.

Haiku 2/25

Tacos for breakfast,
and hung out with my parents.
Also saw Liza!

Haiku 2/26

No tacos today,
just band practice and oatmeal.
Watched "Pink Panther," too.

Haiku 2/27

Some days just go by.
Nothing funny or crappy,
just work, eat, and sleep.


Haiku 2/28

Put in my notice!
ROCK 'N' ROLL WILL NEVER DIE!
Take that, shitty job!

Haiku 3/1

Drunk guy by the store
is singing Luther Vandross
while we're walking home.

Haiku 3/2

Right after dinner,
I organized my closet
while I was all high.

Haiku 3/3

When Sharon's not home,
I cook meat and listen to
music that she hates.

Haiku 3/4

Saw The Smoking Popes,
and the Curious George flick.
Hear that? Best day ever.

Haiku 3/5

Slept in like crazy,
and got nothing done all day.
Couldn't even sleep.

Haiku 3/6

Man was I tired,
on autopilot all day.
Finished my book, though.

Haiku 3/7

Red wine marinade,
garlic mayo sauce, and a
book by Chester Himes.

Haiku 3/8

Took the day off work
because it's Sharon's spring break.
Rode our bikes around.

Haiku 3/9

Found a light up cross
by a church on Washington.
Brought it home. Creepy!

Haiku 3/10

Some nice-ass weather!
Nothing to do but drink beer!
Springtime in New York!

Haiku 3/11

Ate Veggie Castle,
walked home, biked to a soul night
at a soulless bar.

Haiku 3/12

Bad day, thanks to a
fucking allergy attack.
I hardly went out.

Haiku 3/13

I quit my dumb job
and stayed up 'til 3 mixing
the All Strangers stuff.

Haiku 3/14

My new rule of thumb:
Only go to restaurants
that fat people like.

Haiku 3/15

My temp job is doomed,
but my "Beavis and Butthead"
DVDs did come.

Haiku 3/16

Read. Push-ups. Coffee.
Work. Jog. Lunch. Laundry. More work.
DVD. Punk show.

Haiku 3/17

Finally checked out
the liquor store with the huge
rum pirate out front.

Haiku 3/18

Had to drown a mouse.
Got a tracksuit from Caitlin.
What a weird/cool day.

Haiku 3/19

Next year, my parents
are moving back to Boston.
Get outta the south!

Haiku 3/20

The post office line
was so long, my MP3
battery ran out.

Haiku 3/21

Did some temp work for
the folks I work from home for.
Then I worked at home.

Haiku 3/22

Working lots this week,
saving for when I don't work,
and I just worry.

Haiku 3/23

I worked ten hours
on one website. I think my
eyes are gonna cross.

Haiku 3/24

Whatchoo know about
a nineteen hundred dollar
tax return, sucka?

Haiku 3/25

I paced myself well.
Drank a lot of shitty beer
and secondhand smoke.

Haiku 3/26

I worked a lot, but
still had a lazy Sunday.
It's a crime not to.


Haiku 3/27

I should have changed pants.
My "work jeans" got all smoky
over the weekend.

Haiku 3/28

Yo! Thank you, Ghostface,
for dropping a fly album
right by my birthday.

Haiku 3/29

I'm twenty-seven!
Started my year clear-headed;
worked hard, exercised.

Haiku 3/30

Walked through the city,
and then I rode my longboard
through my neighborhood.

Haiku 3/31

The Westside Highway
bike path shoots up Manhattan
like spice through your tongue.

Haiku 4/1

Two trays of nachos!
This includes three bags of chips,
and four bags of cheese.

Haiku 4/2

Nachos, two new songs,
skateboarding, nice-ass weather,
Jamaican shower.

Haiku 4/3

Sat up late, reading.
And I saw Bobcat Goldthwaite
walking down Broadway.

Haiku 4/4

I crave free time, but
when I get it, why do I
just piss it away?

Haiku 4/5

There's no telling if
I'll want to be creative
when I have the time.

Haiku 4/6

Young bar folks get all
nostalgic for alt-rock songs
I'm too old to like.

Haiku 4/7

Saw The Hold Steady!
Sharon said I was the most
ethnic person there.

Haiku 4/8

Had a hangover.
I gave myself a tattoo
and had some houseguests.

Haiku 4/9

It's between winter
and the allergy season.
A grace period.

Haiku 4/10

Did you ever drink
bourbon from hollow chocolate
Easter Bunny heads?

Haiku 4/11

There's a bottle of
Remy in the food photos
at the Chinese spot.

Haiku 4/12

Celebrated our
anniversary, watching
"Reno 911."

Haiku 4/13

My sister's moving
in a neighborhood over.
I made stuffed peppers.

Haiku 4/14

Sat in traffic for
four hours and I had an
allergy attack.

Haiku 4/15

My old band played a
reunion show in Richmond.
It was really fun.

Haiku 4/16

Lost my voice last night,
and spent the afternoon in
my parents' crawlspace.

Haiku 4/17

Went to a high school,
spoke to a class about zines.
Still freaked out by jocks.

Haiku 4/18

Pervert's holding up
nudie photos from his car.
I'm on the Greyhound.

Haiku 4/19

Left my phone at work,
then returned Matt's Metrocard.
Made two trips back.

Haiku 4/20

Dude, it's four-twenty!
I cleared the bong twice before
heading off to work.

Haiku 4/21

Pulled a skater punk
up through Bed-Stuy on my bike
on my way back home.

Haiku 4/22

Felt sick and sneezy.
Got Tigerbalm in my eye,
and watched "ATL."


Haiku 4/23

When the rain let up,
we rode bikes into Crown Heights
for some ital food.

Haiku 4/24

A little-known fact:
An hour of air hockey
is really tiring.

Haiku 4/25

Lew, Drew and me jumped
the Coney Island gun. Cheap
beer's back in my life.

Haiku 4/26

I dreamed I pissed blood.
That'll sure fuck up your day.
I blame the pollen.

Haiku 4/27

Know what I'm sick of?
Sneezing! Fucking sneezing! Ugh!
I'll run out of snot!

Haiku 4/28

Bar's got weak drinks, a
four dollar photo booth, and
dress shirts. I'm leaving.

Haiku 4/29

I played music with
Kareem, Myles and Marc today.
Good times, loud guitars.

Haiku 4/30

Blugh. Sat on my ass
doing extra freelance work.
Not much to report.

Haiku 5/1

Lord, please help me stop
listening to Hall & Oates
over and over.

Haiku 5/2

Working at home is
kinda lonesome, but better
than dealing with jerks.

Haiku 5/3

Why'd it start to rain
when I was gonna go skate?
Meh, guess I'll just bike.

Haiku 5/4

Well-fed pink men say
"Fuckentwelvepackgoateeman"
in ol' Virginia.

(*for Meeo)*

Haiku 5/5

I'm a grizzly bear.
I just eat a lot of fish
and hang out alone.


Haiku 5/6

Harlem walking tour.
Saw where my grandma hung out.
It's an IHOP now.

Haiku 5/7

When you work at home,
the city is yours, but you
share on the weekend.

Haiku 5/8

Got a bunch of zines
and fell asleep reading them
on the couch at nine.

Haiku 5/9

Sharon woke me up
so there'd be a new haiku
when she got to work.

Haiku 5/10

Yes! Stuffed pepper date!
"Grandma's Boy" on DVD,
and Table Talk pies!

Haiku 5/11

Why did the cops tail
me when I was out riding
my bike in the park?

Haiku 5/12

Got gay married
to get some health insurance.
Shit's cruising along.

Haiku 5/13

Had some friends in town.
Goddamn did I eat a lot.
By "eat" I mean "drink."

Haiku 5/14

Glad I'm not used to
the hangovers anymore,
but damn do they hurt.

Haiku 5/15

With all this free time,
you'd think I'd write more than just
a haiku a day.

Haiku 5/16

Emergency room
was too busy, so we left
and bought Jack Daniel's.

Haiku 5/17

Wow, what a fun night!
Art, slider burgers, and a
German beer garden.

Haiku 5/18

I cooked four courses
and not one of them was fried!
I'm losing my touch.

Haiku 5/19

Went drinking again.
Wow, what will I think of next?
Hangovers rock ass!

Haiku 5/20

The dance party ruled!
I made the floor electric
to Miami bass.

Haiku 5/21

Slept 'til noon cos I
went to a dance party and
spilled beer on my Clark's.

Haiku 5/22

I worked, read, and cooked.
Hugel came by for a bit,
we watched "CSI."

Haiku 5/23

The glare of the sun
was so strong that I hardly
got home from the park.

Haiku 5/24

Yesterday's was "emo."
I meant that the weather's sweet,
and Prospect Park rules.

Haiku 5/25

Went to a weird show.
Made me glad I don't still tour.
My ears are ringing.

Haiku 5/26

I made a collage
of porn and religious tracts,
then drew a skater.

Haiku 5/27

Helped my sister move,
then got four drinks spilled on me
at a "dance" party.

Haiku 5/28

At a cookout, got
two sets of balls on my head
at the same damn time.

Haiku 5/29

Got hot overnight.
I cut the sleeves off some shirts,
and ditched out on socks.

Haiku 5/30

A new way to say
"Worked, took a bike ride, cooked, chilled"
would be most welcome.

Haiku 5/31

Went to see Team Dresch.
Brought back punk house memories
while they owned the stage.

Haiku 6/1

I stayed in to rest.
It was a long week of fun,
and I'm partied out.


Haiku 6/2

The sky opened up
down by Empire Boulevard.
Soaked and far from home.

Haiku 6/3

It was all rainy.
I got full of cheezburgerz,
and did some writing.

Haiku 6/4

It's good to go out
on Sunday nights. Keeps Fox shows
from taking over.

Haiku 6/5

Neighborhood kids say
"Hey mister, do a kickflip!"
when I'm out skating.

Haiku 6/6

It's 6/6/06!
Went out looking for LARPers.
Not much going on.

Haiku 6/7

I appreciate
a big dinner, a bongload,
and a few whiskeys.

Haiku 6/8

Popping pills to sleep,
fucking neighbors all outside,
radio still plays.

Haiku 6/9

This Green Day CD
is so old that the songs don't
come up on iTunes.

Haiku 6/10

I got a fever
and couldn't go see Dungen.
How shitty is that?

Haiku 6/11

I dreamt my old job
was in a high school classroom.
It made perfect sense.

Haiku 6/12

With no appetite,
I'm a shadow of myself.
I hate being sick.

Haiku 6/13

Raymond Chandler makes
me wish for a past era
I'd never live in.

Haiku 6/14

My Grandma's dying,
my job's cutting my hours,
and my new band rules.

Haiku 6/15

Slept bad, worked too much,
then saw Maceo Parker,
and all was aces.

Haiku 6/16

Extra work, the park,
a book, a margarita,
a sugar headache.

Haiku 6/17

It was overcast
and the water was freezing,
but the beach still ruled.

Haiku 6/18

It was hot as nuts
and I had the worst beershits.
Got some writing done.

Haiku 6/19

Worried about work,
'cos they're cutting back hours.
Otherwise, just chilled.

Haiku 6/20

Went to an art show.
I stood on the balcony
and watched the city.

Haiku 6/21

Fucked up resume,
still got the interview call.
This job should rule... NOT!

Haiku 6/22

A creepy dude bar,
and then to a gay punk show.
I ran the gamut.

Haiku 6/23

New England traffic,
and leaving New York traffic.
A bizarre beach town.

Haiku 6/24

Ate a Maine lobster
then panicked at the pitch-black
small town seaside night.

Haiku 6/25

Drank the hangover,
ate the leftovers, hit a
Russian barbecue.

Haiku 6/26

When it's late and drunk,
"No Parking Monday" looks like
"No Parking Sunday."

Haiku 6/27

I often miss home
when I'm on a trip. It's hard
to miss loud neighbors.

Haiku 6/28

Is it a good thing
when Wednesdays feel like Sundays?
I need some more work.


Haiku 6/29

Found a pair of shades
almost just like the sweet ones
I broke last summer.

Haiku 6/30

Ate vegan all day
and ran around the whole park.
...then I got shitfaced.

Haiku 7/1

I thought that the fruit
from the empty sangria
was fruit salad. Eww.

Haiku 7/2

At the beach I saw
Corky from "Life Goes On," and
got a sunburned chest.

Haiku 7/3

It was hot as nuts.
I went for a run, and then
played a decent show.

Haiku 7/4

People next to us
singing patriotic songs
in off harmony.

Haiku 7/5

Sent out resumes,
made stuffed peppers, wrote a bit.
Where did my day go?

Haiku 7/6

Two calls about jobs!
Fired up the slow cooker,
and stayed up too late.

Haiku 7/7

Manager asks me
to "describe your work ethnic."
I don't want the job.

Haiku 7/8

Ladies & gentlemen, people of the press, I ask you:
Which one of these two haikus should be the official Haiku of The Day for July 8th? Leave your vote as a comment...

1.
I don't see new bands,
just the reunions of bands
I liked in high school.

2.
Got doored on my bike
after hanging with Barker
at the Lifetime show.

Haiku 7/9

We biked up to Queens.
Went to an Olympic pool
and a Czech beer hall.

Haiku 7/10

I love the crockpot-
the whole apartment smells tight!
Ate a huge dinner.


Haiku 7/11

Slow cooker all day,
while I was at band practice,
and doing laundry.

Haiku 7/12

My modem's fucked up.
No "How To Tie A Tie" site
for my interview.

Haiku 7/13

Did courier work,
saw free music in the park,
and had nice houseguests.

Haiku 7/14

My friend Mike's in town.
Known him since 7th grade math,
but we get drunk now.

Haiku 7/15

Chicken and waffles,
outdoor food and Art Brut show,
Common on Fulton.

Haiku 7/16

Verrazanno toll
is like eating spicy food -
hurts more going out.

Haiku 7/17

I took three dumps, and
stepped on a little kid's hand.
He was on some stairs.

Haiku 7/18

Oppressively hot.
Stayed in doing freelance work,
took a walk at night.

Haiku 7/19

Had a band practice
in the middle of the day.
Working at home rules.

Haiku 7/20

Got a cameraphone.
The first photo that I took
was of Sharon's boobs.

Haiku 7/21

Woke up in Richmond.
It's real hot in the suburbs.
Went to Mike's wedding.

Haiku 7/22

It's hot in Richmond.
Drove from AC to AC,
even with the clouds.

Haiku 7/23

Man, fuck the Greyhound.
And the guy on his cellphone.
Fuck him too, big time.

Haiku 7/24

Did some freelance work,
signed with a temp agency,
drew a sweet wizard.

Haiku 7/25

Went for a good run -
the weather's been mercyful.
Ate some leftovers.

Haiku 7/26

I think this temp job
wants me to take a drug test.
What do I do now?

Haiku 7/27

Flight to Milwaukee.
Haven't seen Neil in three years.
Tax refund summer!

Haiku 7/28

Off the plane, to the
Black Holocaust Museum
then a Brew'ry tour.

Haiku 7/29

A creepy brownout,
foot blisters, deep-dish pizza,
Nice boobs, Chicago.

Haiku 7/30

Milwaukee sure eats.
A sunburn Sunday street fair.
Milwaukee sure drinks.

Haiku 7/31

On the plane first thing,
sore from the crooked futon.
Had a great visit.

Haiku 8/1

With the heat index,
it's as close to boiling as
it is to freezing.

Haiku 8/2

It was hot as nutz!
Had a dude date to the beach
with good ol' Joey.

Haiku 8/3

To get free healthcare,
I should have worked two hours less.
So damn frustrating.

Haiku 8/4

A triathalon!
Went running, biked to a show,
and walked to a bar.

Haiku 8/5

Going kinda broke,
then I got shortchanged five bucks.
Wound up drunk. The blues!

Haiku 8/6

Freckles on my lips
from all the sun this summer.
They look like ink stains.


Haiku 8/7

Rode to Big George's,
talked to a merchant marine
about Australia.

Haiku 8/8

It's so damn nice out,
even Wythe Ave. was pretty.
That's impossible!

Haiku 8/9

Did some freelance work,
and sent out some resumes.
Hung with Marc and Glenn.

Haiku 8/10

Donuts are hard drugs;
they seem like a fun idea,
but they just hurt you.

Haiku 8/11

I should be sleeping,
but instead I'm haikuing.
Tomorrow I'll hurt.

Haiku 8/12

Three meals of tacos.
Almost beat the hangover.
Sorta took a nap.

Haiku 8/13

I slept the hell in,
and then worked on some writing.
Get better, Sharon.

Haiku 8/14

A temp agency,
a sweet new tattoo design,
awesome comedy.

Haiku 8/15

Computer's fucked up,
what the hell else can go wrong?
It's Caitlin's birthday.

Haiku 8/16

Ravioli soup,
a couple new leads on jobs.
Not optimistic.

Haiku 8/17

Edited my zine.
I'm gonna lay it out soon.
This is exciting.

Haiku 8/18

Coffee, Hall and Oates,
run in the park, interview,
a rooftop party.

Haiku 8/19

Bootleg DVDs,
then a birthday kegger for
Caitlin and Joey.

Haiku 8/20

Damn "Snakes on a Plane"
bootleg stopped in the middle.
I just went to bed.

Haiku 8/21

Scared up a temp job,
dreamed that Manhattan was cool,
copped the new Outkast.

Haiku 8/22

Placing lots of calls,
asking questions about decks.
Temp it up, tempy!

Haiku 8/23

It's weird to be back
on work-run-cook-then sleep mode.
How will next week go?

Haiku 8/24

Phoning this one in
because yesterday was like
the day before it.

Haiku 8/25

Left work at two, to
try and get my head on straight.
So goddamn tired.

Haiku 8/26

Smoked a bunch of hash
then took pictures of my dick.
Yup, I suck at life.

Haiku 8/27

More shitty weather.
I did a ton of cooking,
then layed out my zine.

Haiku 8/28

Big Bank Brooklyn to
Money-makin' Manhattan -
Drinking the cheap stuff.

Haiku 8/29

Got soaked in the rain -
fuck this Noah's Ark bullshit.
Young Brothers first show.

Haiku 8/30

Biked up to Times Square.
When I got to my temp job,
I was sweaty as hell.

Haiku 8/31

I went out to dinner -
the seitan tasted like feet.
Walked home from Times Square.

Haiku 9/1

I fell on my face
while doing the Kid 'n' Play
in my living room.

Haiku 9/2

Slept in, drank coffee.
It's still raining, and so I
went out and got drunk.


Haiku 9/3

Finally sunny.
Biked around all day, drinking
and eating pizza.

Haiku 9/4

I wore myself out
on another long weekend.
Stay in to do work!

Haiku 9/5

Got a "manny" job,
taking care of a toddler.
Things are settling in.

Haiku 9/6

What's worse than waiting?
People fussing about the
line at the PO.

Haiku 9/7

We've come for art films,
learning, and satisfaction.
And we got art films.

Haiku 9/8

At my internship
we rocked Wu-Tang Clan all day,
then I bought some bourbon.

Haiku 9/9

A final beach trip.
A breezy rooftop party.
Summer's winding down.

Haiku 9/10

African drum sesh
on a backyard trampoline
on Atlantic Ave.

Haiku 9/11

If I mention it,
then all the terrorists win,
and The Post shuts up.

Haiku 9/12

Day one of sitting.
The little kid is awesome
and I'm exhausted.

Haiku 9/13

Played a real good show,
and busted out some new songs.
Joey on djembe.

Haiku 9/14

Babysat all day.
My new rap name: Han Dolo.
Got a new TV.

Haiku 9/15

Got parents in town
and bitemarks from then kid I
took care of all day.

Haiku 9/16

My parents came by,
then I went to band practice,
and ate some hot wings.

Haiku 9/17

The best bourbon is
always named after someone's
racist grandfather.

Haiku 9/18

Why does UPS
deliver at the same time
after you're not home?

Haiku 9/19

I'm more productive
when I'm busy as shit. Now
I'm REAL productive.

Haiku 9/20

Freelanced a whole bunch,
went to the grocery store,
then watched "Vacation."

Haiku 9/21

Where do mosquitos
come from when it's September?
They go TO my room...

Haiku 9/22

Does babysitting
and editing Moms make me
metrosexual?

Haiku 9/23

Went apple picking.
A van all the way upstate
rode with sixteen friends.

Haiku 9/24

The bourbon tasting
started at noon, then I got
a flat on my bike.

Haiku 9/25

It's Sharon's birthday.
Was the weird neighbor watching?
Sure as hell hope not.

Haiku 9/26

Pinkeye's almost gone.
Busted out the contacts and
got school-night loaded.

Haiku 9/27

A hangover walk
twice across the neighborhood
in the sweet fall sun.

Haiku 9/28

Had a good bike ride,
looked for the new Lemonheads,
did some voiceover.

Haiku 9/29

Pretty easy day
babysat, made some dinner,
ate lots of dessert.


Haiku 9/30

Biked up to Bushwick
got a fever, some guy tried
to steal my damn bike.

Haiku 10/1

Stayed in bed 'til one,
took a nap at seven, then
back to bed at ten.

Haiku 10/2

Ev'ry night I get
eaten up by mosquitoes.
What the fuck? It's fall!

Haiku 10/3

Got a tattoo of
an orangutan dressed up
as Dr. Watson.

Haiku 10/4

I'm stressed the hell out
working, cooking, and packing
to go see Byers.

Haiku 10/5

Some crockpot cooking,
and packing for my bus trip.
Not a lot happened.

Haiku 10/6

Up at 5 a.m.
and read a lot on the bus.
New England's killer.

Haiku 10/7

Took a nine-mile hike,
and then ate a cheeseburger.
Mancation kicks ass.

Haiku 10/8

We used to come here
in the '80s. Now I'm here
by coincidence.

Haiku 10/9

Took a final hike
to a little waterfall,
then got on the bus.

Haiku 10/10

Back babysitting,
still thinking about hiking.
This walk-up ain't shit.

Haiku 10/11

Stuck on a dark bus,
rain, at the end of the line.
Thanks for the heads up.

Haiku 10/12

The kid wouldn't nap
and I couldn't sleep last night.
What a damn headache.

Haiku 10/13

I was real sleepy
so I watched "Barbarella"
and had a big meal.

Haiku 10/14

Had some band practice,
homemade fried chicken, and then
my old friend, cheap booze.

Haiku 10/15

Oops, woke up early.
An aimless Manhattan walk,
and a huge dinner.

Haiku 10/16

Got rung up wrong and
got a free blazer that I
still couldn't afford.

Haiku 10/17

Saw some comedy.
Got singled out for some "laffs."
Women be shopping.

Haiku 10/18

When freelancing you're
rarely comfie, never bored,
and often worried.

Haiku 10/19

The day just went by,
and there's nothing wrong with that
every now and then.

Haiku 10/20

There's lots of wiggas
living in Cincinnati.
What's crackin', "8 Mile?"

Haiku 10/21

Driving through Cinci
and eating all of Cinci.
Good time, sprawl city.

Haiku 10/22

Well, drank like a champ
under the gray 'nati sky,
and conked out early.

Haiku 10/23

Dude! We got a cat!
He's gray, with blue eyes, like me.
We named his ass Carl.

Haiku 10/24

So fucking windy!
Had to pedal going down
the Manhattan Bridge.

Haiku 10/25

Peanut gallery
at the laundromat hates on
reality shows.

Haiku 10/26

It's gray and windy.
Rode my longboard to Park Slope
and did freelance work.


Haiku 10/27

After band practice
I got all wet biking home
and stayed the hell in.

Haiku 10/28

Sharon spilled her bike
and bled all on her costume.
"A dead Blues Brother."

Haiku 10/29

A perfect Sunday
with time in the park and a
ton of home cooking.

Haiku 10/30

Made a mix CD-
jams for embarrassing dads.
Don Henley, Dire Straits.

Haiku 10/31

Happy Halloween.
A night of staying up late
for no good reason.

Haiku 11/1

Rock cliche Mad Libs.
"We just came off this looooong tour!"
"Thanks for coming out!"

Haiku 11/2

Watched "East of Eden."
James Dean's way overrated.
What a crybaby.

Haiku 11/3

Saw a suit fall down
on the sidewalk in SoHo.
That shit made my day!

Haiku 11/4

Hungover as shit.
Walked to Union Square, made zines,
four-story punk show.

Haiku 11/5

Security guard
at the Jewish Museum
followed us around.

Haiku 11/6

Man, I ate a lot
of food for no good reason.
The Food Lion roars!

Haiku 11/7

Repubs lost the house.
I feel a bit less guilty
cos I didn't vote.

Haiku 11/8

Jalapeno hands
holding my contact lenses
and stinging my eyes.

Haiku 11/9

Seventy degrees?
Not wearing jackets because
global warming rocks!

Haiku 11/10

The cat hit my balls
and the kid I babysit
stepped on my tattoo.

Haiku 11/11

I, slug, ate some grease,
went to the movies, and then
stayed up late, drinking.

Haiku 11/12

Running in the rain
until my feet got soaked and
I wrung out my clothes.

Haiku 11/13

More rain and more sleep,
heating up some leftovers,
watching "CSI."

Haiku 11/14

The job you don't want
is always the first to call.
Misspelled resume.

Haiku 11/15

Fuck Cablevision!
They can't fix my internet
because theirs broke too!

Haiku 11/16

Lots of shit to do
so I'm wasting lots of time
getting nothing done.

Haiku 11/17

Shitfaced in Red Hook,
singing some karaoke
for Evan's birthday.

Haiku 11/18

The cable guy came
while I was busy puking
up water and beer.

Haiku 11/19

The classic slow day
running errands, eating brunch,
and watching cartoons.

Haiku 11/20

What a long-ass day.
Babysitting a fever
that wouldn't go nap.

Haiku 11/21

Part time and short term,
the magic words on CraigsList
when weird job hunting.

Haiku 11/22

Plenty cheeseburgers
Wondering why cool kids all
dress like Garth Algar.


Haiku 11/23

Happy Birthday, Mom.
Woke up and started cooking
then walked in the rain.

Haiku 11/24

More babysitting
and then even more eating.
What a killer rut.

Haiku 11/25

A weekend workday
makes for a weakened chill day
and a night at home.

Haiku 11/26

Until it got dark,
in the park for three hours
walking in a "Q."

Haiku 11/27

Fifty Queens cop shots
Diallo for 2K6
Bet the pigs go free.

Haiku 11/28

Plenty of biking
and ital-vital eating,
plus it never rained.

Haiku 11/29

Nearly December
and it's sixty degrees out.
Al Gore is pissed off!

Haiku 11/30

No real exercise.
57th Street's too far
for a bike commute.

Haiku 12/1

Rabbit rabbit, y'all!
Happy birthday Jeremy,
sweet surprise party.

Haiku 12/2

Cruising along, tired.
Eighteen back-to-back work days.
This is number seven.

Haiku 12/3

When you get locked out,
take a walk in Central Park
while they get the key.

Haiku 12/4

It's finally cold,
giving me an excuse to
park it in a bar.

Haiku 12/5

Didn't do jack shit,
just rode my bike in the cold
and rocked some salmon.

Haiku 12/6

Did some freelance work,
ate Vietnamese seitan,
and that's about it.

Haiku 12/7

At the mattress store
guys talk aboout "Britney's snatch,"
and play Heavy D.

Haiku 12/8

Paper Sisyphus
while these stacks of editing
replenish themselves.

Haiku 12/9

What does "faux dive" mean?
Fratboys in a basement with
eight dollar call drinks.

Haiku 12/10

First night bartending
was exhausting - Second job
I went to that day.

Haiku 12/11

Shut my eyes on foot,
seeing if I can rest while
walking to the train.

Haiku 12/12

Finally slept in,
got to take a bike ride, and
cooked a huge dinner.

Haiku 12/13

Seventeenth day straight
at one job or another.
Making up lost time.

Haiku 12/14

Jogging in the fog
and playing like I'm Frodo
on an epic quest.

Haiku 12/15

Fifty-two minutes
to walk to Houston St. from
Columbus Circle.

Haiku 12/16

Carried a toddler
and a piss-covered kickball
across Canal St.

Haiku 12/17

Bartended again.
It was all cool except for
counting out the drawer.

Haiku 12/18

Anxiety dreams
about friends eating raw meat
geting hit by cars.

Haiku 12/19

My last day of work
until well after Christmas.
Finally rest up.


Haiku 12/20

First day off all month.
Fried chicken and Christmas gifts
with my lady love.

Haiku 12/21

Up at 4:30,
losing my contact lenses
before showering.

Haiku 12/22

Slept ten plus hours.
I love that secondhand smoke,
the rain, and the car.

Haiku 12/23

There's no such thing as
a considerate smoker,
with my lungs involved.

Haiku 12/24

Took a reggae run
Hung with the kegerator
Drew dicks on my face.

Haiku 12/25

Weird conspiracy:
James Brown dies the day before
Jesus's birthday.

Haiku 12/26

Had some Terrytime,
took Sharon to Mamma Zu's,
and then to The Byrd.

Haiku 12/27

Dreamt about mole,
bad talk radio car ride,
took off on my bike.

Haiku 12/28

Didn't do jack shit,
and it felt about perfect
to sit on my ass.

Haiku 12/29

Had a big morning
acting wicked cultural,
then I got some beer.

Haiku 12/30

Rode my bike around
exchanging those xmas gifts
that don't fit my life.

Haiku 12/31

10 9 8 7
6 5 4 3 2 1 and
chocolate fondue!

Excerpt From My 2006 Haiku Diary

Haiku 4/1

Two trays of nachos!
This includes three bags of chips,
and four bags of cheese.

Haiku 4/2

Nachos, two new songs,
skateboarding, nice-ass weather,
Jamaican shower.

Haiku 4/3

Sat up late, reading.
And I saw Bobcat Goldthwaite
walking down Broadway.

Haiku 4/4

I crave free time, but
when I get it, why do I
just piss it away?

Haiku 4/5

There's no telling if
I'll want to be creative
when I have the time.

Haiku 4/6

Young bar folks get all
nostalgic for alt-rock songs
I'm too old to like.

Haiku 4/7

Saw The Hold Steady!
Sharon said I was the most
ethnic person there.

Haiku 4/8

Had a hangover.
I gave myself a tattoo
and had some houseguests.

Haiku 4/9

It's between winter
and the allergy season.
A grace period.

Haiku 4/10

Did you ever drink
bourbon from hollow chocolate
Easter Bunny heads?

Haiku 4/11

There's a bottle of
Remy in the food photos
at the Chinese spot.

Haiku 4/12

Celebrated our
anniversary, watching
"Reno 911."

Haiku 4/13

My sister's moving
in a neighborhood over.
I made stuffed peppers.

Haiku 4/14

Sat in traffic for
four hours and I had an
allergy attack.

Haiku 4/15

My old band played a
reunion show in Richmond.
It was really fun.

Haiku 4/16

Lost my voice last night,
and spent the afternoon in
my parents' crawlspace.

Haiku 4/17

Went to a high school,
spoke to a class about zines.
Still freaked out by jocks.

Haiku 4/18

Pervert's holding up
nudie photos from his car.
I'm on the Greyhound.

Haiku 4/19

Left my phone at work,
then returned Matt's Metrocard.
Made two trips back.

Haiku 4/20

Dude, it's four-twenty!
I cleared the bong twice before
heading off to work.

Haiku 4/21

Pulled a skater punk
up through Bed-Stuy on my bike
on my way back home.

Haiku 4/22

Felt sick and sneezy.
Got Tigerbalm in my eye,
and watched "ATL."

Haiku 4/23

When the rain let up,
we rode bikes into Crown Heights
for some ital food.

Haiku 4/24

A little-known fact:
An hour of air hockey
is really tiring.

Haiku 4/25

Lew, Drew and me jumped
the Coney Island gun. Cheap
beer's back in my life.

Haiku 4/26

I dreamed I pissed blood.
That'll sure fuck up your day.
I blame the pollen.

Haiku 4/27

Know what I'm sick of?
Sneezing! Fucking sneezing! Ugh!
I'll run out of snot!

Haiku 4/28

Bar's got weak drinks, a
four dollar photo booth, and
dress shirts. I'm leaving.

Haiku 4/29

I played music with
Kareem, Myles and Marc today.
Good times, loud guitars.

Haiku 4/30

Blugh. Sat on my ass
doing extra freelance work.
Not much to report.